Because..

 there is nothing better than an afternoon at the park with my babies and my camera.

 Beautiful.

 Stunning.

 Moments in this life that I long to hold onto.

 Sweet.

 Sassy.

Hand in hand.
Summer can't get here soon enough.

Remember Easter Three Years Ago

Three Easters ago, we were in China and holding our five year old treasure for the first time.  It was our first adoption.  We experienced new life in such a tangible way that Easter morning when were handed a fifteen pound twenty five month old who was so wounded and had endured years of neglect, but was suddenly a daughter with hope because we were doing our best to live out the gospel in our lives and answer God's call to love the least.  She was the least we were called to and watching God restore her in the last three years as He has allowed us a small part is something that continues to blow me away.  This weekend alone our sweet, sweet baby has done much.  We had her at an Easter egg hunt in our community on Saturday morning and while she communicated (and I could visibly see) that she was scared out of her mind to be there, she participated!  She sat next to me in a crowded fellowship hall where she had never been before and listened to the story of Jesus resurrection being read.  She walked next to me outside and put a few eggs in a basket.  She has played and played at the park full of smiles and JOY.  She has signed "momma" because she wanted her momma to feed her and, at this moment, she is playing in the water with her daddy in our backyard with the biggest smile on her face.  I wish I could put into words the absolute awe I am in as I watch her.  I just can't imagine what my life would be without her in it and I am forever grateful to God for allowing me the small part of her that He has.  She is a walking miracle whose heart continues to be restored.  When I consider all that she has accomplished, I am overcome with emotion because I know there are millions more like her that wait, just as wounded and broken, this Easter for the hope that she was given three years ago in that government office when we made her ours.  Praying today that we, as believers, consider all that God has done for us by resurrecting His Son and that we are prompted to be His hands and feet to those least who need the hope we have to offer because we belong to Him. 

On Your Gotcha Day..

Dearest Anna Mei,
On your Gotcha Day..

 We spent nearly 30 minutes looking at our China pictures.  Of all my children, you are the one who craves your history more than any other.

 You want so badly to remember every detail and to be a part of all that is your family at the same time.  You are sweet, passionate, and loving.

  You are emotional, can be fierce, and determined.  Our lives are much richer because you are in them.

  As you scream this very minute on your bed in rebellion of your quiet time, I embrace the spirit and strong will the Lord has given you the best I can.  I cherish you.  I love who you are and who you are becoming.

 I love that you just spent ten minutes on the floor acting out our broken tire in the van last week and that you requested screwdrivers (real ones) to "fix" it.  I love that you know the difference between a phillips head and a straight one.

  I can't get over the way you told me all day yesterday that it was your "gotch" day demanding an orange candle for your cake.   BUT mostly, on your gotcha day, I can't bear the thought that I could have missed you all together.

 

 You my dear, sweet girl are a miraculous blessing.  I adore you.  I love your chubby cheeks, the way your hand fits in mine, and the sound of your voice calling mommy in the night.  I can't wait to see where God takes you dear one.  I can't wait to see just how He uses your life for His purposes.  I am honored that you are mine.  

All My Love On Your Gotcha Day,
Momma

We Are Home..

This was only the second Saturday we spent in our new home, but I am feeling like we are home!  Finally, we are home.

 Anna Mei and I did a donut run while everyone slept.  We hit the neighborhood bakery for the first time.  DELICIOUS!

 My angel's face lit naturally by all the sunlight in our living room. Is she not stunning? 

 We worked (and played) in our backyard the entire day.  Happy.  Happy.  Happy Momma watching them.

 She loves our flower bed mud in the backyard.

This beauty was full of JOY the entire day!  We all were!  This home is perfect!  I think it may be my favorite yet, but Em says I say that every time!  Still we have redone and touched every inch of it and it is all ours.  To say, I am thrilled to be settling in is an understatement!

My Little Helper

With all the renovating of our new home and the many, many projects I have had to complete, this little lady is getting pretty good at using her tools.  It is so much sweeter to have a little one next to me helping me each day than doing it alone though it often takes a bit longer.

I just can't get enough of the angles of her little face or the chubbiness of her little hands.  She is growing and changing so fast.  My momma heart just wishes I could keep her little forever.  I am grateful to have every moment with her as I know how very fast they grow up. 

