We've had some down swings in the last six weeks and at times y'all I am weary. Weary at the thought of battling meltdowns every time we get in the car. Weary of working through meltdowns every time we enter the store again. Weary of fighting through meltdowns for thirty minutes during therapy. I got to be honest and say I've been up nights some lately. I keep wondering how I can do this. How will I carry her thrashing meltdown self and force her into the car when she gets bigger? How long will I patiently be able to sing her through thirty minutes of sensory overload screaming in rebellion at therapy? How long can I keep it up?
As I think about all of this it's God who answers loud and clear..
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
The truth is..I haven't been coming to Him enough. I haven't being filling up on His word and I have let my eyes fall from who He is in me. I need to constantly remind myself that I am not called to do any of this alone. I am only called to come to Him and surrender my life. Reminding myself of that today and filling myself up on His Word because it sustains me in the darkest of times. Praising God that He has allowed me to know Him today. Praising Him that He continues to draw me closer to Him through this journey and that somehow He feels I am worthy of mothering such a special treasure.