Thursday, August 22, 2013
Who Was With Her Then
My precious four year old had a major meltdown this morning. It lasted nearly two and half hours and I had to call Daddy for reinforcement as my littlest was scared out of her wits watching her sis so sad. I have to admit it was exhausting working through this one. I often think about how in the world I will take care of this precious child as she ages and gets bigger. I often contemplate just how inadequate I am for this job and just how crazy it is for me to think I can do more (though it doesn't discourage me from praying to do more). This morning though I was just overcome with sadness as I was remembering the faces of those precious children from Annie's post yesterday. Those faces in Annie's photos live in one of the very places that my daughters lived. And so all I could think this morning was who was with my precious Jillian when I wasn't? Who was it that held her flailing little body while the sensory craziness passed? Who sang to her? Who reassured her that she was safe and that she was loved? The truth is there was probably no one to do those things while she waited for us and typing those words, with those fresh images of this morning still raw in my heart, brings tears to my eyes because God never intended for these babies to be alone. Parenting my special treasure is the hardest thing I have ever been called to do and yet I would do it again and again if it meant I would receive the blessing of her. She popped right up after the crazy passed and has gone about the day as if nothing happened. For me, the thought..Who was with her then?..is seared in my heart after those two and half long hours this morning and leaves me praying that God would use me more because children are meant to have a family alongside them.