Anna Mei’s Baptism

Waiting her turn with Daddy.

It was 5:00, and I stood on the shores of the beach at Gull Lake as I had done many, many summers before, but this time was different.  This time, I was standing anticipating the baptism of my incredible, Jesus loving seven year old daughter.  I don't have the words to adequately describe what is like to watch this once orphan, turned daughter, publicly testifying that she loves Jesus and longs to serve Him with her life.  I sat there watching, pondering all that has transpired in her seven short years of life that has led her to this moment.  I sifted through the ashes these years have left her, and the beauty that God has generated from them. Then, I thanked God for his sovereignty, His protection of her, and I praised Him even more abundantly that He has given me a chance to have a small part in her life.  What an overwhelming privilege to be her momma, and lead her to Jesus!  Her little heart loves the Lord, and, while she struggles with so many emotional demons, this little girl is going to do much for His Kingdom because she gets it in a way that I couldn't at her age because of all that God has allowed her to experience.  While it breaks my heart to think of all the ways that Satan has done his best to destroy her, watching her gain victory through Jesus is just so amazing, and He is so real to her. 

Her counselor, Miss Bridle, praying for her.

Anna Mei and Miss Bridle

Daddy, Momma, and Anna Mei after her baptism.

Though watching her commit to following Jesus brought me such JOY, I shed a tear for the millions of orphans this very minute who will never know the arms of a Godly father baptizing them.  Go get these babies!  Be Jesus' hand and feet to love the fatherless as He commands.  Don't let Satan claim this generation of children whose potential is unlimited, and who could do great things for Him!

Five Years Home

It was a pleasure to celebrate this girl last week!  Five years ago, my dear friends and I traveled to China to adopt her.  Five years!  Where have they gone?

This sweet treasure loves to be celebrated!

And..we are happy, happy to do it.

In five years, we have both grown together so very much, and I am so grateful that this spunky, full of life girl is my daughter.

Five years...Five year...Five years.  How I love you my big girl!  Looking forward to seeing you holding up more and more fingers in the years to come!

Sewing

My sweet seven year old was desperate for a sewing machine as she really wanted to create some projects for her beloved doll Cici.  For Christmas, we tried a kid machine, but it was really limiting.  It hardly worked at all, and Anna Mei was heartbroken.

So, for her birthday we asked her Grandma to buy her a real sewing machine.  It is a super basic model and didn't cost much more than the kid models did.  It works so much better though she does need help.

I don't mind helping because I will do anything to spend time with my girl, and look how happy it makes her.  Down right blessed to call this girl my daughter!

A Date at the Art Museum

Today is the first day in almost two weeks that I feel like I have a bit of my energy back.  The household health is on the rise, and I even managed to get everyone out for a haircut this morning.  Believe me this is no small feat considering I could hardly sit upright for most of the last two weeks.  Thank goodness this nasty bug seems to be beaten. So because there was a free day at the CR Art Museum, and my seven year old artist was desperate for a little focused time, Anna Mei and I headed for an hour of one on one time.

There was a scavenger hunt through the galleries today.  It made looking at the paintings and sculptures extra fun.

She thought this ear of corn with a slab of butter painting was hilarious.

There were several stations throughout the museum where you could work on various projects.  We used water color pencils to create paintings in the classroom.

We also made a barn picture by rolling dice, and drawing the corresponding part.  The shadow puppet station was super fun too, and after a little over an hour my girl's love tank was FULL.  What an incredible blessing that Daddy was able to watch the other littles while we got a way a bit.  I enjoy our dates just as much as Anna Mei does.  I was thinking about how hard we have fought for this mother daughter bond, and how very much I adore her now.  There were so many times that I would pray God would make this happen, and He has answered my prayers abundantly..so very thankful as the battle for her heart has been so very worth it!

One on One Time

As a momma to many, it can be challenging to meet everyone's needs on a day to day basis even when four of our seven family members aren't sick.  This sweet girl of mine hasn't ever gotten the bug and I am so grateful for that, but it has been challenging to watch everyone get so much attention while she has had to do a lot more for herself.  This girl of mine thrives on one on one time, and undivided attention.  It fills her love tank like nothing else.  So before our Daddy headed out early Saturday morning,  she and I headed out for a 6:00 AM donut and hot chocolate date.

Since this girl is up at the crack of dawn everyday, it works out for her to get a little one on one time before the sunrises.  As much as I would have loved to stay in bed after being up all night caring for the sick baby, this time with my bigger girl meant the world to her.  It may our day so much better, and she was such a big help caring for everyone all day while her Daddy was visiting Emily.  I am so very thankful for this big girl as she is a HUGE blessing to me!

