I was thinking the other morning. I wake up. Get a bottle. Shower while Jill plays. Feed Jill breakfast. Make darling kiddo breakfast. Make the beds. Play with Jill. Take her to the park. Get her a bottle. Pick up the toys in the living room. Throw some laundry in. Start lunch for my husband and darling kiddo. Feed Jill lunch. Put her down for a nap. Pick up the toys again. Get her a bottle. Feed her dinner... This is it. This is really all there is. I am not going back to school. WOW. This is all there is. It wasn't a bad thought. Just a thought..
Then this morning I spent some time with my darling kiddo, just she and I, doing something that made me aware of just how grown up she is..Made me remember that I only have six more years to have that precious girl under my roof. Made me wish that I could turn back the clock and have just ten minutes of her toddler years back. I was wishing I could be holding that chubby little frame in my lap rocking or playing next to her in the sandbox. (OK you know I cried as I was thinking this. Right there in the car driving her. I am a strange momma.) I was thinking about just how quickly this time has gone and how I wasted so much of it worrying about chasing the American dream, planning for retirement, providing her vacations, driving two cars, buying her multiple pairs of shoes, and paying for all her lessons that I didn't stay home with her to enjoy it. How I wish I could have it back.
So..this is all there is. This is all there is and I am going to give thanks that I am here every minute enjoying it. I am going to give thanks that God is finally moving me to a place where I have a better understanding of what is important (though I have a long way to go). I am going to embrace all the moments that I am given because they are precious moments ordained by God for me to raise these girls up to love, follow, and serve Him.
When All This Feels Too Heavy
4 hours ago