Jillian's Swingset

Daddy built Jillian's swing set in the backyard today! Oh I hope I remember the first time she saw it for the rest of my days. I hope I never forget the sweet sound of her voice calling out with glee! I hope I remember those chunky,little legs dragging me swiftly to the swing and that face! Oh that sweet face as I told her that Daddy built that swing set for her and that it was hers was priceless. I have been thinking all day that this little one shouldn't even have a swing set. Satan would love nothing more than for this little treasure to still be sitting alone fatherless, but GOD! God had plans for this baby girl that trumped all Satan hoped for and she is so overjoyed by this wonderful gift from her grandma! HAPPY! She went right up to it and climbed on without any hesitation!

Watch the movie clips of her playing on this sweet set at the top! She is so cute calling out with her little voice..I could just eat her up!

PS Momma's setting up her new sandbox from her Grandma tomorrow so stay tuned for more firsts and plenty of pictures!!

Weary

We've had some down swings in the last six weeks and at times y'all I am weary. Weary at the thought of battling meltdowns every time we get in the car. Weary of working through meltdowns every time we enter the store again. Weary of fighting through meltdowns for thirty minutes during therapy. I got to be honest and say I've been up nights some lately. I keep wondering how I can do this. How will I carry her thrashing meltdown self and force her into the car when she gets bigger? How long will I patiently be able to sing her through thirty minutes of sensory overload screaming in rebellion at therapy? How long can I keep it up?

As I think about all of this it's God who answers loud and clear..

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28

The truth is..I haven't been coming to Him enough. I haven't being filling up on His word and I have let my eyes fall from who He is in me. I need to constantly remind myself that I am not called to do any of this alone. I am only called to come to Him and surrender my life. Reminding myself of that today and filling myself up on His Word because it sustains me in the darkest of times. Praising God that He has allowed me to know Him today. Praising Him that He continues to draw me closer to Him through this journey and that somehow He feels I am worthy of mothering such a special treasure.

JOY

For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work; at the works of your hands I sing for joy. Psalms 92:4

What a marvelous work of the Lord is this precious treasure with her face scrunched in the sun.

A beautiful work of the Lord is this little one walking hand and hand with her daddy

and resting safely in his arms.

A miraculous work is this family created by God. It is so good it makes me glad.

How wonderful to see this little work of God playing so carefreely..

Climbing..

Sliding...

Taking on the GIANT slide!

Resting in knowing that she is a marvelous work of the Lord indeed!

I will sing His praises all my days that He made her to be my daughter.

Nothing makes this momma happier than a beautiful morning at the park with her family.

Can you tell?

Truly Blessed.

The Giant Slide, Suspension Bridge, and Ladders..OH MY!

We have enjoyed this beautiful, summer like weather so much the last couple of weeks!

We have spent so much time outside. We have been going to the park everyday and on Wednesday my treasure finally went for it on the playground. She climbed up the ladders and explored the large, high play areas and even went down the giant, steep slide. She ran all around the maze of a playground that we have suspended high above the wood chips and didn't even let the suspension bridge slow her down. She has been really anxious again about going out in the last few weeks so on Wednesday I was thrilled that she conquered so much!

She has loved exploring the backyard again too..

She loves picking up sticks and digging with them.

Looking up at and feeling the bark on her favorite tree is a nightly activity for us now.

And she was especially excited about the reappearance of her water table and toys in the backyard. We have been living outside.

She is one happy girl.

Truly this weather is too good to last, but we are enjoying ever minute! Hope you are too!

One Of Those Days

Today is one of those days that I just can't help but think..(Is this really my life?)...

The sound of the birds are drifting through the open windows upstairs and my sweet treasure sleeps peacefully on her bed while I read my book rocking next to her..

AND

JOY resides in my heart!

I am able to be home doing laundry, playing with my girl, and soaking in the beautiful sunshine.

God you are simply too good for words to describe today!

How I love you!

How I continue to be in awe that you have blessed me with this wonderful life.

A loving man, two amazing daughters, a saving knowledge of my Lord and Savior..

So sweet and so satisfying...

I have so much to do today.

Yet I simply must savor this moment.

I stand in Awe of you..your provision..your grace..your plan..SO blessed to call you MY God.

You have truly rescued me from the pit Lord and I will spend the rest of my days praising you.

