Deuteronomy 4:35

You have been shown these things that you might know the Lord is God besides him there is no other.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Abolishing the "Nevers"

Monday, I had this beautiful girl to my self all morning.  We woke early and headed together, just the two of us, to the U for her cleft board appointments.  This was the first appointment of this kind for our darling girl because her palate was complete when she was born, and her lip was repaired when she came to us.  Honestly, that lip and cleft in her gum have been the least of our concerns over the last four years as so many other things have been so much more prevalent.  Medical stuff is so traumatic for her as well, that we just hadn't pursued addressing this type of appointment after her initial "all looked good" when she came home, but my has she grown.  As I walked alongside her through the many, many specialist appointments throughout our four hour stay, I was emotional to say the least.  Before welcoming this baby girl home four years ago, I could have never imagined the struggles that we would face with this sweet, sweet one.  I could have never imagined the love that would develop in my heart for her or the triumph that I would feel watching her conquer this morning as I think she is the most courageous little thing I have ever known.  As I stood with her in the line at the clinic waiting to check in, I could hear the words of the official in her country who told us on adoption day that she would never accomplish anything, and (with words much too harsh for my heart to type) that she would never be able to learn.  I stood next to her as she communicated through sign language how scared she was to me, and I thought to myself how very wrong that "never" statement was because my baby girl has learned and grown so very much as we have loved her.  She started with her hearing test.  I watched her walk into the sound booth, put on headphones, and then execute every single step of that test with ease.  I watched her eyes turn to the mysterious window to look at the face of the audiologist who was talking to her behind the wall because she recognized the sound was coming from her.  I saw her point to the pictures as she was asked in the headphones.  First one picture at a time, then two, and finally three in a row that she could point to as the words were presented.  I saw her do it all, and steal the hearts of the audiologist as she did it.  I watched her jump up triumphantly from her chair, take my hand, and then bounce out of that booth to tackle the next appointment when she was finished.  The "she will never bond to anyone", and "the she will never know you are her mother" statements spoken from many professionals in those early months home with her came to my mind as well throughout the day as I watched her sign "momma" for me when she was scared or unsure.  During the morning, I tearfully relayed to each new specialist all about her as I told them about her start and all that she has accomplished in the last four years.  I watched her bubble with joy as she saw the ceiling mounted microscopes in each exam room because she loves to watch cataract surgery on youtube and was thrilled to see those microscopes used by Dr. Ritchie in her videos.  Oh, how her excitement and joy about that equipment brought some giggles to the medical staff.  I watched as the staff loved on her, reassured her, and let her use the ten thousand dollar microscope, which made her over the moon happy, as we went along throughout the morning .  As we left, I was praising God that He has not let the "nevers" put on my girl by so many limit His plan for this wonderfully, amazing little girl that I get to call my daughter.  How extremely blessed I am to walk alongside her each day as loving her has taught me so very much.  I never dreamed when I set across the ocean to claim her as my own four years ago that I would be saying yes to caring for a child for the rest of my days as our girl will always need us to care for her because her special needs are so much more than we planned for, but I also never would have dreamed that I would feel so privileged to have been chosen to care for her and be called her momma either.  While I am in no way worthy or deserving of such a job, what a tremendous blessing this baby is to me!  We are so grateful to live so close to such great medical care for her, and we are praising God that all looks good as far as her lip/cleft go.  If she can ever stand orthodontics, the cleft in her gum is so small that it shouldn't be an issue and no bone grafting is needed.  PRAISE GOD!