Perspective

Today, I watched my Jilly sleep and I wept.  I wept because I was filled with love for her as I watched.  I thought about how miraculous she was and how beautiful she is growing up to be, but then I thought about the millions of little girls sleeping in institutions around the world without a mother to watch them sleep.  I was undone.

Friday, I went to an IEP meeting for my Jillian.  I sat around the room at her school with a team full of incredible people who love my girl and are devoted to making sure she reaches her full potential.  The opportunities she has in the district we are in are simply incredible.  I was happy to hear of all their plans for her, but then I cried the whole way home because I just wish that the millions of other special needs orphans in the world could have what my baby girl does. 

A little over a month ago after just seeing Molly Kate's face on a data base, I took my Anna Mei to her first dance class.  I watched her with great pride as she was adorable in her tutu moving across the floor.  I stood around the small viewing window as the six other momma's watched with the same adoring eyes looking at their daughters just as I was doing.  It made me ache down deep inside that millions of children will never see eyes of a momma looking adoringly at them. 

I listened this week to Anna Mei as we drove in the van say to her daddy..Can you come too Daddy because you are great because you are MY daddy!  I was not the only one tearing up as Sean could hardly see to drive.

Y'all it makes me long for Jesus return in a way I never have because children were not meant to be without a momma and daddy.  It also makes me want to shake those around me who say things like you can't save them all and can you fix her hands when they look at my Molly because to God who created her she is one precious treasure among the all who will be coming home.  And this perspective, dear friends, is why we willingly go again without counting the cost  to add just one more child to our quiver.  This is why we sell our wedding rings, part with stuff, and give up vacations just to have one more home because home is where every precious child belongs.   I regret so terribly all the time I wasted blinded by this world to the needs of these amazing children who wait for the love of a family because these treasures that God has entrusted to me are by far some of the greatest blessings of my life.  There are many, many more blessings waiting to be called son or daughter.  Is one of them yours?

A Girl And Her New Swing

Today, Tom came and hung this swing he made for our girls.  I am continually overwhelmed by Christ's love as it is shown to us through this amazing body of Christ we serve alongside.  Jillian and Anna Mei played with a similar swing he hung in his basement when we had dinner there and so he made one for them to have at our house.  I led Jillian through the door after school and right into our family room where it is hung.  She was thrilled to see it.  She hopped on and was all smiles!  We will be spending many cold winter days swinging our blues away in our downstairs family room.

Mei Mei doesn't particularly enjoy adventure so she was just relaxing on the couch while Jilly got her crazy out.  She did eventually get on for a few moments, but not without my holding onto her the entire time.  That's ok though because Jilly has enough crazy for all of us.

Oh this girl of ours..SO MUCH JOY!!!

Our Little Cheerleader

 One of my favorite things about fall is that we have football games every other week at our home field.  It is a wonderful time of fellowship and so much fun.  Anna Mei has taken a big liking to the cheerleaders as we watch each game.  Most of the cheerleaders from our Christian school attend youth group so they are her "big friends".  Needless to say when they handed out a paper about a husky puppy cheer clinic for 3 year olds at school,  our sweet three year old was all in.  She was thrilled to cheer with her friends!

She ate up being in front of that huge crowd of people and clapping, cheering, and kicking. We are in BIG trouble friends.  She got home from clinic and said into the mirror..I look so cute in my new bow.  She also said I will teach baby sister all about cheering! 

Here is her "kick" when her name was called.  It was darling!

Here is her favorite cheer.  She has been cheering it all morning.

Daddy took her to the clinic and lost a hair tie on the way, but don't worry as daddy had an extra one in his truck.  That just made me chuckle as my man was meant to be the daddy to four little girls.  I love it.

Jilly loves the games too as she enjoys visiting with her special friends, but could care less about cheering!

