Deuteronomy 4:35

You have been shown these things that you might know the Lord is God besides him there is no other.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Access Denied

Isaiah 26:3 You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts you.

This was the verse that God reminded me of during my quiet time this morning. I memorized this scripture last March and keep it hanging in my kitchen. It popped in my head during prayer time this morning and I felt a peace and trust in the Lord that I have been lacking in the last few weeks. Isn't it just like God to wash over and strengthen me before a blow...

Instead of finding photos of Jill in my inbox as I had hoped I found..Access Denied.

The family who was supposed to be allowed to visit Jill was denied access to the orphanage. Apparently, no family that has adopted from Weinan has ever been allowed to see the orphanage. Each family is given the same reason-they are renovating. Apparently the director has given this reason for years as a family who traveled and adopted there in 2007 was given the same reason.

Devastated! Not as I had hoped. Not what I wanted. Hard. Stinks. God had planned. As God sees fit. I am trusting. I have His peace. To be honest, being a world away from my daughter-this is one of the hardest things that God has ever called me to do. At the same time-one of the most beautiful things He has called me to do. I love this girl, who I really don't even "know", so much that it is painful to be separated from her. How is that? How can you love someone so much that you've never even met? Oh God is so good to give me so much love for this one who isn't even of my flesh, but who God ordained as mine from the beginning. At times, I let myself imagine the day that I finally meet her. Oh the goodness of it. Oh to get to the moment that I don't have to spend so much time missing her and I can spend time getting to know her.

Praying that this time flies by. Praying for God's peace. Praying for trust in the Lord. Just plain praying at all times..

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