With Everything in Me

I decided to start my four year old treasure in a public school special education program.  I have never had a peace about having my sweet girl with autism away from me.  I have never visited a program, met with a team, and had the feeling I did last week when I met with this team of ladies.  Truly, this place has much, much to offer her.   Still, this morning when I drove by her new school during drop off to get a feel for the traffic pattern and what will work best to get my precious treasure in with as much ease as possible...I just wanted to keep driving as far away from there as I could.  With everything in me, I just want to keep this baby girl safe, protected, and with me at all times.  I cried big, ugly tears as I sped away from that place and I have no idea how in the world I will leave her there tomorrow without the supernatural strength of the Lord who gave me this baby and knows His plans for her.  I trust Him with her and I know that she belongs to Him, but with her history and everything she has been through I have an intense LOVE for her.  She is hard-very hard-to care for and requires so much patience and unconditional love that I have been hesitant to trust anyone else with her, but I am at a place that I really feel like it is time to give it a try. So, with much prayer and a big dose of HOPE I am sending her off in the morning.  YIKES!  Typing that makes me want to run away with her as fast as I can. :)