The Exercise Ball..Lessons Learned

A few hours ago, I was in the laundry room tackling the mountains of dirty clothes that come with a family of seven.  Outside the door is our family and playroom.  The door was open as I tediously complained in my mind about all this work, and outside the door as I was folding I could hear my Jillian.  I could hear her laughing, and bouncing the giant exercise ball.  I could hear her drumming the same huge ball with her favorite sticks, and my heart stopped complaining because I couldn't help praising Him for the miracle this girl is to us.  Seven years ago when I was handed this baby girl, she could not be near a ball.  Before entering any therapy room, gym, or classroom, I would have to make sure that all balls were well hidden because they TERRIFIED her.  She would refuse to go into any room at Easter Seals for therapy if those balls were hanging on the wall, and, not only that, she would often meltdown for hours..heck the entire day.. at just the sight of a ball.  Hear this fellow adoptive mommas, some of you are walking this hard right now.  Life is so upside down with so many circumstances out of your control, and you're weary.  Sometimes, it seems hopeless.  You love and love..give and give.. and yet you can't fix it.  You hold bodies in the night of your children as they revolt against you with no promise that they will ever allow you to comfort them...that they will ever love you back.  You walk down medical corridors everyday giving up time with your others while you sacrifice for this one that you have chosen to love from hard places.  You can't remember who you were before this started, and you honestly don't know who you will be when this all settles.  I get it so much, and, if I could sit across from you right now sharing hot tea, I would say miracles happen.  Love grows, and one day you will look back at this time seeing the work of God so clearly that you might just be thankful for it.  Thankful that God walked you through this hard, and for the love that grows through it.  Back then, I would have never dreamed that seven years later my little girl would play basketball with her Daddy, love PE, or tell us how much she loves us.  Heck, I couldn't let myself hope that she would ever communicate at all back then. Yet, here she is standing outside my laundry room door..whole..healed beyond my wildest dreams living life to the fullest, and bringing so much glory to the God who created her that I can't help, but praise.  Don't lose hope.  God knows you if you trust Him.  He sees your trouble, and He is good.

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who trust him.  Nahum 1:7