To Jillian on Her Ninth Birthday...

Sweet, dear girl,
When I was waiting for you to come home to me, I dreamed of the day you would be next to me cooking in the kitchen.  Then you were home, and so broken that I never believed the day that you would love to cook next to me would come, but it has.  I marvel each and every day at how far God has brought you.  Your heart is healed beyond what I could have ever let myself hope in that first year that I had you home as mine.  Because you love cooking so much, we had a cooking party to celebrate you on your ninth birthday with blue and yellow because that is what you insisted on.  We kept our guest list small this year as the only person you requested be there was your Miss Debbie.  How I love the way that you love her.   That you can love so deeply is another miracle that could only come from the Lord as I am reminded of the prognosis given to me by many those first few months home..you would never trust, never love, never know I was your mother...how wrong they were as you are so connected and loving considering your start.  I have watched your ability to communicate grow so much this last year!  You know hundreds of signs, and are getting much more fluent than I am.  What a dream come true that you can communicate all your are thinking as this helps alleviate your anxiety so much.  You continue to amaze me with all you can spell on your talker, and you have grown very attached to your "sticks" this year drumming many rhythms everywhere we go.  You also continue to love books, or their characters, very much.  This year, you have become attached to Mooseltoe and Cat in the Hat, but also still hold tight to your old favorites, Splat the Cat and Pete the Cat.  You are comfortable just about everywhere.  We can go on out to eat, to the mall, on field trips, to church..and you are able to function.  This is HUGE for you.  No longer are we on high alert looking for any sensory triggers that might set you off.  You have such an understanding of how to regulate yourself, and it has opened up so many more worlds for you!  You have been particularly happy this year to have a giant mud pit in the backyard (somethings never change), to get a "high" (bunk) bed, to have new paint on your walls in dark blue as you requested, and to spend hours in the water swimming or bathing!  You have taken on chores around the house and are really so helpful.  When we go downtown to serve a meal to the homeless, you are quite good at setting out the salt and peppers before dinner, and collecting them after.  You make me so proud each and every day.  I can't imagine life without you nor can I imagine that I could love you any more.  Yet, each year I do! Happy 9th birthday, my amazing girl!  I am ever so happy that God called me to you nearly seven years ago as having you as mine is one of my life's greatest blessings!
All my love,
Momma