What a Difference a Year Makes

I can't help but pause today and think back to a year ago.  This month last year was the HARDEST month I had with Jillian.  We had been home four months and been doing ok, but this month the floor fell out from under her and we did VERY HARD for weeks.  Just going back and rereading the entries I made take me back to that dark place.  I tried to take her to our town festival at the park last September and she melted down as soon as we got out of the car.  We didn't even make it to the park because she lost it in the parking lot as soon as I got her out of the car.  She continued to cry for five. hard. hours. after I got her home that day.  I remember vividly crying over her myself in those five hours and just saying I don't know what you need baby through ugly sobs.

It was a really, really hard place we walked a year ago, but I serve a God who is about restoration.  I serve a God who loves me and has given me all that I need to mother this treasure.  We have continued to travel on she and I.  Many have prayed, many more have been Jesus hands and feet to us and today....TODAY THIS MOMMA'S HEART IS FULL and the screen is blurry because I have been teary all morning.

BECAUSE..

This year, I enjoyed the Marigold Festival with my daughters!

 Jillian is happy, well adjusted, and a MIRACLE baby!

If you had told me it would be this good last September, I would have thought you were dreaming.

I never dreamed she would come this far in just a year.

 Jillian signed out and wanted her sister to hold her.

Emily is a wonderful, amazing helper for this momma.

Today, she got all our food and kept her sister while I shopped for hair bows.

I couldn't have gone without her.

I asked her if next year she could carry two Chinese babies.

She said NO!

I am sure they will be fighting over who gets their big sissy.

 Jillian enjoyed her swings as usual.

 Jillian even enjoyed this crown one of the vendors had for sale.

We always bought Emily one of these when she was little too.

They are only a $1.00 and Emily used to look to find just the right one.

 Momma's favorite part of the festival is the food.

Jillian LOVED eating her lunch..as usual.

We even saw some church friends which made her laugh when they sat down to share lunch with us.

 We even made our way to the outdoor stage and enjoyed a Julie K concert.

Jillian watched a bit anxious at first from the back, but then signed out and went up to the stage.

 Jillian spotted these hoola hoops at a vendor as we passed.

She signed out and wanted to walk over there to get a closer look.

We decided we needed to take one home.

As soon as we got home, she headed to her bean bin.

Beans are calming and organizing for her and I was thrilled that she recognized her need for them.

Today, I couldn't be happier.

(Unless our Annamae was here too.)