Your Finding Day

Dear Jillian,
Today I can't stop thinking of her as I look at you. March 14th..today is your finding day. Your finding day means that today is the day that your birth mother made the ultimate sacrifice in hopes that you would be better cared for. I don't know the circumstances she must have faced. I can't even begin to imagine the feelings that she must have had holding you in her arms for the last time. She had five days with you and I know that those days must be treasured in her heart. I pray that somehow she knows that you are loved and taken care of. I pray that she has somehow been given peace in her heart and that when she thinks of you she smiles remembering you as the little one who slept in her arms and nursed at her breast. I can't begin to imagine the pain that must also reside in her heart everyday because of the absence of you. I am forever grateful that she lovingly decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and that her unselfish gift led you to me. I am broken that we may never know her, but I hope that she knows Jesus and that someday we will be together in eternity embracing and praising God who orchestrated this story just as it is..I love her though I don't know her because she is a huge part of you. And now because of the miracle of this journey, you -my treasure-are a huge part of me and for that I am forever grateful to her.

Look at Her Go..

One of the best things about being my baby's teacher and her momma is that nobody cheers her on as enthusiastically I as do. She has taken off this week. We just started "instruction" using this peg board in the video this week. In six days, she has mastered it. She can sort them out-all 15 of them- and put them on the correct peg every time without any help from me. It's incredible how fast she picked up on this skill. She is a little anxious in this video because I am using the camera. She usually claps for herself after every peg and makes everyone in the room praise her for her work. Next week, I will change up the sorting and see if she can generalize the skill to a new task.

See for yourself..



She has also mastered the two puzzles we have been working on. So, I wanted to see if she could generalize the skill of putting pieces in a puzzle that she has never seen before and get it right. If she could do it, it meant that she is likely matching the piece to the picture behind it in the opening. So, I used some of her birthday money to buy her this new blue puzzle. She has never seen it before I took this video. I gave it to her with all of the pieces out in front of the base and she did it! She instantly put the pieces over their matching pictures and into the correct spot. Just a short time ago, she had no clue what to do with a puzzle. She was more interested in looking at the back of the board or banging the pieces together..BUT now she is working them by herself.

Check her out..


She has endless potential my baby girl and momma is going to drag these skills out of her each day! I am so lucky to get to be home with her and teach her myself. I am not taking a minute of these accomplishments for granted.

Her Day..

Her first family birthday celebration..

turning three years old.

Time has gone by so fast since Gotcha Day ten months ago.

Look at that smile.

Seems like she could get used to having birthdays.

Look at those candles..

Ready, Set, Blow..

I think she was wondering..What is this thing?

She did amazingly well with the gifts. Grandma put them all in one bag and she reached in and grabbed them all out. She had lots of stuff in that giant bag and she wasn't a bit afraid of all her new stuff. This is such wonderful news as Christmas was rough for her because of all the new things around her. Today she seemed to enjoy Grandma and Uncle A's gifts to her.

Her favorite gift was a watering can. She is carrying that thing everywhere.

Another highlight of the day for her was playing on Uncle Anthony's walker. He's done with it after his foot surgery and it now resides in our living room as Jillian's personal jungle gym.

She is overjoyed about this and won't let anyone else near it. She's been waiting for Uncle A to finish with it and now finally it's all hers.
Look at this cool watering can!

I made her this little birthday outfit. I tried my hand at applique.

She really had an incredible day.

She is such a joy and we are so blessed to have her home this year.

Happy Birthday Dear Jillian.

You are one amazing little treasure.

Her First Birthday

I have a wide range of emotions today. I have cried already..happy tears as I watch my baby girl accomplishing so much as we are sorting pegs this morning. I have jumped for joy and sung to her as she was waking up with a chubby yawn and her thumb in her mouth. I have felt a sense of urgency as I mixed her cupcakes and got them in to bake. I have felt mystified at God's great plan and that I am preparing for this day at all.

Why is today so emotional? Today..Today is her birthday. Today is her first birthday though she is turning three. The first birthday that she matters. The first birthday she is home with a family who is crazy in love with her. Oh to be able to put into words all that is in my heart seems beyond my reach this morning. Just a short year ago this little one was a number among 147 million. An orphan. BUT today..today she is a birthday princess. A three year old who is treasured..who has a cake lovingly prepared by her momma waiting..who has a sister to sing her happy birthday..who has a daddy to video it all..who has grandparents to buy her gifts..and a place where she belongs. Beautiful that God has let this happen to us. Even more beautiful that I get to enjoy it.