It's Quiet

It's quiet and my mind is remembering the beauty of the worship music blaring through our van as my two Chinese beauties were both clapping their hands and singing Jesus name on the way to school.  God is so good to give me these two treasures as my own.  How I absolutely cherish them!  I am grateful for that image of them, that I hold in my heart, on the way to drop Jillian off at school yesterday singing with such JOY to Vertical Church's I believe in You.  I certainly never dreamed I would be walking here with these beauties in the stage of life, but it is the sweetest and most beautiful road I have ever walked. 

It's Back

Her voice is here!  We had a trial last month meaning that we were given four weeks with this incredible, amazing device.  During that four weeks, our speech therapists called our trial "the most successful" she had ever seen.  My baby girl carried this voice everywhere on her own without prompting.  She used it to name fruits and vegetables in the produce aisle at the store, used it to tell me she didn't want to drink oj a million times a day as I made her try it when we had the voice and she did not like it, and so much more.  When the trial was over and I had to send her voice back, I packed it up, dropped it off at UPS, and cried the whole way home.  I knew Jilly would miss it.  I knew her ability to communicate most effectively would now be gone for 4-6 weeks, but God has been working full speed to reunite my darling girl with her voice.  Our insurance approved her purchase stat and it just so happened that a brand new voice was ordered weeks ago and was just finished being built  for a client who would have to cancel their order this very week when my Jilly's approval came from our benefits!  They were able to transfer her saved files to it right away and we do not have to wait for another to be manufactured for her!  Praising God today that her voice is back!  When I signed for it, I teared up again probably causing the UPS man to think I am a lunatic and maybe I am, but I am thrilled to have it back!  I called her in the living room to open the box.  I tried to video her face through my tears, but baby girl has the sliest smile while she looks down at the machine.  The first thing she said was "I don't want to drink orange juice" which just about caused me to split my pants I was laughing so hard.  She then started running back and forth down the hallway talking with this incredible device!  I am so thrilled for her and praising God for all He continues to make possible for her!

Job 37:5

God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding.

Piggy Tails

An orphan's head is shaved and even though said head is very, very adorable..it reminds me of all the time she didn't have me to care for her as I look at it. Because of this, I wait in anticipation for this day and it has come!

Anna Mei can wear piggy tails!

She is so stinking cute indeed!

Joy Joy Joy

I'll be the first to admit, there have been many, many circumstances that I have allowed to steal my joy in the last few weeks.  This season that we are in is the one of the most challenging I have ever had.  Being in this new place, with a new babe, renovating a house, being away from my friends..it's been getting to me too much.  So Thursday on the way to school as Anna Mei demanded we sing JOY JOY JOY IN HEART (her words exactly), I resigned to rise above.  I decided to spend far less time focusing on my surrounding circumstances (that really are very, very insignificant compared to what many people are facing) and focus on the hope that I have because of my relationship with Jesus.  As a result, I abandon my duties on Thursday morning and just enjoyed my Anna while Jillian was in school.  Then before picking Jilly up that morning, Anna and I packed the wagon in the van, lunches in our backpack, and prepared to spend a few hours together at our new neighborhood park.  I drove us to the new house, unpacked the wagon, loaded the girls in, and walked the route to our new park.  I was overcome with more JOY than I have seen in my heart in weeks as I imagined my family here in the months to come.  There are just enough swings, climbing equipment galore, a great ball court for Daddy and Em, and sidewalks all the way there.  God has been so very good and, while some circumstances may have seemed overwhelming in the last few weeks, He continues to meet our needs abundantly.  I am so blessed. 

 Anna Mei was so very pleased with all she could now do by herself.  She kept saying BIG girl now!

 This treasure's eyes are a window to her soul.  How I wish I could get into her heart for just a moment.

 She found watery puddles to splash in too.

 She smiled at the sandbox.  I have a feeling we will be spending lots of time here.

 This little peanut loved everything including eating her pretzels at the park on a picnic.

I can't wait until we are settled in our new home and we don't have to drive the wagon to the new house in order to walk to this little park.  I can just see my babes growing up here and I can't wait to see all that God has in store for us.

On Her Finding Day..

