There I was digging under the Christmas tree. Looking through the packages for the ones we needed to pack up for our first family Christmas function of the season. Suddenly, I came upon it. I put it there. It shouldn't have struck me so. It was the little gold package without a bow. The one whose tag read: to Jill from Mommy, Daddy, and Emily. Tears instantly welled up in my eyes and I began to wonder what my little girl was feeling this Christmas so far away from her mommy and daddy. Oh the waiting is so hard and at times I am filled with more sadness than I think I can bare. Still, the fact that I can miss someone so much that I don't even know is just so supernatural that I wouldn't miss this pain for the world. I know that when I finally hold her in my arms, I will have just a glimpse of what it must feel like when God welcomes one of His precious children home.
I was thinking after I saw the package what God must have felt like that first Christmas sending his son from the comforts of heaven to this Earth knowing what he would have to endure. I was thinking about the fact that God was separating from his son for a little more than thirty years-all the while knowing that in order to have him join him again, he would have to endure a horrific death on the cross...a death so painful, so brutal. A death so necessary so that many more of his children, us, would be able to join him one day too. I am so very thankful for God's sacrifice and that I can have the chance to be in relationship with Him who made me! Just I anticipate Jillian coming home, I look forward to the moment that God welcomes me home-to live beside him for eternity!
I am thankful too for this adoption journey-full of joy, trials, and tears- as it is allowing me to see my God all the more clearly. Pray for my little girl and the many who are spending this Christmas without a mommy and daddy. My little girl has somebody coming for her, but so many don't.
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