A Trip To The ER

The night before last, I held my very sick and in pain special needs treasure in the ER.  This is not a place I ever want to spend time.  I sang my off key version of "This is Amazing Grace" to her as she was writhing and screaming in the CT scanner.  Again, if I was never back there I would not mourn.   It was a hard night, but also a beautiful one because my baby girl wanted me.  She wanted me to be near her, hold her, and comfort her.  Her symptoms have subsided for the most part and we didn't find any reason for her closed eyes and signing help, hurt, stop hurt except a double ear infection.   Still, I was shaking in my boots when the doc at our clinic said he was sending us to the ER.  I prayed to Jesus, as I drove the two littles there, begging Him to let my baby be ok.  Jilly was hysterical by this point and my sweet Anna Mei said, "Momma my face yiddle bit sad cause I worry bout Jilly."  Bless this momma's heart.  Sean arrived from church at the ER as fast as he could and we watched while our precious, once discarded, treasure received the best medical care all while resting in the arms of her momma.  The staff was amazing in the ER and took every bit of precaution when working with our very special little one to try to keep her as comfortable as possible.  She never left my arms except to get that CT scan and I was standing right beside her.  After everyone had gone and our treasure was calming down and able to finally fall asleep on my chest, I just looked at Daddy sitting next to the bed and said what an immense privilege this is that God would allow us to care for her as ours.  I am continually humbled by this job He has given me and overwhelmed by how very much I love this little lady.    Literally, I felt as if my heart could burst wide open as she rested there in my arms asleep on my chest because I love her so much.  As we were being discharged, I even got to say we have four daughters.  FOUR.  Oh my heart friends, that God would allow this blessing again is just amazing!  It is a crazy, messy, chaotic life, but it is also more beautiful than I could have ever imagined!

Snails Pace

I remember how much harder it was to get all these errands and all this paperwork done with only one little when we paper chased to Anna Mei.  Well, with two littles it is nearly impossible.  I have such a long list and so many things keep coming up that it seems like I am crawling at a snails pace.  I got up at 5:30 this morning and did have about 45 Anna free minutes to work.  I got one paper done.  One.  Only about 256 more to go.  At this rate, Molly Kate should be home by 2016. 

My Cup Overfloweth with Joy

Today, I had the most amazing morning with my Anna Mei.  It was nothing special.  We ran errands.  Lots of errands.  Two banks.  Two grocery stores.  It was an ordinary day that is just so extraordinary because my girls are in it. 

On the way to take Jilly to school, I could hear Anna's little voice floating up to me from the backseat.  She was singing:
this amazin' grace.
this ufail love.
that you take place.
bare cross. 
you lay down life so I free. 
Jesus I sing you done for me. 

Broken three old language that is simply beautiful to hear.  She was singing from her heart one of our favorite worship songs  "This is Amazing Grace" by Phil Wickham.  Honestly, this moment changed the course of my entire day because I just began to audibly thank Jesus for making me the momma of this amazing, spectacular (albeit sometimes challenging) little treasure and I was begging Him to give the power to truly love her this morning.  And for this morning, I felt like I overcame the world.  I took her pace for our errands as I savored each moment with her.  We looked at the baby dolls in the Walmart aisle for what seemed like an hour and I was present there with her today.  I didn't think about my list, my phone, my very messy house, or any of the other million things that could have taken me away from just being with this girl. 

Each time I go somewhere with this little beauty, she is like a senior citizen magnet and this morning was not different.  I can't tell you how many people commented about how delightful she was or who said how adorable she was or who just stopped to smile at us.  One woman even stopped long enough to tell me how very lucky I was to have her.  I assured her I knew it. It made me reflect this morning on the miracle it is that she is mine and riding in my minivan here in the midwest.  How is it that God could orchestrate such?  How is it that I would have such a tremendous blessing laid out for me?   How is it that God could create in me such a fierce, unconditional love for a little one who just a little more than a year ago, I had never met? 

Miracle. 
Beautiful Miracle.

 Beautiful miracle that I get to experience again!!!!  Really, Lord that you should choose me is beyond my grasp as I am weak and so unworthy, but I thank you for your presence this morning and the power you gave me to truly enjoy these moments with this one very special girl whom I love so very much!  Thinking of bringing home another one is just simply too much to take in as I am so overflowing with Joy!  My God You are so very good!