Today, I am overcome with emotion because today is Jillian's finding day. 
Dearest Jillian,
Five years ago today, just five days after your birth, you were found by a woman and taken to the orphanage.  Five years ago today, your birth mother likely saw and kissed you for the last time.  She had five days with you and I hope with all my heart that the memories of those days are ones she can hold onto and treasure.  I am grateful today for the protection that God provided you as you lay waiting for someone to find you.  I feel so unworthy to parent you as you are such a miraculous little being whom God clearly has a great plan for.  My precious girl I can't thank your birth mother enough for giving you life.  I can't imagine what she went through in deciding to leave you this day five years ago, but I am grateful to God for leading me to you and that I get the chance to know you as my daughter.  I love you with all my heart.  I have seen great miracles in the last three years as I walk beside you and my faith in God is so much bigger because of your part in my life.  If I could see your birth mother now, if I could only have a few minutes with her, I would assure her that you are loved and treasured.  I would tell her of the great God who protected you and brought you to me.  I would give the glory to Him for the works He continues to do in your life.  You my dear, dear sweet girl are so very loved by me, but even more loved by the one who made you and wrote each of these days in His book long before He gave you to me.  He alone is the one who planned for you to be found on this day five years ago.  He directed the steps of the person who found  you, made sure you were taken to that small, rural orphanage, and then brought to us nearly two years later.  You are one of the greatest blessings of my life and today I pause to remember your birth mother and give thanks for her.

Her Birthday

Sunday we celebrated her.  It had it's struggles as our newest treasure had a very difficult time allowing her sister to be in the spotlight, but we did our best to help Jilly be the star of the day while still making Anna feel treasured.  I can't believe that Jillian is five years old.  Truly these last three years seem like they have gone by so fast and I can't imagine my life without this sweet treasure in it.

 Clearly, she is wondering what this is all about.

 She liked her Mr. Potato Head cake.

 She tore into her presents without even waiting to be told.

 She was very careful to tear the paper just right.

 These were her favorite gift.  She uses them in OT and she is good at this game!  She was happy to see them.

 She was hiding her eyes while waiting for her cake to come out.

We are thrilled to have her here with us another year!  She is truly our miracle and we are grateful for the privilege of parenting her.  I remember the first year we celebrated her.  She has come so far.

For the Love of the K Cup

This is probably one of the roughest mornings I have had with my cherubs in a long while.  It was not only one of them..it was BOTH of them.  The littlest was fussy and irritated for a good hour which in turn irritated and set off an autstic offness for my oldest.  MAN it was ROUGH!  Daddy even had to stay home and cancel his lunch plans to help.  Throw in a house renovation, more snow, laundry, messes, and don't forget the cold and you might as well commit me.  I am doing my best to choose JOY today because I know that God has got this.  I know that God knows the details of the next minutes, hours, and months.  I know He won't leave me.  For that I am grateful.

And since looking over a little cuteness does improve my mood, I decided to edit and upload these shots of Anna overlooking her hot chocolate brewing.  The girl LOVES her some hot chocolate.  I hope they make you smile as much as they make me smile!

 We just unpacked the magic one cup machine.

 She is a fan.

 Daddy had to get some sweet chocolate kisses from her.

She says..I Love Hot Chocolate!

May I Never Get Over This..

I’m reposting this from Crazy Life of the Wilk’s Family.  Very sad reality for so many children.  Their reality.  Just because we don’t “see” the orphan most definitely does not mean that they are not suffering.
You have to choose to see…
“This is a hard post for me to write, but its a post that must be written.
Today an orphan died in China.

He was a beautiful, precious little boy who had his whole life ahead of him.  He was living with a foster family.  He was receiving monthly transfusions thanks to the amazing group of thal moms I call friends here in the states.  His paperwork was being prepared for adoption.  Unfortunately, any illness can have a significant effect on the severity of his thalassemia.  When an illness that caused diarrhea swept through the orphanage the last week, it was too much for his little body to handle. He passed from this life into the arms of Jesus.
My heart is heavy again today.  I will never be able to hear of an orphan dying without being overcome by sadness.  This isn’t the first thal child who has died…

