Seven Years Ago..Grieving For Her

Tomorrow my dear girl turns seven, and without fail I am up when everyone else is asleep mourning for the mother she will never know.  My girl's birthdays always bring with them thoughts of their belly mommas.  Was she laboring this night seven years ago?  Did she first look into the eyes of my baby girl at this very hour or was it much later?  When was it that she knew in her heart that she would have to say goodbye?  Does she think about her everyday, but especially does her heart break on this day for the girl she will likely never know?  This girl who is the one of the most special gifts given to me by a God who ordained this story for her.  On this night, I wrestle through so much..so many questions unanswered that I will likely never get to ask.  Pieces of my dear daughter's story that will always be missing, and it grieves me.  I cry at the brokenness of it all, and cling to the promise that God uses all things for the good of those who love him.  My baby girl loves Him so, and for that I am grateful because I know that He will use her story..and those many parts of it that will never be revealed to us on this Earth..for His good somehow.  Grateful for the moments that I stand beside her treasuring each and every one in my heart, and so thankful for the woman who held her before I did.  The dear momma whose face likely matches that of my treasured daughter.  I pray that somehow she has God's peace on this night, and that, by some miracle, we will meet one day so that I can thank her for sharing her girl with me.