Since saying that we are very open to adopting again, so many people have asked me if I think I can care for another little one. The answer to that question is always on my heart..always. The words however are not always there to explain. The truth is I know it will be hard and I don't always know for sure that I will be able to do it. Last night, I lay in bed with a million thoughts mulling in my mind and the answer from my heart's perspective swirling there so clearly that I got up and prayed.
Prayed about the answer.
Prayed about my response to God's calling.
Prayed that I would hear His voice clearly and be able to answer to Him in a manner worthy of the one who made me.
So here is what is on my heart. It is mostly for me to read again and again and again when I am discouraged or unsure..but I am sharing it here in case God might speak to you through it...Here goes..
There are 147 million orphans around the world that go to bed at night without a momma to tuck them in, without a daddy to turn out the light, without sisters to snuggle next to. I have seen the orphan with my own eyes..malnourished, neglected, bed sore ridden, infected, dirty. AND I love the orphan because she is my daughter. I cannot stand before the Lord one day and pretend that I didn't see them. I can't stand before Him who made me and make excuses about why I saw them and didn't do more. I can't say to Him..it would have been too hard or stressful. I can't say to Him..it was just too much to care for the first one you gave me. I can't because I want to give Jesus all that I am. I want to be about making much of Him not about choosing what is easiest or even seemingly best for me.
He says in the word in Isaiah that we are to defend the cause of the fatherless and in James that pure religion is to visit the orphan and widow in their distress. My part of this is to adopt. Adoption is not every one's calling, but everyone is called to do something. Adoption just happens to be the way I feel God is calling me to fulfill these commands. It seems crazy. It seems unwise, but God willing I am waiting for Him to bring me more to care for in His name because I want these children, who are precious in His sight, to know the love of a family so that ultimately they can have a chance to know the love of their Heavenly Father, accept the gift of His Son, and spend an eternity in Heaven with Him.
I count it a privilege to be able to mother my little one and though at times it has been very hard..I have JOY! Joy because this is exactly where God has called me to be. So I continue to walk by faith and wait for His hand showing me the way to go. Maybe He will shut every door to adding children to our family right now or maybe He will ask us to do something even crazier that we never dreamed or imagined. I am open. Open to what He wants even if it seems a little crazier because I love Him and this love is just too wonderful not to share with more.
Auden: A Living Miracle
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