The journey with our little miss this last week has been incredibly hard. There have been times, many times, that I have felt like I did the first week we were home. I have been at the bottom and thought we were climbing up, but now it seems like the floor has been taken out from under us and we are starting over in many ways.
I'll tell you though-I love her and she is mine. I am in this for the long haul no matter what. I am trusting God with this journey as I know He has it planned out.
I also have to say that without the incredible trials and tough times of this last week-I simply would have missed the comfort of my Lord and He has been handing it out to me abundantly lately...
It was a rough night. About midnight, she had been screaming for two hours already. I was desperate. I left her on the bed and sat in the rocking chair next to her and turned on the nightlight. I got just enough light to read and so I began reading some of the Psalms aloud as she continued to struggle. Then God brought a song-The Joy of the Lord is My Strength-to my heart. It has been such a long time since I have heard it that I could only remember the chorus. The chorus was enough. I just began to sing it over Jillian as she cried. I closed my eyes and rubbed her back while I sang that chorus again and again. I haven't felt closer to the Lord than I did last night. It was such a beautiful time of worship right there in her bedroom in the wee hours of the morning. It calmed her too. She finally fell into a good sleep about one AM and slept until seven this morning.
Praise the Lord.
Praise the Lord that He is the great comforter, that He is ever beside me, and that I know Him as Savior. Couldn't live one day without Him in it..the joy of the Lord is my strength.
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