I Love Having a Baby Sister

One thing that has taken me by surprise this time around is just how much my Anna Mei needed this baby sister.  My sweet four year old has much, much healing to do herself even two years after gotcha day.  She is haunted in her sleep often by memories and her emotions are powerful, even out of control, at times.  She struggles a lot much of the time.  She still rages, fights for control, and resists love like nobody's business.  But, this sweet baby has brought much healing to her new sister's heart in the last three weeks. Anna Mei has cuddled, fed, rocked along with me, and loved, LOVED this sweet baby sister.  Last night as we were walking to the park, she said, "Momma, I love having a baby sister!"  I said, "I know you do baby." with tears in my eyes.  This baby girl has helped my Anna Mei see herself.  She has helped her see me, as a momma, through a different lens.  Anna has kissed me more, asked many, many questions about her China life, and slept through some of her nightmares in the last three weeks since welcoming this beautiful, smiling girl into our home.  Anna Mei has bee able to feel love and compassion like she never has when she cares for this girl of ours.  It is beautiful, and reminds me of God's goodness because truthfully Anna Mei's struggles could have kept us from saying yes to adopting again.  She is still a handful.  We still have many, many sleepless nights, time ins, and prayers on a regular basis for her heart's healing and her finding her place within our family.  I am grateful to God that I didn't let these circumstances keep me from saying yes again to the blessing that this baby has been to all of us.  She is a precious, precious gift that I could have easily missed had I not trusted that God intended her to be in our family.  This morning I am so very, very thankful for her and that God has allowed us a small part of who she will become because having my girls together makes my heart overflow with JOY!