Missing Something

Each time that I come to a new place with God, I feel like such an idiot that I could have been missing something so big all this time. I feel that way about the orphan. I feel like I have been walking with God for far too many years with my eyes closed to His purpose in my life regarding the fatherless. Then all of a sudden, I surrender to God's will for my heart and I can't escape this feeling of having missed so much by not getting this all along. My heart breaks watching videos of starving children, children without homes, children with an empty look in their eyes-all the while enjoying this nice, neat, warm family..Yet pitifully, I have spent so many of my believing years doing absolutely nothing to make a difference. In spite of this, God has blessed me so much on this journey and He continues to challenge me. Challenge me, in ways I never imagined, to surrender my life to His purposes. I don't really know what that looks like or how it will be accomplished yet. I know that at times, I will fail miserably and without a doubt there will be trials and I will fall short. The only thing that I know for sure is I want to stop wasting my breath being about me and this American dream. I want to be about doing God's will..when it hurts, when it's hard, when others call you crazy, when it doesn't make sense.. I just want live out this life like I am a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. Oh that his splendor might be displayed all over my life and that I might desire above all else to look into the face of my Savior at the end of my life and hear well done my good and faithful servant!