I Must Be Crazy

 A few Fridays ago, I headed with the girls to the local Ch*nese New Year celebration that many adoptive families attend.  Daddy and Em had a bball game so I took them solo.
 Oh Yes I did!  
Not only did I take them solo, we enjoyed it.  Jillian had a bit of trouble eating in this new place (which is totally normal), but LOVED the fact that the balloons, after rubbing them on her head, would stick to the wall.  This provided hours of fun for her!  Anna Mei devoured the Ch*nese food, and spit out the Ch*nese candy as she forgot she didn't like it.  Then, she walked up to a group of girls she didn't know in the gym, and joined a game of tag without much prompting.  She was so proud of her new friends!  (This can't be the same girl I knew last year.  Homeschool has been so, so good for her as I have seen so much growth in her emotional well being and attachment.  Praise Jesus!)  Molly just wanted to be near momma sitting in my lap after giving up on following Anna Mei, but she was happy.
Sometimes it is still hard to believe that I can conquer a fraction of what I do given the girls special needs alone, but we can!  Most days, while still very, very busy, are so manageable.  Dare I say, they are even enjoyable.  We are doing just about everything most other families do at this stage in the game, and, after such a rocky start for our girls, it is just miraculous!

Which, I will admit, has led me to a teensy bit of what the heck am I thinking that I am going to Ch*na in sixish weeks for another...

Then, this morning I goosh to Daddy about all that our Molly has accomplished.  Seriously, you should see the girl color some adult coloring pages as her fine motor skills are spectacular!  I go on to tell Daddy that if that baby girl were left in Ch*na,well, I hate to think about what would have happened to her.  
Like a ton of bricks, my own selfishness about worrying and having anxiety because my own comfort is going to be on the back burner about six weeks from now seems down right petty.  So, I won't be sleeping again!  We won't be venturing out much.  We will be adding about a million medical appointments to an already tight schedule of them, but really should I not be willing to do anything to care for another child who desperately needs it?  I have seen, first hand, the unbelievable difference a loving family can make in the life of a child.  I am blessed beyond measure that God has allowed me the chance to call these three (soon four) my own, and that He would choose me again is beyond my comprehension as I am so under qualified, and selfish, but fortunately God's will is better than I deserve.

Hopefully, Lord willing, in sixish weeks, I will board a plane to a land I love beyond words to claim one more precious girl as our own.  If you are willing to be a part of writing her story, we are about half way to having our entire need met!  You can make a tax deductible donation here.