A JOY so BIG

I just spent two hours in the warm sunshine at the park with my little girls.  I climbed, slid, dug, swung, ran, and laughed until my body aches.  (A reminder I am not so young these days. :) I also did a bit of sitting and just watching.  Watching my girls playing still takes my breath away.  I remembered today the five months of going to the park everyday with Jillian when I first brought her home. I remembered walking the same path. every. single. day in silence praying she would have some sort of break through.  I remember coaxing, carrying, being led, eventually swinging her on my lap, and finally going down a small slide after five long months of praying.  To see her today, climbing up the three story structure, running around carefree, enjoying a picnic, digging in the sand, and throwing rocks..it is almost inconceivable that she was so broken.  It is almost forgettable those five months of coaxing and those fifteen hard months as she learned to trust me.  In addition to the hard of those months, I remembered the closeness of my Lord and the purpose He whispered to my heart as I learned to be this little one's momma in those first months home.  Each season of this adoption journey has been such a blessing, but today..today watching them gave me the biggest JOY.  These are the moments in life that I simply turn my face to heaven and say..really Lord?  really?  Are these precious, amazing, little treasures running to me calling momma?  That the Lord should bless me so with these beauties is truly beyond my comprehension.  That I get to be the one holding Anna Mei up as she triumphantly conquers the high ladder leading to the biggest slide still baffles me.  That I am the one that Jillian needs when she signs "momma" and "help" brings me more JOY than my heart can stand most days.  In these moments of JOY, I smile and think of Molly Kate imagining all that she will add to our family.  I simply can't wait for the moment I can hold her the first time and begin this adventure together.  God has been so abundantly good to allow me the privilege of caring for these children.  My prayer is that I never forget the JOY of today as the hard will come and go, but the JOY of this journey is eternal because the Lord is in it!