Tonight I noticed a couple in their late fifties with a southern draw sitting near the pool. There was also a very handsome twelve year old Chinese young man quietly swimming alone amidst a group of large siblings with their new eleven year old brother. The quiet twelve year old sat to the side and I assumed, being recently adopted, that he spoke no English so he sat alone. Soon I saw that fifty something man approach the quiet boy and I watched a huge smile erupt on his face as he called Baba (Daddy in Mandarin). The fifty something father swam with and wrestled his new son all the while this boy, new to having a father, beamed! The fifty something momma approached us and shared their story. They have adult children, five grandchildren, an empty nest, and , by the looks of it, plenty of love to share so instead of choosing to collect shells or golf... they are opening up their family to this handsome, bright young man. At a time when their friends are vacationing, grand parenting, and retiring.. they are answering God's call to care for the least. It is absolutely inspirational to see the gospel in action right here in this land! How might God use this young life because his mom and dad said yes to following God's leading. You can bet I am in tears watching the example of this couple and so inspired watching them love their new son.
Tonight I saw an eleven year old boy swim for the first time. I wish you could have been there. He had the cutest, most innocent smile as he was surrounded by his five new siblings. I watched his new blonde brother patiently coax him in the water while his new momma held his hand. Then I saw him release and stand independently on the bottom of the pool floor while his face absolutely erupted with joy. This was the picture of a physical new birth this Easter evening right before my eyes. This eleven year old boy, who has waited far too long for a family, being accepted, loved, and wanted by his new tribe experiencing fully the benefits of being a loved and cherished son. It brought tears to my eyes. He waited eleven, long years, but all I could see in his eyes was pure JOY at being near to his people experiencing the water..a wanted treasure.
I really can't explain it, but this place doing this work of claiming one more precious girl is the reason I'm alive. Being here, being used by God to be a small part of the redemption of this little one, is the thrill of my life. It is hard to imagine a time in my life when this, welcoming more home, does not exist, but deep down I know that each of God's purposes for my life have lasted for only a season. What might a season look and feel like that does not include adoption? I have no idea, but it is hard to imagine anything that could make me feel more alive than this does. I have said before that many people live their entire lives searching for their purpose. These babies have given me mine, and I am grateful to God for inviting me to do this work because truly through this I have experienced Jesus in ways I never could have if I hadn't said yes to this. I have been stretched and pulled by the Lord through this. I have seen miracles which I never could have dreamed would be. I have grown a love and passion for the fatherless that I never would have known. So as the trip wraps up this week, I don't know what the future holds, but I pray that I am willing to lay this season of my life before the Lord so that I may continue to live in His will knowing that His plans for me are bigger than I could ever imagine.
Yesterday I had the privilege of walking the halls of Ellie's orphanage. To come face to face with real tangible need like that is indescribable in so many ways. To see babies and children living in an institution without mothers and fathers stirs my heart like little else. It is the day after that encounter that is always the greatest struggle for me though. Despite saying that I know and love Jesus... Despite my desire to claim my willingness to give my life wholly to him..the day after finds me forgetting all that I have seen. It finds me rationalizing in my own heart that I have done enough and that more sacrifice would be too costly. It finds me questioning how I can give up my own comfort and why in the world I would even consider walking away from such a comfortable life to do more for these least. I want this short life to be about bringing Glory to God. I long to be more focused on eternity! I want my thoughts to not rest on whether or not I should forfeit my American Dream for the gospel. I wish that my own comfort and desires would more automatically take a back seat to the commands of His word and His purpose for my life, but it is always a struggle. This morning I remember the eyes of the eight year old girl staring at me from behind the sick room window. How many times has she watched a momma or daddy walk by that window with a little one and wondered if her turn will ever come? How does she sit in that hospital type bed day after day without someone beside her? And why do I, who claim Christ, let it happen? Why do my thoughts always go back to the lies in my heart...don't disrupt your family..don't give up too much...don't risk everything...you have done enough. These are the lies contrary to Jesus calling "those who loose their lives find it". I don't want to spend this short life focused on finding comfort here. I want to spend it seeking Jesus. I want to follow him to hurting, sacrifice, and even suffering because these places have held some of the greatest blessings of my life. I have found Jesus there and experienced his love and peace abundantly because this life was never meant to be about us.
