Her First Birthday..

There are no words.  I am not often speechless, but this kid..OMW..this kid is thrilled to be having a birthday.  She is something so very, very special and her day so far has been absolutely delightful.  She is counting down the hours until Em is home from school so we can have her official party with the Elmo cake we made.  My heart is happy..overflowing in fact..to have this sweet, treasured daughter with us on her "first" birthday!  There is nothing like it!  There is not one picture from today that she isn't just positively glowing!!

 We were able to find her the most adorable little kitchen and laundry center.  Another family had outgrown it at just the perfect time for Anna who was thrilled to see it this morning.

 She immediately began to iron and do laundry just like momma does.

 She even loved waiting for her birthday breakfast!

 Look at her excitement as she sees the candles on the pancakes and hears us singing happy birthday!

 Smiles. Priceless. (Without many of you, this simply wouldn't be.  She wouldn't be here and for that I am forever grateful to you!  Thank you for giving so that she could be home.)

 Dear friends this is the face of a treasured and loved little one on her very first birthday! 

 Blowing out candles.

She was more than ready to enjoy her very first birthday in a family!  We love her immeasurably and are so very happy to have this day with her.

Playing Together

 It is difficult to engage Jillian and Anna Mei in play at the same time.  Engaging Jillian is hard work because of her autism and Anna Mei, at two,  just doesn't have the patience and understanding to hold out or wait long enough to make their play last any amount of time.  As a result, playing purposefully together for any amount of time is something that this momma treasures in her heart.  One morning last week, it happened.  Anna Mei and I were in the corner of the dining room, because that is were we happened to land, with the toys she had gotten out.  We began by setting up some bowling pins and crashing a ball into them.  This pulled our Jillian in so naturally.  Initially, Anna Mei screamed (she is two people) refusing to share momma or her toys with Jillian, but after some prompting she relented and Jillian was still interested in playing so we took turns setting up the pins and knocking them over.  It lasted for a good seven minutes.  Jillian and Anna Mei took turns, shared laughs, and enjoyed playing!  Then, after growing tired of bowling, Anna created a new game
using the animal puppets and blocks in the tubs near us.  (Y'all I will never take for granted how easily this playing thing and childhood in general come for most kiddos, like my Anna, again after watching my Jillian struggle through so much!) We still had Jillian hooked, and despite her anxiety over those pesky puppets, she participated fully in Anna's game for a good ten minutes.  Anna would wear the puppet and Jillian would "feed" it a block.  Jillian would wear the puppet (miraculous truly) and Anna would feed it a block.  Then it was momma's turn.  Jillian thought my silly animal voices were hilarious.  It was wonderful to sit in the corner and enjoy a good fifteen minutes playing with my girls.  There was no fighting (unheard of as Anna can a bit difficult when it comes to sharing) and we laughed so much!  I am grateful for every moment I have with these beauties, but this moment was wonderful!  Jillian continues to just amaze me.  I miss our organized play therapy so much, but am so lucky to have seen Miss Amy, our amazing play therapist, playing with my Jill for well over a year.  In that year, I got pretty good at playing myself and I really, really enjoy it!  It is my prayer that I remember just how important is to stop all my business and take time to just play with my treasures!  These moments are the stuff that life is made of.  I know these toys, that now take up about 90% of our home, will be gone all too soon.  Enjoy today!

Pray

Sweet baby girl still has some pretty intense rages.  Usually, she is most upset when she wakes from her nap.  These episodes can be pretty ugly and last a good long while.  In the last two weeks, we have had some beautiful positive changes with our treasure and we are so hopeful that we are gaining ground in her heart.  She is pushing me away less and letting me comfort her more even in the midst of her anger.  Today, she woke and I knew she would ultimately end up melting down.  She did, in fact, scream, kick, and flail for a good while, but as she was collecting herself she came to me for rocking.  Then she said PRAY.  I did not understand her at first as she was still sobbing heavily so she repeated PRAY.  You see, I pray for my sweet girl as I sit next to her working through her grief during these times.  I pray aloud so she knows exactly what I am saying as I converse with my God on her behalf.  I give thanks for her life (even though I am often frustrated and afraid as I watch her), pray peace over her, and most often spend lots of time praying for God's healing where her little heart is concerned.  Today, today was the first day that my baby girl asked me to pray for her.  She wanted me to talk with God on her behalf.  There are so many things that are down right hard about parenting my beautiful treasures from China, but at the same time there are moments like this..that bring you to your knees because my baby girl at two knows where this momma's coming from.  She knows that ultimate healing and peace can only come through a relationship with a living God.  It is my prayer that I model that for her and that ultimately she grows to love Him as much as I do.  I believe He has never left her and that He knows every step she has taken.  He understands the pain in her heart and He has placed her right here and chosen me to help her heal.  Though I am broken and weak myself, God continues to give me wisdom and strength as I parent these girls and I am forever grateful for the privilege.

