Can't You See Her There?

Can't you just see her there? Snuggled up in her bed-her very own bed-with momma, daddy, and her big sissy on Saturday morning before our doughnuts.

Can't you just see her there? Sitting at her big sissy's old tea party table with those big stuffed animals "pouring" tea into their glasses.

Can't you see just see her there? Making her daddy dinner with her plastic dishes and serving it up to him. Making her big sissy "eat" next to her baby dolls.

Can't you just see her there? Digging in her toy box looking for that particular little people toy with those fat, chubby toddler hands.

Can't you just see her there? Looking through those mountains of books on her shelf so her momma can read her just the right one before bed.

Can't you just see her there? Rocking with her momma each night before bed and listening to her momma try to sing the same songs (be it ever so off key) she used to sing to big sis.

Can't you just see her here with us? Orphan no more. Belonging to a family. Our family. Her family. Having a momma, daddy, big sis, and so many others who love her so much. I can see it. I dream of her here. I just said to daddy today..In six weeks, we could have our daughter home. After all the waiting-IT. WILL. REALLY. BE!!! My heart is exploding tonight. What a blessed day. So blessed that it deserves a post of its own. Maybe tomorrow. Until then, this momma is pondering the wonders and blessings of the Lord in her heart. Oh He is so good and I love Him so! Pinch me-I don't deserve this journey. Blessed beyond words!!

Oh-My-Word!

Oh-My-Word we have a lot of stuff for the sale on Saturday. The trailer is full from floor to ceiling and this is only the first load. I am sure there will 4 times more than this initial load. :) Here are the sale details..

Huge Indoor Sale

to Benefit Masterson Family Adoption

Saturday, April 2--

7:30 AM to 3:00 PM

@Camp of Champions Building

3009 Broadway Rd. Pekin, IL

Serving Lunch for $5.00 Gondola, chips, and dessert

We have antiques galore: glassware, china, quilts, furniture, longaberger baskets, baby items, designer purses (some brand new), dressers, oak desk, oak entertainment centers, glass end tables, antique trunk, antique rocker, white wooden storage cabinet with doors, little tykes vanity and nursery, battery powered 4 wheeler and cart, girls clothes, puppet theatre, ipod doc, tv, VCRs, miter saw, router, tools galore, SO MUCH MORE!!! Please pray for a crowd to come and buy all our stuff.....

If you are from this area, could you please help us pass the word by posting this on your blog or facebook? We still need a lot of money to travel in 6-7 weeks because the airfare has skyrocketed BUT God is bigger than the gasoline crisis and He desires that we get our girl home.. HE WILL PROVIDE. Can you be His hands and feet by spreading the word for us? We are blessed by you!! Absolutely blessed. Thank you so much for your willingness to help us get our little one home and into our family!

P.S. Her room is done and thanks to so many people's gifts it is soooo cute. I will post it next. Can't wait to see her little face in her kitchen, building with her mega blocks, and having tea parties with her stuffed animals. I am covered in goosebumps at the thought. Never thought this little girl would ever be part of my story, but my God is bigger than I ever imagined and this journey belongs to him. Praise Him! Praise Him!

We Are Comin'

The visas arrived....

The new luggage is purchased....

( Upside down! UGh! Just turn your head.)

Thanks to grandma and grandpa who provided this cool new zebra print luggage to darling kiddo. She thinks it will be easy to spot on the baggage claim. I agree!

WE ARE REALLY GOING TO CHINA in the next 6-7 weeks!!! For real, we are coming and Jill will be ours. Can you stand it? Can you really stand the goodness of God? I am bent over in awe of all that He is done and is doing. He just keeps heaping His blessings on us. Jill-we're a comin' baby. We're a comin'.

Moving On (TA to Come)

The issue with the paperwork has been resolved. The LOC was resent using a different overnight carrier to Guanghzou and we are moving on.. On track just about where we thought we would be before this bump. We should be traveling in May!!! This is fabulous news and I am thrilled beyond measure. Please pray that we get to our baby girl ASAP. I miss her so and want her to be with us.

Catching Up

It seems like weeks since I posted last Tuesday about our delay. We have had a full week and are still waiting for news. Please continue to pray that God will move mountains and bring us quickly to our baby girl.


In the meantime, we have the joy of the Lord that is present in our hearts in spite of our circumstances. The rest of week looked like this......

National Pie Day was on Monday! Darling Kiddo made a chocolate cream pie (her favorite) to take to school for extra credit. Delicious extra credit!!!!

Off to Chicago to go to the.....

This was truly an adventure. So many beautiful Chinese faces all around us. We were definitely the minority. We waited two hours (heard it was a six hour wait the day before) for our chance to get to the window to apply for our visas. The woman at the window was kind though and even asked us about our Jill.

Then off to the new American Girl store. This would have been the highlight of our trip when darling kiddo was younger. These days, its just a chance to "remember when" as she is way too grown up to buy dolls now. We did buy the Chinese New Year outfit for our Ivy doll though. We also awed over the sweet matching clothes for the Asian Bitty twins. Hope those are coming to my house to play with soon!!!! So precious. Simply can't wait!


