A Trip To The ER

The night before last, I held my very sick and in pain special needs treasure in the ER.  This is not a place I ever want to spend time.  I sang my off key version of "This is Amazing Grace" to her as she was writhing and screaming in the CT scanner.  Again, if I was never back there I would not mourn.   It was a hard night, but also a beautiful one because my baby girl wanted me.  She wanted me to be near her, hold her, and comfort her.  Her symptoms have subsided for the most part and we didn't find any reason for her closed eyes and signing help, hurt, stop hurt except a double ear infection.   Still, I was shaking in my boots when the doc at our clinic said he was sending us to the ER.  I prayed to Jesus, as I drove the two littles there, begging Him to let my baby be ok.  Jilly was hysterical by this point and my sweet Anna Mei said, "Momma my face yiddle bit sad cause I worry bout Jilly."  Bless this momma's heart.  Sean arrived from church at the ER as fast as he could and we watched while our precious, once discarded, treasure received the best medical care all while resting in the arms of her momma.  The staff was amazing in the ER and took every bit of precaution when working with our very special little one to try to keep her as comfortable as possible.  She never left my arms except to get that CT scan and I was standing right beside her.  After everyone had gone and our treasure was calming down and able to finally fall asleep on my chest, I just looked at Daddy sitting next to the bed and said what an immense privilege this is that God would allow us to care for her as ours.  I am continually humbled by this job He has given me and overwhelmed by how very much I love this little lady.    Literally, I felt as if my heart could burst wide open as she rested there in my arms asleep on my chest because I love her so much.  As we were being discharged, I even got to say we have four daughters.  FOUR.  Oh my heart friends, that God would allow this blessing again is just amazing!  It is a crazy, messy, chaotic life, but it is also more beautiful than I could have ever imagined!