Chocolate Goodness

This little lady is my shadow.  She does everything that I do.  Anytime that I am cooking, you can find her perched up on the counter right next to me.  She is so much like me.  She is crazy verbal, loves people, loves to be in the center of everything, loves to eat, and did I mention she is crazy verbal?!  Sometimes she seriously exhausts me and it makes me think that I must really tire my sweet hubby and darling daughters who are not at all as verbal as I am.  I love this lady to bits and couldn't resist getting these early morning pictures of her making some yummy chocolate cake with me.

 Happy, happy girl!

 She needed two spoons for this stuff!

 Yum! Yum!

Our Morning..

We made scrambled eggs together.  I even got Jillian to touch the shredded cheese and add it to the bowl.  I was chuckling because as I was taking the pictures I said without even thinking "say cheese".  I saw Jillian signing cheese and because I didn't think about what I said, I thought why is she signing cheese.  Then I remembered I had said "say cheese" as I was taking the picture.  You can see that Jillian is looking right at me and Anna is the one choosing to ignore the fact that I am trying to get a photo.  These two have to tag team I tell you!

We got some new water color paints and Anna enjoyed painting very. very. much!

 Look at this beautiful smile!

Her hair is growing and she even asked to wear a hairbow.  Isn't she just darling?  You got to love a beautiful baby whose eyes disappear when they smile.  She is a treasure this girl! 

Who Was With Her Then

My precious four year old had a major meltdown this morning.  It lasted nearly two and half hours and I had to call Daddy for reinforcement as my littlest was scared out of her wits watching her sis so sad.  I have to admit it was exhausting working through this one.  I often think about how in the world I will take care of this precious child as she ages and gets bigger.  I often contemplate just how inadequate I am for this job and just how crazy it is for me to think I can do more (though it doesn't discourage me from praying to do more).  This morning though I was just overcome with sadness as I was remembering the faces of those precious children from Annie's post yesterday.  Those faces in Annie's photos live in one of the very places that my daughters lived.  And so all I could think this morning was who was with my precious Jillian when I wasn't?  Who was it that held her flailing little body while the sensory craziness passed?  Who sang to her?  Who reassured her that she was safe and that she was loved?  The truth is there was probably no one to do those things while she waited for us and typing those words, with those fresh images of this morning still raw in my heart, brings tears to my eyes because God never intended for these babies to be alone.  Parenting my special treasure is the hardest thing I have ever been called to do and yet I would do it again and again if it meant I would receive the blessing of her.  She popped right up after the crazy passed and has gone about the day as if nothing happened.  For me, the thought..Who was with her then?..is seared in my heart after those two and half long hours this morning and leaves me praying that God would use me more because children are meant to have a family alongside them.

Bawling My Eyes Out

After a beautiful morning with my precious littles making scrambled eggs, experimenting with watercolor paints, and playing at yet another beautiful new park here in our new city, I was planning on sharing a post about our amazing and wonderful little life.  Then I opened my blogs and saw this .  (Just click over and look for yourself.)  These faces haunt me at night.  The faces of girls and boys as valuable to the Lord as my beautiful littles with no hope of ever having a morning with a momma cooking, painting, and playing.  How do I even begin to let go of the deep sorrow I have over the thought of just one child living this life of hopelessness?  I don't have all the answers.  In fact, I don't have many at all as I have been in the throws of doing hard with my newest little treasure as we continue to graft her in to our family, but I know that God has given me such a tremendous burden for these children.  I honestly feel shame that I sat for so long doing nothing about the orphan crisis.  I praise God today for breaking my heart for these children as I see Him in each of them.  I also praise God for His promises and rest in knowing that He has a plan for each and every valuable life He creates.  Trusting Him in that today!

The First Weekend of Our New Life..

The first weekend of our new life..

was wonderful!  

I missed having daddy here the last week with us so we were all super happy to be together enjoying the last few lazy days of sunshiny summer.  The splash pad was calling our name by Saturday night as Em and I spent the entire day Saturday shopping at the mecca mall in IA city.  We needed some rest and relaxation after the marathon school shopping trip.

 The free splash pads all over the city are one of my favorite things about our new home.  Anna loves to point to the water and ask "where did it go?" when it turns off.

 Both of the girls run to the sensor to turn it on again when it turns off. 

 They race to see who can get there first.

 The playground is close to the water and the girls enjoy playing there too.

 It always brings big smiles.

 Emily LOVES the park too.

(OK so this may be an exaggeration, but she tolerates it well.)

