You have no idea that this very minute I am your momma. You have no idea that on a Saturday morning around 5:00 AM, at the end of August, I found this photograph of you in my email inbox. I have received hundreds of emails with faces just as valuable as yours, but yours was the one I knew God intended to be mine. Your alias in the database was wRen. When I saw it just before clicking on your file, my heart stopped for a moment because your name means so much. We were matched with your big sister Jillian, out of the thousands of children on China's list by our social worker at AGCI, and her name was Ren Ying in China. Nearly two years later, we were matched by CCAI with your big sister Anna Mei whose name was Jia Ren. When Daddy and I opened Anna Mei's file and saw that her name was Ren like Jillian's we were in awe! Dare I say that I have seen thousands of files on advocating sites and databases in the last three years as I have had my eyes open to the millions of children waiting for families, and I have never seen the name Ren except for the three times I have found my children...only God! The morning that I saw you and saw that you too were a wRen..you were seared in my heart. As soon as Daddy wandered into the kitchen from bed around 7:00, I showed him your face and your video. He watched your video and then went to use the restroom. You will find that, at times, I overwhelm your Daddy with my planning that early in the morning. I must have watched your video a hundred times on Saturday. I researched everything that I could so that I could know as much about you as possible. Then on Sunday morning, I packed your two sisters in the van-as Daddy and Em had gone to church early this week- and began driving the back road to worship when it happened. I saw you there. I saw you in our van sitting in your car seat next to your sister and that was it because I cried my heart out as I longed for you to be home as my daughter. It was a holiday weekend so we had to wait until Tuesday for the agency you were listed with to open. As soon as I could, I phoned them and was connected with even more details of your life and I wanted you so badly! I remember going to your Daddy after filling out papers and making doctors appointments for your paperwork and said..her name is wRen and she is ours! Do you doubt? Daddy knew you were ours too and so we began our journey to paper chase you. It has been nearly six weeks ago that I first saw your face and we have seen miracles already as we are fundraising to you. I love you so much already and am so excited to see how God will work through your life in the years to come. You are so very wanted and we just can't wait to have you home sleeping in a bunk bed underneath your very bossy, spunky big sister.
I am so looking forward to the moment you are in my arms..FOREVER!
Momma
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