Playing in the Snow

 Oh the JOY that comes from being able to spend a little time with my babies makes my heart so very full.  

 God is immeasurably good to have given us the gift of these beautiful girls.  (Is she not adorable in this huge, puffy suit?)

  Playing in the snow is just so much fun!  We needed some good fresh air and outdoor exercise.

The wonder of the white stuff is something that I hope they never loose.  I am thankful for the balmy mid thirties today so we could get out a bit.  We enjoyed our time so very much!

Our Christmas Day..Anna Mei's First

 Anna Mei woke this morning to begin her first celebration of Jesus Birthday!  She was so excited!  She loved finding this sweet dollhouse. 

 She had never seen a slinky.  She was fascinated.  In true strong willed fashion, she refused to wear her Christmas pajamas last night.  I love her spunky spirit as she demanded butterflies.

 (Twelve years ago, this very same dollhouse was sitting out for our Em the Christmas that she was two.  I am mighty glad Grandma saved it. It is more special to have Anna playing with it as we remember Em this age playing with it.)  She was very excited to find her Elmo underwear too!  She put it on right away!

 Jillian always loves some slinky!  She also had some bags of dry red beans in her stocking to spill on the floor.  Good times for her!

 She found a tent full of rice this morning!  She has been busy all day in there.  It is such fun!

 Her favorite part of the morning was eating on the couch.  She loves being waited on.

 Anna Mei helped with Christmas breakfast...dark chocolate/ peppermint pancakes.  Yummy!

 Emily slept until well after 9:00.  She is a teenager and we opened most of our presents last night.  She did enjoy her angel pancake for breakfast.  She has played with her sisters all day.  Love this kid!

 Jillian made all of us (including Daddy get in that tent).  My back is killing me tonight, but it was a beautiful day.  We just played and enjoyed being together.


You can see lots of video on my youtube channel. https://www.youtube.com/user/slmaster16/videos

Our Christmas Eve..Anna Mei's First

 Have you ever seen such joy?  This kids radiates it!  She was so thrilled to open presents and recited Jesus birthday a hundred times.  Her first Christmas has been a special one. 

 Emily was the first to open a package.

 Jillian loved this floor scooter.

 This is the first package Anna Mei opened.  It was a new game.  This is the first turn taking game she has played.  She is doing well.

 This girl knew most every gift she was getting because she is a teenager and so picky.  I would rather her like and wear what she gets so she picks a few things for her gifts.

 I did surprise her with two boxes of real poptarts.  They are her favorite peanut butter and chocolate.  We don't get them often so it was a treat for her. 

 Jillian LOVES potato head body parts right now.  She doesn't really like to put them on the head, but she loves to request them by signing and then hold them.

 She was very very happy with this gift.

Anna Mei slept with her new backpack.  She really wanted a backpack because Jillian has one for school.  She was so happy to get it.  It was a wonderful evening. 

Making Cookies (Picture Heavy)

 We have spent many, many hours in the kitchen baking this season as it is my very favorite place to be.

 My Anna Mei is very fond of it too.  It is a whole body experience for her..just look at that powdered sugar.

 How many cookies do you get to eat Anna?  Just one cookie is her answer every time, but she usually tries to negotiate more than that in the end.

 She takes decorating very seriously.

 Jillian spent a good while in the beans at first while we prepared dough..just goofing with daddy.

 Emily helped decorate and eat her fair share too.

 Jillian was excited when the sprinkles came out as it was a sensory bin for her.  One of her favorite visuals is the sprinkling of anything so these decorations were a hit.

 Anna was one happy little lady the entire time.  I can't help but think of her sad face and empty eyes less than a year ago while she laid waiting for us to come to her and just look at her now.

When I added icing to Jillian's tray, it really stressed her out.  She continued to play with it for a bit, but then had to go to the bath.  It was way too much for her.  It was  great fun decorating and eating this season away with my newest little to help.  We made many, many memories and had moments I will forever cherish.  I am so very thankful for this little family God has given me!

Their First Christmas Program

(We had a snow storm that dumped about seven inches on us on Saturday night and  into Sunday morning, but there were a few children who made it to church for the program..four to be exact.  I was sad that so many weren't plowed out in time to come as my little Sunday School class is so cute when they sing.  We were missing about ten children.)

Truly watching my first Chinese treasure on Sunday morning stand with the two and three year old class, smiling, performing motions, ringing her bell, and enjoying herself leads me to believe that even the impossible is possible when it is in God's will.  I was told by so many after first coming home from China that my sweet Jillian would never be able to do anything, would never be connected to us, would never learn much..and at times I admit I believed it myself.  This child is something indescribable and she just does something to me.  Watching her standing up there and remembering just how very far she has come in the last two years just makes me want more of these treasures in homes with forever families because she has accomplished so much!  And my sweet Anna Mei holding that baby doll and standing in front of everyone..precious!  Blessed.  I am down right blessed by the presence of these girls!

