That God would allow me a part of the joy that is this baby girl is, at times, incomprehensible.
Last night was one of those times...
Em and I walked with Jillian in the wagon to the riverfront splash park. She splashed in the water and squealed with JOY at the top of her lungs for the hour we were there. She made me-and all of the others there-smile with delight.
It is during these times that I just can't help, but rejoice at the fact that God has allowed this baby girl's redemption and that I get to watch! It is during these times that I stop and reflect on this journey and how very far she has come. I also remember how very far I have come and how very much I love this little, Ch*nese baby. Last night as the sun was getting lower and lower in the sky and she was splashing away, I was praising the Lord with all my heart that He brought her to me (to us) because I truly can't even begin to imagine my life without her in it. I am so very, truly blessed and grateful that God has given me this little to love as my own.
I am so undeserving and yet He has given me the blessing of being her momma. I just can't get over it. I just can't wrap my mind around the goodness of God and His plan, but it is something that I hide away in my heart and treasure! If I hadn't trusted Him and jumped off into this crazy, I would've missed this. If I had just stayed comfortably living within myself-thinking that coming up with so much money to adopt was surely impossible-I wouldn't have been there with her squealing last night. I wouldn't have her to love on in the morning. I have said no so many times, to so many things, and often wonder now what joy and blessing I have missed out on because I didn't have faith that God could do the impossible.
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