Daddy ran the trails in the park while we played.  Then Sunday, we enjoyed our first worship at CVBC.  We have felt so loved and welcomed by this special group of people who we are lucky enough to begin serving alongside.  It has been a great week and we are so thrilled to be settled and get started.

A Trip to DQ

My girls are so happy here.  I was trying to be optimistic about this move in the days leading up to it.  I have done my best to prepare these ladies by talking about our new home and using pictures and praying..lots of praying, but I never dreamed Jillian would be so happy so fast.  My word she has grown so much in the last two years.  It is hard to believe, even though the images of her first fifteen months with us are deeply imbedded in my heart, that this is the same child who came home with us from China.  Would you just look at Jillian clapping and smiling?  We walked in the wagon to the neighborhood DQ.  Jill would NOT eat any ice cream, but enjoyed teasing me.  She would open her mouth just until a bite got close and then she would close it up.  Anna Mei on the other hand ate lots and lots of brownie delight.  She was delighted with our evening activities and the hot fudge.

 I made Em pose because now I have proof that she is indeed here with us too.  She didn't want to, but a mother's I say so is very powerful some days.  She got to play a little 3 on 3 with her daddy, some of her new bball teammates, and her coach informally today.  It was great for her, but left her pretty tired because after an hour of bball, she had two hours of volleyball to practice.  Good times!  She is so busy.  This high school schedule is very, very full.  I suppose we will adjust.

Here is a picture of my little sweetie sporting some Iowa goodness.  She is growing up so much!  Notice Jillian in the back of the cart.  She is indeed already even comfortable enough to be shopping here.  I never dreamed she would adjust so quickly.  I am visiting the school program at the end of next week for her.  I need wisdom..lots of wisdom.   This is one special treasure I have and I really need God's guidance in deciding what is best for her as far as schooling goes. Until then, I am enjoying my babies and settling into this new life with JOY! 

Time Out on 32nd Street

 We had out first time out here at 32nd street.

Our Jillian just loves to watch her beans from her bin drop on the hardwood.

It brings her great joy and causes momma much duress.

Of course, Anna had to get her two cents in and sounds just like momma scolding her big sis saying "No No Jill. Beans!".  Look at those little lips and her momma stance.  

Then, Anna Mei began to feel compassion and joined Jillian in the corner just for the heck of it.

Seriously, they are too too cute!

My girls are so happy here.

Jillian is roaming around and comfortable as can be here.  Truly, I never dreamed she would have such an easy time in a new place. Their adjustment has been a dream!

Anna Mei loves to cook with Momma in our new kitchen and is thrilled to help carry things to the table for dinner.  She is proud as a peacock and reports to daddy all that she has done when he gets home.

Em is doing great too, but is not interested in posing for any pictures.  The nerve of a teenager!  Really very thankful that God has gone before us here and for all that my girls are experiencing.

God's Miraculous Provision

I wish with all my heart that I could record every detail of the last week.  It has been so good in so many ways, but I know that I will never do it justice or remember all that has been on my heart.  We had an amazing crew of friends who came on Friday in Pekin to pack us up and send us off.  Many of them even gave up their Saturday to drive here and help us transport all of our stuff.  Thank you Eric, Rebecca, Chris, and Chris!  Sean's mom came up with us and helped us get settled in as well. We love you!

The girls did amazingly well and played in the water in the backyard all day here at the new house while we settled in.  We had lunch provided for us on Saturday by our new church family and many, many who stayed well into the afternoon setting up beds, unpacking, cleaning, and helping us get settled.  We felt loved and were overwhelmed by the way everyone served us.  Saturday night we had dinner delivered by another sweet church member who even went as far as finding out what my Jillian eats.  She brought Jill's yogurt and applesauce as well as yummy homemade pizza with delicious cake.  I cried sweet tears of joy because she thought of my baby girl's needs and met them without even knowing us.

The week has continued on much like this.  We have had visits by many with cookies, hugs, and welcomes.  We have attended a staff cookout where we spent time together with the school and church staff swimming, eating, and visiting.  This is an amazing place and while we are sad to leave the many that we love in Pekin, we are excited to get settled here and to start doing life with this incredible congregation.