Darling Kiddo also had Civil War day at school. She dressed as a nurse and even took her lunch in a metal pail just like during civil war times. She loved it as history is her favorite subject.

Hope your week was as full as ours. Happy Sunday to you!

New Mercies

Even though it is not well with my circumstances, it is well with my soul. Well because I know the love of a heavenly Father who has gone ahead of me and who has this adoption journey planned out from beginning to the end. A Father who loves Jill even more than I do. Who cares about her being placed in this family even more than I do.

Don't stop praying. I am feeling them and the new mercies of my heavenly Father that are new each morning. Looking forward to morning, but for now- I am camping in His Word for some much need reassurance.

Here is what the LORD is speaking...

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion, " says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3: 22:26

Some Bad News

We got a call from our agency today to tell us that-while we sent our LOC nearly two and half months ago-it was never received by the CCAA. We are not sure how this is all going to play out. They may wait for the original which they tracked down through UPS to arrive from Beijing (where it has been sitting for the last two and a half months) or they may issue us a new one to sign and return. Regardless, we are waiting and stuck. One thing we are sure of, this will delay our travel significantly. The thought of it is more than my heart can bare tonight. I REALLY WANT HER HOME!!! Just keep thinking.... Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord. Please pray for Jill and pray for peace for me as I wait to be united with her.

Two Years Ago Today...

Today is the day two years ago-March 16- that Jill was found. She was found in a busy town square alone-her cleft deformity very visible-and taken to a hospital. Tonight is the first night of many that she would go to sleep without her mother.




Her mother. I pray for her all the time. I pray that God continues to give her comfort and peace as I can't imagine the pain that she has felt since choosing to let Jill go. Choosing to let her go so that she could have access to life saving surgery, food, and opportunities. Opportunities that for whatever reason she was not able to give her. What a beautiful selfless act it was to surrender her precious child so that she might have a chance at life. Praying for her birth mother today. Praying that someday we might find each other and I might be able to look her in the eye and thank her for the precious gift of her girl. Thank her for allowing me to give her sweet daughter the chance to live that she wasn't able to. Praying that her heart is not hurting beyond what she can bare and that the sweet memories of the first five days that she and Jill were able to spend together are cherished in her heart as fond moments given by God. I love this woman with a love I can't really explain. She is such a vital part of this journey. She chose life for Jill and for that we are forever grateful.

One of Those Days When...

One of those days when you can't help sobbing at all the Lord has done and continues to do..

Didn't sleep much last night because frankly we have a lot of money to come up with still and there is a lot left to do to be ready to leave in 6-7 weeks. Restless. Not worried, but more excited about what the Lord is going to do. Racing mind full of so much.

Then I wake up to...

an email from a friend and her husband who want to donate all the food so that we can sell lunch at our garage sale. She is even bringing along two friends to help sell-who don't even know me because they care so much about the fatherless that they want ever child to have a home.

a check (second donation) for $150 from some precious friends who really don't have much extra spare.

another email from a friend who says she will be there to do whatever I need her to do on the day of the sale.

a man at the CVS who doesn't even charge me for the passport photos I had to get for my visa today because he cares about what we are doing.

a text from my little sister that says she will come the day of the sale and sell her Scentsy and donate to our fund.

an email from my mom who says she will be there to work that day too.

(And so many more!!!)

God is so good and you know I just keep thinking that if I had said no to this adoption thing, if I had been too scared to step out in faith, I would have missed all that God has done in our lives. This is not the first day in our journey that has been abundant with the blessings of God-these posts keep coming up again and again. $15,000 dollars donated, $5,000 donated, our family vacation paid for, friends who give-not once but- again and again..... It occurs to me all the time that-I could have missed this. If I had rationalized this thing, thought about money, let my fear take over-I would have said no-and missed being Jill's mom. I could have missed this glimpse God has given me into His heart and how He continues to show me through His word He loves the orphan. I could have missed the abundant blessings that just keep being poured on by my Father as I walk this road to our girl! Man-I am so glad I didn't miss this!! So glad today that God was persistent in us and that we said YES to this journey when He was calling.

I so wish that I could wrap my arms around each and every one of you who have been such an incredible blessing as we work to bring Jill home. You know who you are and we dearly love each and everyone of you. Can't wait for you to meet Jill. Can't wait to tell her the stories of this journey and all that God has done to bring her to us. To God Be the Glory!!!

We are coming sweet girl. We are coming..

Come On In

The only time in the world that it is ok to enter into the men's room when you are a woman is when.....

You are at a conference of 5,000 moms at ISU and all the bathrooms are turned into ladies' rooms for the day. So funny that there are always flowers in the urinals..Really there are!! :)

Hearts at Home was phenomenal. I was blessed to be taught from God's word by some seasoned moms and two professional dads who have been walking this road of parenthood a bit longer than I. Also blessed to spend the day with a wonderful friend. Oh, we need that!

Especially excited to share about our adoption journey with a couple of women before my last session started. Praying for your family, my dear friend from Iowa. Praying that God continues to open your heart for the orphan. If you stop by, I hope you'll leave a comment. Would love to get your name. For my friend near the St. Louis area-you were such an encouragement.