An Odd Birthday

Seven.  How did we get here?

However it happened, an odd squad party was in order as per the birthday girl's request.  So I dressed all my little agents in their uniforms, and proceeded to celebrate with many magical math wonders odd squad style.

Her eyes always disappear.  Bless her.  Seven looks good on her.

She asked Daddy to dress as Tommy Twosie..a villain on the show.  He was happy to dress ridiculously to please his girl.

We had a math room, laser hall, centigurp escape area, double duck pond, and I believe the birthday girl was very happy with her day.

Our littlest agent enjoyed all the attention too.

We celebrated with a few friends, and it was perfect for our girl who is still not comfortable with crowds.

Precious. Precious girl.

She had a bit trouble blowing out all those candles.

When she finally got them, she beamed.

Another birthday in the books.

Even my girl said these years seem to go by so fast.  Oh dear sweet child if only you knew that you would be grown in the blink of an eye.  Seven.  Oh to just be able to park here a few hundred years to enjoy each moment. 

Sister Love

My sweet six year old loves, loves her some babies.  She wants nothing more in this whole world than to be a momma!

She is such a natural big sister to this baby girl.

She is constantly kissing, feeding, and hugging this baby of ours.

What a healing blessing caring for this little one has been to her big sister. 

The First Snow

We got a wet, slushy snow a few Sundays ago, and Anna Mei couldn't wait to get out in it.  It was more like rain so she was soaked when she came in, but she was so so happy to see a bit of white in the sky.  Crazy Kid!

Meeting Ellie Grace's Diagnosis

You know going into adopting a child with special needs that there will be a diagnosis.  You know they will have special needs, and you choose to welcome that.  Having done this four times now, you know there is no way to know everything about what your child will have when they are finally home.  You choose a child not a diagnosis, and you walk through the dark, by faith, trusting that God will supply your every need to care for them as they grow.  I have done this all before.  I know how it goes, but when the CDD at the U called yesterday saying that Ellie's micro array test had turned up something..I started to panic.  Irrational thoughts swirled in my head about what it could be, and fear took over in my heart.  Immediately, I began going through horrible what if's.  What if she doesn't live until adulthood..what if she has some serious medical need that is life threatening..what if we have to walk through some scary medical stuff.. Then, the most beautiful thing happened. As I was spiraling into panic, my dear Anna Mei came up to me and out of nowhere said, "Momma, I want you to read me a bible verse right now."  She hasn't ever done that before.  I began to read passages aloud, and, as I did, the panic and fear I was feeling subsided.  My sweet six year old treasure listened to the Holy Spirit, and asked, at just that moment, to be read to from His word..which was just exactly what her momma needed to do to calm the fear in her heart.  How I love that my children minister to me.  I am grateful to God for the gift of my precious daughter who, because she knows Christ as her Savior, is filled with the living God who sent her to request that I read her the Bible at just the time I needed to be in the word myself.    What a treasure we have in His word if only we pick it up and read.  I am so thankful for the reminder of that from my beautiful six year old girl when I most needed it.

More to come about our precious treasure, Ellie Grace, and her designer chromosomes.  She is a rare beauty, indeed, designed very uniquely by a God who very intentionally made her perfectly.

Playing Baby Dolls

I often wonder what God might do with this special little girl's life.  Though Anna Mei's initial adoption file was special focus and said she had all sorts of special needs, I knew when I was handed her in China that she didn't have low or high muscle tone.  As my first week with her in country went on, I also knew that she didn't have any developmental delays, and I suspected that she didn't have "poor brain development".  Needless to say, this sweet six year old is completely typical.  That is not to say that she doesn't have her challenges.  She does, but here she is with unlimited potential sandwiched between a whole bunch of sisters who face some challenges that are considered pretty big by this world.  My dear Anna Mei is my side kick.  My number one therapy partner.  She can tailor play activities to enhance Molly's practicing to use her hearing, can encourage feeding and swallowing in our newest babe, and can even sign to Jilly in no time flat.  She is truly gifted in so many ways, and I honestly can't imagine how God might use her life.

The other morning, she brought out her baby doll, and told me that she was "reviewing her file".  Her file said she had autism and hearing loss so she was doing some therapy with her sweet baby doll to help her.  PRECIOUS!  I pray that she keeps her eyes firmly planted on Him as she grows because she has so many gifts and such potential, as we all do with God's help, to do great, BIG things for Him!  What a special, amazing little girl that I get to call my daughter.  So good!

