Friday, November 26, 2010
Grandpa Said It
So while she is never-ever far from my mind..yesterday Grandpa said it. We were sitting around the table after gorging ourselves with food and he said..I wonder what our little girl is doing now. Wonder..The very activity that drives me to my knees in prayer for my Jillian. While I sit here warm, loved, and fully fed..Where is she? What is she doing? Has she been fed today? Does she know love? Does she feel joy today? It is so very painful waiting to bring her home most days. It is almost like a peice of my heart is missing..leaving an exposed place so raw that nothing seems to distract me from it. Nothing seems as it should be without her sitting around our table. How is it that this love for a little one I didn't even know or couldn't have even imagined has formed so deeply? God is the author of love and because I have chosen to give Him my heart and am Him following in His will on this road, He is allowing me to experience more love for this little one than I could have ever dreamed. Despite the pain and trials..Oh, I wouldn't have missed this journey for the world. So very blessed and thankful that God is allowing me to become a mother again and that I am being given the chance to bring this little one home. Can't wait to get to you my dear, beautiful girl. I love you so.