Isaiah 55

I received an envelope today.  It was a check for the first two payments for our adoption.  We sent away our paperwork knowing we would have this $3,700 due in the next two weeks.  We had no plan about how to get it and no idea where it would come from.  We only knew it would come.  After sending the papers in on Friday with zero reserve to pay the first fee, I found a message on Saturday morning in my inbox that said this payment would be covered because some beautiful friends were mailing a check.  It came today and this is the beginning of our story..the beginning of our Molly Kate.  A story that will be full of many, many people coming alongside us believing that our precious daughter is more valuable than anything this world can offer.  Many will pray, rally, shed a tear, and love on this amazing little girl in the years to come and this is the beginning.  On her check my friend wrote Isaiah 55.  This will be constantly on my heart and lips in the coming months. Thank you dear, dear friend.

Invitation to the Thirsty

55 “Come, all you who are thirsty,
    come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
    come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
    without money and without cost.
² Why spend money on what is not bread,
    and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
    and you will delight in the richest of fare.
³ Give ear and come to me;
    listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
    my faithful love promised to David.
⁴ See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
    a ruler and commander of the peoples.
⁵ Surely you will summon nations you know not,
    and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel,
    for he has endowed you with splendor.”

⁶ Seek the Lord while he may be found;
    call on him while he is near.
⁷ Let the wicked forsake their ways
    and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
    and to our God, for he will freely pardon.

⁸ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
⁹ “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.
¹⁰ As the rain and the snow
    come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
    without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
    so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
¹¹ so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
    It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
    and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
¹² You will go out in joy
    and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
    will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
    will clap their hands.
¹³ Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,
    and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
    for an everlasting sign,
    that will endure forever.”

Please cover us in prayer in the coming months and our precious treasure as she waits.

You Know We Are Adopting Again When..

You wake up to a leaking roof.

You recieve an unexpected bill in the mail.

Your daughter's NOVA chat happens to stop working and needs repair.

Yep.  Satan is on the move against us and while we can't announce anything just yet.  God is moving mountains (and our hearts) for the least.

Her First Dance Class

An amazing teenager from our church has transferred her free dance class to my Anna Mei.  This generous teen said every little girl should have a chance to be a ballerina and so my Anna Mei is getting her chance.  My word was she so extremely excited.  A very special friend, who just happens to be this teen's momma, took my treasure shopping and got her both tap and ballet shoes.  Anna was over the moon.  I thought she might sleep in them!  To watch this baby girl embracing life is just so stinking rewarding.

I took a bit of video of her at dance.  She isn't quite ready for broadway yet, but my is she adorable!  She is a good foot shorter than all the other little girls in her class and it isn't always easy for her to coordinate all those body parts, but she smiles and smiles and smiles which makes this momma smile too.

Getting Some Air

We spent Labor Day at the local trampoline park.  Needless to say, this beauty LOVED it!  They have an early morning jump club that is about a third of the price of their open hours and since the girls are up early every day I think this may become a regular activity for us.

I never did get this little sweetie still long enough to get a good picture of her.  After jumping for an hour, Daddy and I were feeling our age, but the girls were not phased.  They went on to hike and play at the park all before 10:50 AM.  Thankful God continues to give me the energy to keep up with these littles as they are so much fun! 

When we arrived home after our morning, our teen was still in bed.  It sure made us think about how different life would be without our Chinese babes! 

 

 

She Can Say Momma

She can say Momma..with her voice.  She can finally say momma.  

 I had really come to terms with the fact that this sweet babe would likely never be able to voice the word momma or speak any words at all.  AND I am grateful that she can sign and use her computer to communicate, but I am thrilled over the moon that God is now allowing a bit of her voice to come through and that that particular bit is the word momma.  Hearing this treasure say momma means more than I could ever articulate!  She calls for me when she is playing downstairs, when she wants me in the car, when she needs something in the bathroom..how sweet it is to hear her mamamama coming out of her mouth!

 a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.  Isaiah 61:3