Anna Mei

If you would have told me that I was going to be homeschooling one of my children ten years ago, I would have told you that you were crazy.  I simply never dreamed.  I never dreamed that I could do it.  I never imagined it would be so essential to the emotional health of my babe.  I never thought I would see so much emotional healing, furthered attachment, and increased confidence because honestly, at times, the situation with this sweet girl has seemed hopeless.  Her emotions are strong.  Her trauma is big, and pulling her out of the world a bit to be with me 24/7 has made a tremendous difference for her.  I am so extremely grateful that God called us down this path, and that I didn't let my own selfishness and fear keep me from following this road.  We have had an absolutely amazing year so far.  We have so many beautiful shared moments in the day, and she is learning.  She believes in her ability to work hard, and learn instead of feeling inferior and overwhelmed.  Best of all, I have never loved her more.  I have struggled through these last four years doing the best I could for her, and I have messed up a lot.  These ashes that we have been sifting through for four years now are finally feeling beautiful.  They have been beautiful all along, but finally I feel like they are beautiful too.

She picked up this book from the library this week, and read it all by herself.  This is the first time she has been able to do that, and I got to be next to her when she did.  Oh, her eyes lit up, and JOY overtook her face!

She said the most darling thing today.  Several years ago, she noticed the blank look on her face and the empty eyes when looking at her pictures from the orphanage.  I never pointed it out to her, but one day she said..that is my "Asian face".  When I asked her to explain what she meant at four when she said those words for the first time, she said her face was sad and empty in Ch*na before I came for her.  It cut to my heart to hear her notice that.  Today, we went to get our pictures taken for our Ch*nese Visa, and she was told not to smile in her picture.  She said she would make her Asian face, but then started giggling infectiously.  While laughing, she said, "I just can't make that face anymore now that I am American."  I could have burst into tears right there.  Dear girl has a momma now.  She is American, and she belongs here.  There are no more empty eyes, no more hungry belly, or lying in a crib for hours on end, and her smile is hard to get rid of.   As hard fought as this battle for her heart has been, she is more than worth it.  I can't wait to take her with me to get Ellie Grace as I think a trip back to her roots will be so healing for her.  That God would entrust me with such a precious gift is beyond me, but today I am so thankful!

A Party For My Artist

 I love birthday parties!

 Celebrating my babies is one of my favorite things to do!

This little babe is my artist so choosing a theme for her sixth birthday party was easy peasy.

 My darling girl was thrilled with her day.

 We painted some initial canvases with our little friends who came.

 Jilly liked painting too!

 Six years old looks so good on her.

 She opened up her gifts and enjoyed every one!

 We sang to her, and the candles were out after a few tries.

These years are flying by, but I am grateful for these moments to cherish in my heart as these are some of the best of my life.

Precious, Precious

Pulling into the driveway just now, my precious Anna Mei says, "Momma, I just want Ellie Grace to be home right now.  Momma I will give you all the money I have to get her home."  To which I say, "I know baby having her in China so far away is so hard.  You are such a precious, precious hearted girl.  Momma loves that you love your baby sister so much already."  I may have shed a tear or two as well. Waiting is hard, but I got an email today that our homestudy might be done next week!  If it is done, we can start the immigration process which just means we can file a few more papers and wait for them to process.  Only about one million more papers to go until we hold her...Counting the days until then!

Celebrating the Mid Autumn Moon Festival

As Anna Mei and I were preparing to celebrate the Mid Autumn Moon Festival this year, she asked why I loved China so much, why we celebrated its holidays, and why I cared because I am not Chinese.  It was such a beautiful time for me to tell her that  a part of me is Chinese, though not through blood, because she is Chinese.  I was able to tell her that who she is and where she came from matters very much to me because she is my daughter.  

These days are some of the most precious of my life as I am homeschooling her.  I will forever cherish them.  The memories we are making, and the bond that we are growing, is priceless. 

My Budding Artist

 Last weekend, while Daddy took afternoon nap duty, I slipped away to a free art festival with my little creative spirit.  Having one on one time with my girls really fills my heart.  She loved the first station which was this squirt gun painting canvas.  She used red and white in her squirter to create pink.  She is a pink kind of girl.

 This girl of mine eats up our time together too, and this was the perfect way to spend a few hours just with her.  She used "loose" art parts of many kinds to create a mask masterpiece.

 They had a chalk drawing station where they learned about different techniques to use chalk in art.

 This was probably her favorite station as she loves mixing paint to create new colors right now. She loves experimenting with shading, and depth.

 She painted on glass, and then transferred her painting to paper by using a roller to press it on.  It was called monoprint design.

 There were instruments to explore and play.

 

 As you can see, this few hours made my babe very happy.

I know these moments are fleeting, and I am working to hold on to as many as I possibly can.  Five is just so precious, and watching her grow into the woman she is becoming never grows old.