From Snow to 70..In two days?

This was Sunday evening..

Snowing like December in March..

The big sis had a negative attitude about this photo shoot. Looks like she's enjoying herself though. She loves her sister..truly she does love her sister.

Where did this stuff come from?

This is Tuesday....
Sunny, windy, and warm.
Near 70 degrees.
Notice the spring jacket.
Jillian transitioned easily to a different coat today!
YEAH!!

She is noticing so much more. She is even motioning toward things like the geese and the water.

She would love to dive right in.

Look at her going down the slide by herself! By herself?

I never dreamed that after five months of coaxing..she would be doing it by herself.

She even sits at the top without any help and gets ready for me to watch her.

She looks so grown in her 3T coat. She wore only 12 mos just 10 months ago when we brought her home. AMAZING how she has grown. She loves the fresh air and the wind so much!

70 degrees was a wonderful surprise and a good reason to visit the park indeed! There is nothing better in this world than a morning at the park with my baby girl!

Great News

In less than a few days, my sweet treasure will turn three. Turning three means loosing lots of therapy services. Services that have supported us and helped her grow so much. Currently, she gets about 120 minutes of therapy a week and I am grateful. After next week, she will get about 30 minutes a week. School districts are about school not therapy and so switching from EI to school means lost services. I get that. Because of this, I have also continued to be extremely thankful for the fact that I have so much experience in this field. I do have some knowledge about what to do with her and how. I have logged my share fair of clinical hours treating lots of treasures with the same diagnosis and as a result I have designed home programing for her that is helping her grow. I love being my baby's number one ally. Still, the reduction of services is not something that I want to happen. Yet, it has seemed inevitable this week as I have filled out paperwork, made phone calls, and contacted anyone I could think of to try to find some supplements for her therapy services. Everywhere I turned the door was slammed in my face so to speak. Still, I have to admit..I haven't really been worried. I can't deny that God's hand is on this baby's life and I felt Him whisper to my heart several times this week..you are enough because you have ME! I continued to search for help and have gone down several roads, but have not felt desperate or panicked for one minute.

AND TODAY..today I got a call from Easter Seals that said they have agreed to keep seeing my baby girl. She is going to get to continue with the amazing therapists that she has had in EI for the last nine months. She is going to get to continue in the first place that has been so important to her progress. I am praising God for this turn of events and for the way He has never left this precious girl's side. He is in control of each and every one of her days. I can rest in knowing that. I can rest in knowing that each of her days, each moment of progress, all of it is written in His book already. WHEW! So glad that His plans for her include staying on at Easter Seals a while longer...I just know it is important for her and can't wait to see where the next nine months take us. Praising God today for this good news and for this precious little life He has given us.

I'd Choose You

My Sweet Girl,

If God lined up all the babies born on March 9, 2009 in China and told me that I could choose..I would choose you again and again and again. So blessed that you are mine. So blessed to have a front row seat as God breaks through all those walls in your heart and restores you little by little. I love being your momma. Though I don't deserve for one minute the gift of you..I accept it and treasure you praising God for His goodness each and every day! As I pray over you each night, I know that God has a plan for you that is beyond my wildest dreams and that your life sweet girl, and my part in it, is meant to bring much glory to Him who made us both and brought us together. I never grow tired of seeing that smile, hearing you laugh, or watching the sparkle that is now present in your eyes. Treasured. You are treasured.

Basketball Awards

Hard to believe my baby has finished her seventh grade basketball season. She is so grown. There are days, many days, that it breaks this momma's heart to see her so grown. I long to just sit a while and savor this time as I know she will be gone from us all too soon. What an amazing young woman she is growing into and one that this momma is so proud of.

She had a very successful season and was recognized at the sports banquet on Friday. She was the team's leading scorer and considering the kid couldn't even dribble the ball when she started playing at the ripe old age of three..she's come along way. Her daddy is so happy to coach her team and is so proud of her too!

Jillian even made it through the awards ceremony so I got to see the presentation. As soon as her daddy went to the podium she was alert and listening cause that was her daddy's voice up there. When he called Emily's name to come up for her award, Jillian shouted out and embarrassed Em. Jill knew that was her sister's name and that she was walking up front. It was her way of saying WAY TO GO SISSY! YOU ROCK!! You do rock as a bball player and big sis! Love you my big girl! Love you oh so much!