Today

At the park today, all the emotion of my being gone for the last seventeen days, and finally returning home hit my nonverbal treasure.  A blister set her off in deep sobbing tears, and I took her in my arms to rock her against my chest right there on the park bench.  The loss of a momma is very real for her, and when I am I not here it hurts her deep.  When I returned to her yesterday, she came running down the stairs smiling so big signing "momma, momma home"!  It burst my heart wide open.  Still today when I was comforting her, the sadness she felt in my absence came back, and sitting there sobbing those big sobs was her way of telling me how much it hurt her heart to be without me.  I held her a long time there on the bench singing to her, and saying I was so sorry I had to leave for so long.  I was reassuring her that I loved her, and missed her every bit as much as she did me.  Then, I turned to look over my shoulder to check on my man who was playing with our other two girls as I was giving Jillian some one on one time.  As I turned, I saw my man walking toward me with our newest treasure's crooked little hand in his.  Once again, JOY indescribable flooded my heart.  For two years, our Molly Kate hasn't known the hand of a father, but in an instant my man took that role.  I have watched him all day sitting with her, holding her, and playing.  I have heard him saying beautiful, you are safe, daddy loves you, and daddy's got you again and again.  I have seen this man, whom I love more than any other earthly being, take this stranger on as his own and my heart expands a thousand fold!  How I am blessed that he is willing to walk alongside me and support me in this crazy.  I never dreamed this life for us and, while it is not at all what I wanted or dreamed, it is so much better.  Crazy blessed to walk this road with such an incredible father to my children by my side.  I can't imagine my life without him, and when I said I would go back to China tomorrow..he didn't say no.