This sweet girl mattered too.  She deserved a family.  She deserved to get the best doctors coming to her aid.  But she lost her fight and passed into the arms of Jesus too.
I’ve often been asked “Why not adopt from foster care?”  I’ve been told that there are so many kids here in the US and we should “take care of our own” before we help the world.  I’m not going to argue these questions or points at all.
I simply believe that children matter.  ALL children matter.  ALL children deserve to have the love of a family.  Someone to kiss their boo boos.  Someone to hug them and tell them they can do anything.  ALL children deserve to have food on the table.  ALL children should have the opportunity to get an education.  ALL children deserve to get the medical care they need to get better.
Today an orphan died in Yulin, Guangxi, China.
And so did others… In China.  In Russia.  In Ukraine.  In Ethiopia.  In India.  In Uganda.  In Honduras.  In so many orphanages around the world these precious children, who have already experienced unimaginable loss, continue the fight of their lives.
An estimated 143 million orphans can be found in countries worldwide.
I believe that all of us have a responsibility to these children.  God calls ALL of us to help. 
Pray for ONE.  If you need a picture, a story, and a name.  I know plenty of them.  Make one child your priority to pray for every day while they wait for a forever family to take over those prayers.
Sponsor ONE.  Amazing agencies are doing amazing work in countries worldwide.  They are making a difference everyday in the lives of children throughout the world.  I would be happy to point you in the direction of some that I know. (Project Hopeful, Morning Star, New Day Foster Home, Lifesong for Orphans, Child’s Hope Int’l, SOS Ministries, Reece’s Rainbow, Cambodia Baptist Orphanage)  (I, Beka, personally have supported or currently support these linked ministries, very trusted sources!  Instead of giving your donations to organizations here in America that have revenues in the billions, why not give to orphans in absolute desperate poverty?  Make your money count!  The rich don’t need your money, the poor does).
Foster ONE.  If you are one of those who has a heart for America’s children, I encourage you to reach out to your local social services and find out what it takes to become a foster parent.
Support ONE.  At this moment, I know of at least twenty families who felt God’s call to adopt a child, even though they didn’t have enough in their bank accounts to cover an adoption, and took that step out to help care for ONE.  I’d be happy to show you families that you could support.  (I really like to use Reece’s Rainbow for this).
Adopt ONE.  If you think you might be willing to bring a precious orphan into their forever, please email me. MEPSCOASTIE@YAHOO.COM.  I will be happy to lead you to the agency and program that’s right for you.
I pray that this message reaches you all.  I pray that a precious little boy’s death will be the catalyst for something good to happen.  Today an orphan died in China, but I pray with all my heart that others won’t have to.”
“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves”
“Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.” Prov 31: 9
“And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.”  Matt 18:5

A DIAPER BOX AND SOME DINOSAURS

 A diaper box and some dinosaurs

save the day!

We are tired of being cooped up inside so Saturday I dug out some plastic dinosaurs they don't ever remember playing with and added this huge diaper box to our living room landscape.  It produced some loud, giggling fun!  These moments are sweet and this season in our lives (though very literally the coldest we have experienced) is full of beautiful memories.  I love these beauties!

Yes She Did..

 Yes, she did indeed have the time of her life painting her orange bedroom in our new house.  Orange?  Yes, this little lady of mine loves orange and insisted on having an orange bedroom. I have no earthly idea why she has fallen in love with orange, but she reminds us daily that her new room is to be orange and now it is just that! 

I am adding in a new floral quilt, a re-purposed chandelier, my childhood canopy bed repainted, and a hot pink stripe to make it look like a precious little girl's room.  It is a room with a personality as big as our little one's for sure.  I can't wait until everything is done and we are settled in.  We are so excited to begin doing life there!  This little moment is the first of many happy memories within the walls of our little yellow home.  God has provided in BIG ways for us and we are grateful to all of those working alongside us.

Her Voice

Our new insurance benefits for Jillian approved the purchase of this voice (an electronic device) for her.  This momma has a hard time holding back the tears because my baby girl finally has a voice.  This new voice has the potential to unlock so much of her and I can hardly stand my excitement for her.  She has been in several situations in the last few weeks where her signs weren't understood and she was so frustrated.  This voice is her golden ticket to communicate with anyone around her and I am thrilled.  Nearly three years ago when we were given this treasure, I never dreamed the road would lead us here, but the journey (though at times heartbreaking) has been so very sweet and stretched
my faith so much!  God is good and now nearly three years later this little love of ours is doing so very well!  To Him be the glory for all He has done for her!