Pray

Sweet baby girl still has some pretty intense rages.  Usually, she is most upset when she wakes from her nap.  These episodes can be pretty ugly and last a good long while.  In the last two weeks, we have had some beautiful positive changes with our treasure and we are so hopeful that we are gaining ground in her heart.  She is pushing me away less and letting me comfort her more even in the midst of her anger.  Today, she woke and I knew she would ultimately end up melting down.  She did, in fact, scream, kick, and flail for a good while, but as she was collecting herself she came to me for rocking.  Then she said PRAY.  I did not understand her at first as she was still sobbing heavily so she repeated PRAY.  You see, I pray for my sweet girl as I sit next to her working through her grief during these times.  I pray aloud so she knows exactly what I am saying as I converse with my God on her behalf.  I give thanks for her life (even though I am often frustrated and afraid as I watch her), pray peace over her, and most often spend lots of time praying for God's healing where her little heart is concerned.  Today, today was the first day that my baby girl asked me to pray for her.  She wanted me to talk with God on her behalf.  There are so many things that are down right hard about parenting my beautiful treasures from China, but at the same time there are moments like this..that bring you to your knees because my baby girl at two knows where this momma's coming from.  She knows that ultimate healing and peace can only come through a relationship with a living God.  It is my prayer that I model that for her and that ultimately she grows to love Him as much as I do.  I believe He has never left her and that He knows every step she has taken.  He understands the pain in her heart and He has placed her right here and chosen me to help her heal.  Though I am broken and weak myself, God continues to give me wisdom and strength as I parent these girls and I am forever grateful for the privilege.