Thursday we spent the day with some of the church families at a local beach.  You all know my Jillian LOVES water and sand! This beach is beautiful, free, and very close to our house.  Many may just see this as a lake, but as I looked across the crystal blue water I just thought of God's miraculous provision!  A crystal clear lake, much like the beautiful Gull Lake where we happily spend a week at family camp every summer, only twenty minutes from our new home.  This is a place that we will be spending many happy summer days with our new family of friends.  I heard one of the moms say that she likes to spend time together with other ladies of the church because she is never leaving Cedar Valley and so if we are going to raise up our kids together, we should know and love each other.  Music to this mommas heart!  Walking alongside these friends and doing life together is going to be a true pleasure.

My sweet babies have also found open arms already and this momma is thrilled.  Em seems to have found a wonderful young lady who is in her class and shares her name.  EF seems like a great girl and is delightful to talk to.  She is an answer to prayer indeed.  Anna Mei has already learned to say Abby and looks for her whenever we are with our group.  She likes to be held and Abby is amazing with her.  She has ministered to this momma so much with how very willing she is to help me take care of the girls while Sean is back wrapping things up in Pekin.  Abby walked carrying Anna Mei to the car from the beach yesterday which was a HUGE blessing and she was in the pool the entire time I was on Tuesday helping with the girls.  A little lady named Jesse has taken a liken to my Jillian too and watched me signing to her yesterday so she could pick some up.  Jesse is a tiny fourth grader, but still let Jillian climb all over her in the water.  Jillian kept signing sit and Jesse wasn't sure what it meant so she asked and then sat every time Jillian told her.  Both of these girls are from the same family and they have beautiful hearts.  I can't wait to get to know them more!

Truly, I can't believe how seamless this move has been.  My Jillian hasn't missed a beat.  She even seems more comfortable in this strange, new house than she did in our familiar one in Pekin.  I can't explain it.  I have no words, but what I do have is a God who holds us each in His hands.  How I love the Lord who has written this entire story for us and who knows every detail before it is revealed to us.  To God be much glory for the way that we have been loved by these beautiful people in the last week.  I hope that I have the opportunity to show God's love to them many times as we walk beside each other in the years to come.  Cedar Valley Bible Church seems so very special and I am grateful to be able to call it home!

14

14?

I don't know how it happened.

I am thankful for the young lady she is growing into.

And I am even more thankful for God's grace as I continue to figure out how best to raise her up as she refuses to stop getting older.

Blocks

 This sweet girl is a serious thinker.

 She also has a silly side.

 She is compassionate,

 a chatter box,

 a happy little one,

and very animated.

She makes building a tower out of blocks into a time of worship for this momma as I am grateful to God for the gift of her.  I can't believe how much she is growing and how different she is than just four short months ago!  Unbelievable.  Truly the difference a family can make in the life of a child is so evident in my baby girl and I am the luckiest momma in the world to have her as mine.

Just a Packing..and Packing..and Packing

 This moving thing is so much work.  Add in two babies, a hubby, and a teen to guide through the process as well and you might just have a nervous breakdown.  I am being a bit dramatic of course, but it is some serious work and a big mess.  We are trying to have some fun together along the way though and we are thrilled, excited, over joyed to get settled in our new life.

 This little lady of mine LOVES helping her momma.  It is usually a whole lot harder to let her help than to just do it myself, but she enjoys being in my shadow right next to me so I have tried to be very, very patient with her.  She loves moving boxes, sitting in boxes, stuffing newspaper in boxes, and playing with the peanuts.  Jillian usually carries the peanuts around dropping them everywhere so little Mei Mei can be found following her shouting "NO Jill!  Momma PEE (aka peanuts) Jill!"  Anna's language skills are exploding.  She is saying lots and lots of words and is definitely a chatter box.  She is constantly, constantly telling on her sister Jill. She regularly reports to momma all that Jillian is up to and where she is currently located.  I love that she is so interested in keeping an eye on her big sis. 

I have been telling the girls as we have been packing that we are getting a new house.  Well, until last Wednesday when we started loading up a truck I am not sure that Jillian had any understanding.  When she saw the boys all here and the fridge from the basement going up the stairs, she began to understand that something was up.  She quietly escaped down the other staircase and came up behind the boys watching their every move.  I am praying that God is preparing her heart for this move as she is the one who is going to be most out of sorts with all the change.  I know God's got complete control of this and I am resting in knowing He has everything planned.  Friday night is the biggest loading party with the 26 ft. truck coming then.  We need some serious help and lots of prayers as we are about to turn these babies' lives upside down.  They have experienced so much loss in their short little lives already and I pray they will transition smoothly.

