I have typed and retyped this post. I so desperately wish that I could put what is in my heart into words to minister to those who sit on the fence..who wonder if God exists at all..who wish they knew what life was all about and if they had a purpose in it. This adoption journey is so miraculous...beyond anything that I could say or express and without a doubt screams that God is alive and well..willing to use your life for His purposes when you say yes.
I have lived a large part of my life in the zone of safety..never stepping out and doing that which is out of my control. We had one child because that was my plan. One precious child would be easy to provide for and fit in well with our pursuit of the American Dream. Our plan was to have our child young so that we could be young when she was growing and gone. We could easily manage her care and provide every material wish that her heart desired. We were living this out well..our plan was going along great. Our houses were getting bigger and our salaries were getting larger..just as we had hoped they would be. We had a nice retirement account, hubby had an advanced degree, and we were serving in our church. Then God did the impossible in our life. He called my husband to full time ministry just five years ago. We left our house, he left his job, and we took a hefty pay cut to serve full time with teenagers. In the last five years, God has rocked our American Dream. He has shown us His purposes are so much greater than our dreams. He has changed our mind about stuff, debt, love, and so we adopt. After adopting, I gave up my job (another hefty pay cut) and have had the joy of staying home to care for our treasure since. We make a third of what we did just five years ago and WE ARE BLESSED! It is impossible that any of this has happened. It was never part of my dream and is definitely not at all in my control. In fact, Adoption is so far out of my control that it seems crazy. I don't have the $30,000 to bring home a treasure. YET...
I walked to the mailbox this morning and opened it to find a second (yes a second) donation check from a family who serves in full time ministry. They have four small children and live on one meager income, but they gave to us again.
I opened up my inbox to find a donation from a family who is adopting and traveling soon. Certainly, they still have needs of their own, but they gave to us..to our Anna Mei.
Sean was given an envelope last week after his basketball practice. The envelope had a check with $4,000 in it. It was a gift to us for our Anna.
Each week, I check in on our Life Song account and see the names of God's people who He is raising up to provide our daughter's ransom. IMPOSSIBLE..apart from the Lord. So many faithful people each giving what they can in our daughter's name so that she can be home with a family.
We sold nearly 100 t-shirts, several pieces of jewelry, and 100 dip mixes in the last month. We have raised over $1500 because so many have purchased these from us.
We have made nearly $12,000 since launching the fundraising phase of this journey just six short weeks ago.
Please let me say that this is not about the prosperity Gospel. God is not in the business of making you rich if you have faith or any other silly notion that is claimed in that movement. This is all about God meeting the need of a little girl with a lot of unknown special needs who needs a momma to hold her at night and a Daddy to make her laugh. This is all about James 1:27 being lived out in the lives of the church for one precious least of these who we will be able to call our own. There isn't anything special about us. We are clearly just ordinary people who are broken and sinful. We don't deserve God's provision, but He provides it because we stepped out and said yes to sharing our hearts with another child.
If sixteen years ago when hubby and I married, you would have told me that any of this would be a part of my life..I clearly would have thought you were high on something. God has rocked my being in the last thirteen years. He has made Himself known to me again and again in more ways than I could ever do justice with my words in this post. My life is being used for His purposes and though I am flawed and messed up..He keeps showing up in BIG ways. Please don't miss this. Let this Christmas..TODAY..be the day that you begin to hand your life to God. He loves you. He wants you for His own. He longs to walk beside you, guide you, and provide for you. I wouldn't trade Him for anything. Truly, the Lord is the thrill of my life and I am grateful to know Him!
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