When They Are Really With You..Oh the Joy!

Sitting on the floor today in the small speech room that has become our home on Wednesdays for the thirty minutes we work at the clinic, I was overcome with emotion.  When you parent a babe with special needs from hard places with spectrum tendencies, you regularly face challenges, expect to have to work to connect to them, and fight for their heart.  You, as a parent, get it, and come to cherish the moments that you get when your babe is fully engaged and enjoying their time with you.  There are really no words to describe what it is like to have your daughter looking in your eyes and being present in the moment with you.   Today was one of those days, and our dear therapist said it.... "What a JOY to have you here with me today."  And...it got me thinking that most people live their entire lives and they don't get it. 

They don't get the JOY in the pursuit of these precious, special needs little ones.  They don't see the value, the wonder, or the purpose in the lives of these dear, atypical children. We have been so blessed to find so many like minded, wonderful professionals, who like us, get it.  They pursue our babes, enjoy being with them, cherish them, and love them every moment, but today was the moment you live for.  My dear girl played with her sweet therapist for thirty minutes today, and her therapist ate her up.  There are those who would say that we should genetically test all fetus, and end the lives of those whose genes are not perfect.  There are those who would shutter to think about being given a daughter with the challenges that most of mine have, but then there are those precious, amazing people who know just how fearfully and wonderfully made my babes are and who are willing to do anything to make them smile. 

Today, we saw the smiles, and, while tomorrow she may once again be more interested in her hands than the bubbles and play, we will cherish these things in our heart.  Today, we saw the haze lifted from her eyes, and we just loved it!

Gotcha Three Years Ago

Three years home!  WAHOO!!!

Our Amazing Molly wanted spaghetti for her special dinner as it is her favorite food right now.

Who can get over how cute it is when a little one sucks up spaghetti?

Happy Three Years Home Precious Girl! 

We LOVE you!

Nothing This Side of Heaven...

Nothing this side of heaven....
like holding a swaddled, sleeping baby.  My girl may be nearing four years old, but the only way she will nap is being swaddled while rocking with her Momma.  I am happy to oblige as she missed out on many afternoons rocking with me since I didn't welcome her home until she was 2 1/2.  Precious Girl..What a blessing to hold this dear one!

Three Years Home

It is hard to remember what it was like three years ago without this precious treasure sitting at our table.  What a tremendous blessing this girl has been.  She has her Gotcha Day the same month as her birthday which is hard for a girl who has been waiting her turn as her three sisters celebrated their days in April.  She was thrilled her day was here.  She carried the calendar icon of momma getting her around all month waiting until the 25th.  She requested ice cream instead of cake so we whipped up some homemade vanilla and put her favorite M and M's on top.  She was pleased!  We couldn't love this very special girl..our Amazing Molly...any more!  She is one incredible, fun loving daughter who has added so very much to our family in the last three years.  Just look at that face...She is always smiling..always quick to love..always silly...just a pure JOY to be around.  We love you Molly and are grateful to be your family!

This morning I walked past the bedroom of my daughters and peeked in at the bunk beds.  I watched my precious just turned five year old sleep for a minute and I let the reality wash over me that if I had followed my plans... I would be long done caring for babies by now.   I wouldn't know the tenderness of watching this little one sleep so peacefully.  I wouldn't have handmade cards waiting at the table with elementary sized print declaring their love for me..their mom.  I wouldn't hear their proud voices or silly giggles as they made breakfast for me all by themselves.  I wouldn't know the light in their eyes when they delivered said breakfast to the table complete with a fruit sculpture of my smiling face.  I wouldn't know the snuggles, the hugs, the stacks of muddy laundry, the sweet sound of praise songs being shouted at the top of their lungs, the whispered prayers complete with mispronunciations and such faith....I wouldn't know and man that I could have missed this rocks me to the core each and every time I consider it.  This life is hard, caring for all these babes with their medical and emotional needs is very much beyond my ability, but it is so very good.  So much better than anything I could have dreamed up to do with these years myself because God has made this amazing family for me to care for.  Out of brokenness and deep despair, He has brought these beautiful children to me to call my own, to teach about Him, and to simply enjoy.  I can't let myself imagine what it would be like if I had said no because frankly my heart hurts at that thought of not knowing and loving these incredible little people who are, by some miracle, mine to raise up in this season.  Just last night, my Molly was reading 1 John 4:19 on the wall in our living room as it sits among our family photos, and it is so true.  I love because He first loved me.  I know the depths of this love for my girls because I have been loved incredibly and unconditionally by a Savior who has blessed me with this life.  I will never deserve it.  I will never earn it, but in my sinfulness, He invited me to join Him in this anyway.  Such deep beauty.  Such overwhelming love.  It is my prayer that this Mother's Day you, too, know this love and that you enjoy being with the ones that God has allowed you to "mother".  Give thanks that He has equipped you to be exactly who they need you to be, and that you can live out life alongside them.  Happy Mother's Day.

Rainbows for a Five Year Old

My Molly’s Fifth Birthday called for a rainbow celebration as she is crazy for rainbows right now.  We were happy to gather our tribe of faithful friends to celebrate our girl together.

We played a rainbow race where we used straws to blow fruit loops in the rainbow color order on the floor.

We also played pin the cloud on the rainbow.

The grand finale was the cake o’ Artficial colors as I coined it because it was rainbow batter with rainbow candy decorations.  It made my little peanut quite happy!

What a true joy to join our friends to celebrate our amazing daughter.  Oh that five would last forever as that face is precious!  After this day, I am especially thankful for those we love who love our girl and gather with us to celebrate her!

Five Years Old

To My Dearest Baby Girl on Her Fifth Birthday,
Sweet, sweet Molly..there are really no words for the absolute JOY you bring into our lives everyday.  From the beginning, you have been so full of love for us, and we absolutely adore you!  You have grown up so much this year, but still spend lots of time asking if you are still my baby.  I assure you that you will always be my baby!  You continue to be a jokester whose silliness has us laughing all day long.  You love your sister, Anna Mei ,fiercely as she is your favorite playmate and best friend.  You never pass up a chance to snuggle with Emily, can't wait to have everyone at home together, greet your Daddy with the biggest love, and are so excited to be a big sister again!  You can read well, and love doing it.  You often spend a good deal of time every night reading to us from your sight word readers!  You are so proud to be able to do it.  You also love writing and spelling!  For ninety minutes, you used your talker the other day to find words to categorize by beginning sound in the new journal I bought you.  When you found octagon to record on the "o" page, you were ecstatic!  You Love all things learning for sure!  You can now pedal your bike all the way around the block faster than your sisters, and run the whole time you are out jogging with Daddy.  You are such an athlete!  Recently, you received your first love letter in the mail from a boy in your preschool class.  Daddy did not think this was near as cute as mommy did when I read it.  You seem to be keeping your options open though as you have new friends you love everyday that you come home.   Everyday you are full of life!   You never stop going, and require much less sleep than our other girls.
You have the latest bedtime as you just don't need to go to sleep as early as the other girls.  If we put you down at *:00, we often find you up playing in your kitchen in the dark bedroom hours later.  You enjoy being up later so much as each night at bedtime you ask..Molly stay up?...and we like the extra snuggles with you too.  You amaze us at all you can do, and you continue to surprise everyone around you!  I can't wait to homeschool you in Kindergarten next year, and watch how your mind grows!  I love, love, love you with all my heart!  You are just a GREAT JOY and wonderful kid!

Happy fifth birthday my big girl!
Momma