Our Sheep

Our sheep, the youth that we have been blessed to minister to, are just about the most amazing kids I have ever known.  I love them deeply and they love me, and my sweet babies, so well.  They are a HUGE part of our lives.  In fact, there aren't many days that go by that at least a few of them aren't sitting in our living room or around our table.  Saying goodbye to them..This part of leaving this place in our lives is HARD.  We are excited to go into the future and know that we are in God's will, but OH we love these kids and the thought of not seeing them every week is enough to make me want to cry my eyes out.  They love my babies.  Oh they love my babies.

 They saw our Jillian at 15 pounds, neglected, broken, sick, and loved her anyway.  They have pursued her with a relentless passion doing all that they could to connect with her.  They have modeled Christ's love to her, learned her sign language, wrestled with her, and prayed for her healing.  She is a tough one to connect with, but my sheep they have, without counting the cost, given completely of themselves to love her.

 Many, many of these beautiful kids have given to our fundraising efforts and have actually been a part of bringing these treasures home to our fold.  They have volunteered for and ministered to our family again and again for the cause of the orphan.  These two treasures, our daughters, have been loved well by our sheep and this momma is touched again and again as I watch these kids interact with my girls.  I am grateful to them for all that they have done to help heal the hearts of my babies by loving them with a Christ like love that is just so beautiful and pure.

Honestly, I know that I am the one who was supposed to "give" something to these kids, but truly they have done so much more for me than I could ever do for them.  They have touched the deepest places of my heart.  They have shown me what it is to live out your faith and how to love others even when it is hard.  They each have changed a little piece of me for the better.  I now am leaving this place changed because of them and leaving them just makes me sad, but I know that God has great plans for where we are going.  I am doing my best to keep my watery eyes on the road ahead, but giving thanks for the many, many that God has given to love us as we have walked this road we are leaving behind.  I never dreamed I would experience the richness of love that God has allowed us to feel as we have ministered to these kids.  I am grateful to Him for it and I rest in knowing that He has the future in His hands.

Enjoying My Babies

I have had my babies all to myself this week as Daddy and Big Sis have been on a mission trip.  I was worried that it may be really hard having both of them by myself for a whole week, but it has been a joy.  There have been very few moments that I haven't been really thankful to have this time with them to myself.  Of course, I miss Daddy and Sis.  I am glad they will be pulling in soon, but with only the three of us we have been able to take things slow and enjoy ourselves.  There has been less mess to clean up, less laundry to do, and less food to make as only three of us just require less.  I also have been able to do whatever I want when I want because these two are too little to protest too awful much.  This morning we went to the riverfront area to visit (you guessed it-water) the splash fountain and hang at the park there.  It was a beautiful morning and I had plenty of time to give thanks for these two amazing girls as I watched them enjoying just being.  I know I say this far too often, but truly, truly I am grateful to God today for giving these treasures to me.  They have taught me so much about true joy and real happiness. 

 You can just see her genuine smile through the water.

Oh My heart I love this kid!

She would scream with the biggest delight each time the water would turn on.

 Anna was not feeling the love of the water right away.

Isn't she so cute?

 This one would splash for hours.

 Look at that it came on again!

 I'm sticking close to mom because it is safer here, but when she asks me to smile..I'm going to look away because that is so funny.

 She just sat over watching the water a bit.

How this momma wishes will all her heart that I could read her mind.

 Precious.

 By the end, Anna decided this was pretty fun too.

She was up and running as fast as she could away from the water when it turned on because she did not want to be caught in.

 A little playing at the park always makes her smile.

My babies I love you more each day!

What a beautiful week of memories we have had as we have done a whole lot of nothing.  It is so good to be with you and I cherish you both beyond words.

We LOVE the Pool

Have I ever mentioned we LOVE the pool?

I am pretty sure I have, but it can't really be said enough.

Water play is number one in our book.

My babies' tans can testify to the amount of time we spend outside.

I love watching them in the water.

They are so happy.

My Jillian seems to come alive in the water!

I just can't get enough of her!

  This little sweetie tries so hard to swim just like her big sis!

Her arms are so short that she can't quite crawl through the water though.

The smiles.

I never get tired of the big, genuine smiles that my girls display the whole time we are swimming.

Truly, it is worth the $3.50 because watching Jillian in the water is priceless.

 I bought this swimsuit for Anna long before I held her in my arms. 

I dreamed of her wearing it many months before she was home.

She is just as cute in it as I imagined she would be.

I could eat her up with those chubby little toddler legs.

This little one is growing up so fast and  she has no fear.

Her face goes in the water and she loves it!

What a different baby she is than the one that I was handed two years ago.

I praise God for her and truly love watching her enjoying herself so much!