Then and Now..

As I think of bringing home our Anna Mei, I have so many emotions.

I can't wait to have another sweet baby girl to call daughter.

I am over the moon excited to have another to lead in the ways of our Lord.

I look forward to so many things.

BUT..

there is also a great deal of fear and many questions and what ifs.

What if I can't care for two treasures with special needs?

What if I can't love them both as much as they need?

(I could go on and on.)

One thing I know is that this fear does not come from God.

And so..

when fear begins to grip my heart I remember.

I remember my first sweet treasure when she was first placed in my arms.

I remember her at 26 months.

15 pounds.

Unable to walk.

Unable to eat solid food.

Unwilling to be held, cuddled, or loved.

I remember her low assessment scores.

Speech skills at 2 months.

Cognitive skills at 6 months.

That was then..

And this, my friends, is now...

She is vibrant, full of life.

She is signing up a storm, eating and chewing, and loves all attention to be on her at all times.

She loves, cuddles, and enjoys so many things.

She is a gifted climber, can run so fast, and takes apart everything.

She is a precious, valuable gift!

   

I wouldn't change a minute of this crazy, hard journey to our first adopted treasure.

Jillian is a miracle and she has come so far.

She is not a typical kid, but one who will likely always have challenges as she faces daily life.

I have come to cherish her just as God has made her.

I give thanks that God has allowed me a part of watching her come as far as she has.

I look forward to the future and know that He has numbered every one of our days.

I trust Him.

He is faithful.

He has shown Himself mighty in my life.

He knows our Anna Mei.

He set her perfectly in our family and I trust Him with this adoption.

I will not fear!

I will lean on the one who made me and set this journey before me!

(Now..if I could just be patient with His timing to get to our newest girl home.)

"For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11