Yesterday I took my angel upstairs to lay her down for her nap. It was 1:00 like always when we made our way up the stairs to her room. I follow the same routine everyday. I change her diaper, lay her down, and rock beside her bed until she falls asleep. Usually, she goes to sleep very quickly. Not yesterday.. Yesterday, as I sat rocking doing my Bible study in her room that little peanut was sitting up looking me right in the eye and wearing a wide smile as she did it. Yesterday was a battle. I couldn't help, but smile to myself though because she gave me her eyes in those moments. She looked right into me as if to say...I'm not going to sleep.
I wrote this in the margin of my Bible study workbook..
I praise you God for this precious girl. I thank you above all else that it is my eyes that she is staring into right now instead of going to sleep. Thank you Lord that I'm not missing this. Thank you for the gift of these moments..each and every one!
I am so blessed to be home with her. So blessed to be the one to put her down each day even when putting her down for a nap is a battle. I was thinking today that autism has given me this blessed gift..pushed us over the edge of letting go of our American Dream and demanded that I stay home. Autism in that sense has been an incredible blessing as it has given me the desire of my heart..to stay at home to care for my family. God has used autism..though it seems like a trial...for good in our family's life already. I know He will continue to do that and much glory will be brought to His name through our Jillian's life.
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