On Her Gotcha Day..

In the grand scheme of eternity, three years is not long, but for our family, and our Jillian, these last three years have changed everything.  We are changed because of saying yes to this beautiful babe.  Our eyes have been opened and our hearts have been enlarged in ways I never knew imaginable.   I am forever grateful that God brought this amazing little treasure in my life.  I love her fiercely.  She is MINE and I am her Momma.  There were many, many long days in the beginning that I never thought I would earn that place in her heart.  There were many twists and turns in this journey that I never dreamed would be so hard, but three years later she smiles, she laughs, she communicates, and she is thriving! 

 She has done much more for me than I could ever do for her.  She continues to teach me so very much about love, trust, and facing adversity.

 Watching her heal has been like walking on holy ground most days as all that she has accomplished once seemed impossible.

 She faces many, many challenges each day yet caring for her is a privilege, that I don't deserve, but I give thanks a million times a day as I watch her living with such JOY.

Praying that someday she will actually eat this cake.  Until then, I will just keep putting it in front of her and watch as she blows out the candles smiling.

Because..

 there is nothing better than an afternoon at the park with my babies and my camera.

 Beautiful.

 Stunning.

 Moments in this life that I long to hold onto.

 Sweet.

 Sassy.

Hand in hand.
Summer can't get here soon enough.

Remember Easter Three Years Ago

Three Easters ago, we were in China and holding our five year old treasure for the first time.  It was our first adoption.  We experienced new life in such a tangible way that Easter morning when were handed a fifteen pound twenty five month old who was so wounded and had endured years of neglect, but was suddenly a daughter with hope because we were doing our best to live out the gospel in our lives and answer God's call to love the least.  She was the least we were called to and watching God restore her in the last three years as He has allowed us a small part is something that continues to blow me away.  This weekend alone our sweet, sweet baby has done much.  We had her at an Easter egg hunt in our community on Saturday morning and while she communicated (and I could visibly see) that she was scared out of her mind to be there, she participated!  She sat next to me in a crowded fellowship hall where she had never been before and listened to the story of Jesus resurrection being read.  She walked next to me outside and put a few eggs in a basket.  She has played and played at the park full of smiles and JOY.  She has signed "momma" because she wanted her momma to feed her and, at this moment, she is playing in the water with her daddy in our backyard with the biggest smile on her face.  I wish I could put into words the absolute awe I am in as I watch her.  I just can't imagine what my life would be without her in it and I am forever grateful to God for allowing me the small part of her that He has.  She is a walking miracle whose heart continues to be restored.  When I consider all that she has accomplished, I am overcome with emotion because I know there are millions more like her that wait, just as wounded and broken, this Easter for the hope that she was given three years ago in that government office when we made her ours.  Praying today that we, as believers, consider all that God has done for us by resurrecting His Son and that we are prompted to be His hands and feet to those least who need the hope we have to offer because we belong to Him. 

On Your Gotcha Day..

Dearest Anna Mei,
On your Gotcha Day..

 We spent nearly 30 minutes looking at our China pictures.  Of all my children, you are the one who craves your history more than any other.

 You want so badly to remember every detail and to be a part of all that is your family at the same time.  You are sweet, passionate, and loving.

  You are emotional, can be fierce, and determined.  Our lives are much richer because you are in them.

  As you scream this very minute on your bed in rebellion of your quiet time, I embrace the spirit and strong will the Lord has given you the best I can.  I cherish you.  I love who you are and who you are becoming.

 I love that you just spent ten minutes on the floor acting out our broken tire in the van last week and that you requested screwdrivers (real ones) to "fix" it.  I love that you know the difference between a phillips head and a straight one.

  I can't get over the way you told me all day yesterday that it was your "gotch" day demanding an orange candle for your cake.   BUT mostly, on your gotcha day, I can't bear the thought that I could have missed you all together.

 

 You my dear, sweet girl are a miraculous blessing.  I adore you.  I love your chubby cheeks, the way your hand fits in mine, and the sound of your voice calling mommy in the night.  I can't wait to see where God takes you dear one.  I can't wait to see just how He uses your life for His purposes.  I am honored that you are mine.  

All My Love On Your Gotcha Day,
Momma

We Are Home..

This was only the second Saturday we spent in our new home, but I am feeling like we are home!  Finally, we are home.

 Anna Mei and I did a donut run while everyone slept.  We hit the neighborhood bakery for the first time.  DELICIOUS!

 My angel's face lit naturally by all the sunlight in our living room. Is she not stunning? 

 We worked (and played) in our backyard the entire day.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy Momma watching them.

 She loves our flower bed mud in the backyard.

This beauty was full of JOY the entire day!  We all were!  This home is perfect!  I think it may be my favorite yet, but Em says I say that every time!  Still we have redone and touched every inch of it and it is all ours.  To say, I am thrilled to be settling in is an understatement!

My Little Helper

With all the renovating of our new home and the many, many projects I have had to complete, this little lady is getting pretty good at using her tools.  It is so much sweeter to have a little one next to me helping me each day than doing it alone though it often takes a bit longer.

I just can't get enough of the angles of her little face or the chubbiness of her little hands.  She is growing and changing so fast.  My momma heart just wishes I could keep her little forever.  I am grateful to have every moment with her as I know how very fast they grow up. 

It's Quiet

It's quiet and my mind is remembering the beauty of the worship music blaring through our van as my two Chinese beauties were both clapping their hands and singing Jesus name on the way to school.  God is so good to give me these two treasures as my own.  How I absolutely cherish them!  I am grateful for that image of them, that I hold in my heart, on the way to drop Jillian off at school yesterday singing with such JOY to Vertical Church's I believe in You.  I certainly never dreamed I would be walking here with these beauties in the stage of life, but it is the sweetest and most beautiful road I have ever walked.