She Really Needs Her Momma

This baby girl needs her momma. I'm coming sweet girl. I'm coming.

I long to see her smile in the worst way. Won't it be precious to see those chubby cheeks all scrunched up in a smile? Your joy will be restored soon enough and you will be with us forever.

Counting the Days...

Looking good to be traveling in 6-7 weeks if we get all our funds in order. Oh the thought of it makes me giddy with joy.

Happy 2nd Birthday Jill!

Happy Second Birthday Baby Girl! If only we could have had you here for your party. So many love you so much already and I simply can't wait for you to meet them. Missing you so much the last two days. This momma simply can't wait to be with you dear one. Can't wait to hug you, kiss you, and tell you I love you for the first time. Soon. Very Soon.

All My Love,

Mommy

So Many to Love

Thinking so much lately about how God has blessed me in this life with so many people who I love so very much! We have been doing life with this family since darling kiddo was born and they have been such a tremendous blessing to us that it is difficult to put into words what they mean to us. They were such a big part of raising darling kiddo up. Anyway, we don't always get to see each other much these days and it was so amazing to have these two young ladies in my house last night-playing games, eating food, and just spending time together. I had to snap a photo to share with you.

My-how they have grown into fine young women of God. My-how I miss being able to be a part of their lives more often. Still so very blessed by our time together last night.

Just for fun..here are these same three girls ten years ago at my house.

Gotta love looking back and you gotta love those blue and pink curtains in the background. (They really were fashionable then.) Hope you know the joy of so many to love. God is so good to allow us the blessing of relationships here on Earth. Praise Him!!

PS Thanks for praying..Letter arrived on Monday and is on its way to Guanghzou. I am one happy momma!! One step closer to getting our girl home.

Flowers for Jill

This morning at worship..I noticed the bulletin announcement: The altar flowers were given by (insert our names) in honor of their adopted daughter Jillian's second birthday. My dear man did this and didn't mention it to me. Tears welled up in my eyes. Tears because her daddy loves her so already and he thinks of her all the time. Tears because I really don't want to miss her second birthday. I want to be with her on Wednesday. I WANT HER HOME!! I WANT HER TO FEEL OUR LOVE AND IT STINKS THAT WE ARE STILL WAITING!! REALLY STINKS.. We are still waiting on the government to deliver the letter sent two weeks ago. It's holding us up considerably and it probably means that we won't be with her by Easter. God is sovereign. God has a plan, but right now it just hurts to miss her so much. Trusting God and the knowledge that He is planning for her to be united with us in just the right time. Though this momma is really wishing that the time was now!!

Please pray that the letter will arrive tomorrow. We need it to submit to the consulate in Guangzhou before we can begin the wait for travel approval. OH the waiting...

She's Growing Up

We finally did it. We shopped in the junior department because frankly darling kiddo is just too big for girls' sizes anymore. How did this happen? She is growing up-way too fast.


Here is her outfit of choice.....


She wore it to the athletic banquet at her school last night. Hard to believe that another year of sports is coming to an end. She will never play sixth grade basketball or volleyball ever again. Sad. But so happy that she is growing into the young woman that God has planned for her to be from the beginning of time. Resting in His sovereignty and grace as we prepare to enter the teenage years! YIKES!

Taking Her Hurt Away

I have to admit that my focus lately has been on Jill. I think about her all the time, miss her, read books to prepare to be her momma, watch every documentary I can get my hands, continue to set up her room, visit sites of other adoptive parents for advice, learn as much mandarin as I can.... You get the idea.

Sometimes I forget that my darling kiddo's life is about to be turned upside down. She is not an overly compassionate child by nature. She never played mommy and she does not enjoy hugs from many people other than me. She is almost as uncomfortable around babies as her daddy. Babies (classified by her as children under three) scare the living daylights out of her. They are unpredictable and she may loose herself to them as they have a way of capturing your heart. So because of this, she guards herself heavily around them. All of this said, bringing a new baby into our house where she has been the one and only is not going to be easy for her.

I have to admit..I worry. I worry that she will have difficulty finding her new place and embracing her new role once Jill gets here. Yesterday was a rough day for her as she had to sacrifice something that is really important to her because we will most likely be picking up her sister in China and miss out on the event. This was a realization for her that this is really happening and somethings in her life are never going to be the same. She was hurting and as she cried this momma just held her girl, who is almost bigger than I am by now, and prayed over her crying myself.

Why is it so painful to see your children hurt? I would give anything to take this pain from her..to make her experience of becoming a big sis-smooth, easy, pleasant, BUT it may not be. It may be hard, frustrating, and confusing. It may be that she will be hurt and have to readjust to a new kind of normal. I came across a verse in my Bible study this week that reminded me..though many things may not be easy-they will not harm you. This time in our lives is probably not going to be easy..BUT God promises to never leave us or forsake us AND that, my friends, is a promise that I am praying over my big girl as she walks this adventure alongside mommy and daddy into the unknown. Praying that my darling kiddo gets that today. Praying that she continues to learn to lean on Him through the hurting.