The Man at the Over Pass

It was nearly twenty below zero last Wednesday morning as I drove my treasure to therapy up the interstate past the exit I have come to hover around.  I hover because there is a man often standing there holding his sign asking for food and work.  I take this exit often, though it is out of the way, and always look for him because I deliver food every time he stands there, but it had been nearly a week since I last saw him yielding his cardboard sign and I had wondered about him each day that week.  On this morning, there he stood, out in the twenty below zero cold, holding his sign for food, and this time asking for blankets as well.  I drove through Culvers and got my usual for him-the number one with hot, black coffee.  As I pulled out, I peeked in my mirror and saw my beautiful Jillian sitting in her seat and  I prayed with her for this man.  I prayed that his needs would be met and I thanked God for meeting the needs of my sweet treasures when they lay on the side of the road in real need in China the day they were abandon.  Having these two girls has changed something so deep inside of me.  This man, whom stands beside the over pass, is like my own daughters.  What if no one had stopped for Anna Mei on January 16, 2011 as she lay on that road by the bank?  What if everyone was too busy or thought someone else would do it?  What if no one took the time to lift Jillian from her finding spot on March 16, 2009?  My heart aches at the thought of my babies alone with such a real need and so I meet this man's needs because someone met the needs of my babies when I couldn't.  Honestly, I have grown to love this little man even though I know nothing about him.  He wears a red sweatshirt, sincerely thanks me each time I bring him something, and says God bless you.  God bless me?  I wish I could just pull over and tell him about how God has blessed me again and again because I know His Son as Savior, but I turn my blinkers off and pull back in traffic and our interaction is quickly over because traffic is zooming by as each of us go about our day seemingly untouched by the hurt and need around us.  What if I just took a little more time to be Jesus to others?  What if we all did?  This man, and the need of my daughters, leaves me longing for Jesus return when there will be no more evil, no more need, and the lion will lay with the lamb.  Until then, I will keep bringing food to this man and doing my best to meet the needs I see in my corner of God's world because He has given me so very much.

Thank You Fed Ex Man

Thank you Fed Ex man for delivering our diapers in the ice storm.  We needed said diapers badly..

and are especially grateful for the huge box they came in.  It provided us hours of fun and we needed it because being cooped up inside is no fun!

Her Buddy

We recently received a Christmas card in the mail and a photograph of one of Anna's roommates from Xuchang.  She probably spent her entire life living with this little guy as they are close in age and are in the same room in many of the pictures we have from her orphanage.  When she first came home, we had a photo of him in the orphanage that his new family sent us when they received his referral. After returning home from China with Anna, I would get the photo out and pray for this little fella as he waited for his family.  When I would do this, the photos of him still the orphanage made my Anna so sad that she would shake her little head no and cry when I would show her his picture and so I had to stop praying with her for her little friend.  I continued my praying over his photo though by myself until the day his family reached him.  Well, now this little man is home and in the arms of a loving family.  He doesn't even look like the same little man I prayed over in the photo from the orphanage.  The sweetest part of receiving this card was Anna's reaction to seeing him.  She is now so happy to see his picture-so different than her reaction to seeing him still in the orphanage-and even more overjoyed to look at all his siblings with him.  She truly was really thrilled to see him when I opened the card and she smiled so big when I showed her his picture.  I know she is only two, but truly this baby girl's heart is much older than that and she completely understands that this little man is home with a family and orphaned no more.  Just look at her as she is calling out his Chinese name as she looks at his picture..

Merry Christmas B!  Thank you for sharing your family with us.

Her First Snowman

  It was just an ordinary moment.  A little girl playing joyfully in the snow happens everyday in these parts.  But for my baby girl, it was so much more.

 It is the promise of a new life, a forever family, a chance to experience everything that God has made her for.

 Just eight months ago this little lady was placed into my arms and since then she has stolen my heart.  She is full of wonder and, though her brokenness and heartache at times overtake her, God is turning the ashes of her life into something so very beautiful.  I am humbled by the fact that God made her mine.

 I rejoice that my morning was spent simply in the snow with this beautiful Chinese treasure beside me.  I marvel at how my heart overflows with a love so big for her.

And I was especially thrilled when she wanted to come inside to drink hot chocolate and paint pictures of snowmen because I am not made for the cold.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year..

to have a precious little one in the kitchen helping you.

 I am so very grateful for each and every moment.

 It is always a mess,

but oh what a tremendous blessing she is indeed!