It has been a difficult morning with Jill. Her toddler will and determination to do as she pleases has been on display most of the morning. I will admit I was exhausted, but thanking God for all that He has taught me as I was teaching special kiddos for the last thirteen years about staying patient, remaining calm, and handling each situation with grace. (Not so sure the man who saw Jillian throwing herself down while screaming at the top of her lungs because we were leaving the pool thought I was handling it well..BUT I regress.)
This morning led me to my knees. I was a bit desperate to find some magical cure..some potion to make parenting this special treasure a bit easier. Then I came across the cost of a treatment program that I have been researching and wholeheartedly believe in and would love to enroll Jillian in..but the cost is way out of reach.
Which leads me to my conversation with Daddy....
Me-What if it could really fix her? (I hate to admit that I thought this, but I am being brutally honest about the condition of my heart after this morning.)
Daddy says-She's alive right now and if she were still in that place she wouldn't be-that's all the fixing she needs. That money would save another orphan's life.
Me-So much injustice and Daddy is so right. ( I hate to admit this..)
Which leads me to calling another agency that works with China's waiting child program. I talked with two different people at this agency who has been given amazing reviews from all the families that have worked with them and who is highly respected in the field. I discussed our situation. I shared our limitations in regards to China's program and they said those limitations would be no problem. It seems that many other families have been in our situation in the past and have adopted.
They said YES!!
They said YES!!!
The door seems to be open.
We can do this again!
We can do this again!
We are giddy and crazy at the prospect. We are gearing up for a paperwork battle and we are questioning how in the world we are going to be able to afford to go again..OH God laughs. He laughs at my doubts. He laughs at my unbelief in Him to provide. We are filling out paperwork as we speak and so I am not looking-just jumping off this cliff knowing God will be waiting to catch us at the bottom.
Would you pray for God to guide our steps? Would you pray for God to prepare our hearts and the heart of our newest, precious treasure that probably sits and waits already somewhere in China for God to bring us together? Would you pray for our amazing girls? Pray that God would enlarge their hearts to accept a new sibling.
Here We GO...AGAIN!!!!
Y'all we have been on our knees begging God to bring us to a place that would say yes to matching us with another little one. We are desperate to follow God and do this all again and honestly we have hit a lot of closed doors. Yet everyday we pray, we seek God's face, and as a couple we share our hearts with each other about how much adoption means to us and how very much we want to go again. It seems God has heard our hearts and is granting our petition to welcome more home in His name! To God be the Glory! Stay Tuned!
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