A Letter to My Girl on Her 4th Birthday

Dear Jillian,
Last night, I rocked and sang to you before laying you down to sleep like I always do, but last night was different.  Last night was the last time I would rock you as a three year old because when you woke up today..you were four.  I lingered long after you fell into a dead sleep snuggling you into my chest and kissing your sweet cheeks.  It was as if, as long as I held you, time could stand still and you would be three a bit longer.  It is hard to believe that these two years have passed so quickly.  It seems as if you have always been my daughter walking beside me.  Yet on the day of your birth..I can't help but feel a tinge of sadness at how little I know of this day.  As I held you last night, my tears fell over you.  I cried at all you have lost and how very much I have gained because of it.  I prayed for your birth mother knowing that this week must be difficult for her.  I thanked God for the plan He has for your life and for the way He has protected you and healed your heart in these first four years.  I prayed for you.  I prayed that you would come to know this God whom momma and daddy love and serve.  In one moment I was wishing that time could stand still and in the next I was wishing to see the future.  I don't know where these years will take you.  I don't know if you will ever find your voice to speak, but I know that I will do everything in my power to help you go as far as you are able.  I love you with a fierce momma love that is simply unexplainable and I am grateful to God for giving you to me.  I love taking care of you each day, rocking you to sleep at night, and watching you grow and blossom.  Some of your favorite things to do right now are spinning everything, singing, jumping, running, playing with your baby dolls, making music and most of all..bossing your daddy.  You love to involve him in all your games and to be in complete control of him.  He is a willing participant in this of course because he is crazy for you sweet one.  Today, you will have a cake in front of you, listen to us sing, and blow out four candles.  This day is one that may have never come without God's intervention in your life and so today..and everyday..I give thanks for His protection of you.  You are a treasure!  I love you with all my heart!  Happy 4th Birthday my sweet daughter!  You have changed my heart in ways I never dreamed!
With all my love,
Momma