Garage Feast

So lucky to live in this community where Christ is alive and so many are working to reach youth for His name right here in this city. We were blessed to be able to be a part of our local Youth For Christ's garage feast last night. Is there anything better than having your home filled with 100+ (yes that's 100+!!!) teenagers eating turkey and hanging out in every nook and cranny? I don't think so and this wonderful lady agrees with me...



I think that she has been hosting this get together for 6 years now and it just keeps growing. Kids everywhere.....




You know I just love to feed kids. There is just something so special to this momma about providing food for somebody that just says you love and care about 'em. Strange I know, but I love sharing a meal in the name of the Lord. It's a beautiful thing, but even more beautiful are all the adults who came out to reach out in love to these kids by serving 'em up some turkey! BEAUTIFUL!! DELICIOUS!



So blessed to be able to support this ministry in prayer and to be able to watch all that they are doing in the name of the Lord in our community. Praise God!

So Many...

Jill I just want you to know that there is not a shortage of people here who are dyin' to love on you. THERE ARE SO MANY!! One of my favorite things about being in the body of Christ is that there are many people who are complete strangers to you in one moment who you then turn around and love like family in the next. I can't wait for you to experience this for yourself my baby girl! God has blessed us beyond measure with so many of these dear people and they love you already sweet, precious one. What a huge, gigantic blessing they are to me and such an encouragement while I wait to hold you myself!!!

I got a beautiful text from one of my youth this week that said she has been dreaming of you at night and you are beautiful! Dreaming of you, loving you, praying for you from across the world. So many people Jill. So many youth spending their own money to buy a shirt to help get you to us.

So many people who you are affecting and you don't even know them yet. Can you imagine what God can do with your life my dear one? I am praying that God is working in your little heart even now to prepare it to accept His Love from us. Your creator loved and cared about you so much that He planned for you to be placed here with us and all these many, precious believers in the body of Christ who love you enough to be a part of your story. A story that God had planned out from the beginning of time. I feel so overwhelmed to think that God has allowed me to be a part of your story and to raise you to know Him. Praying for you my little one..Knowing God's timing and hand are all over this journey..Longing to hold you though, but getting my strength to run this race from Him who set me on this path.

Fundraising

Fundraising.. That has pretty much been our focus this entire week.

We have gotten the t-shirt sales up and going. It took me many hours to create and alter html codes, call the printer, and get things worked out. (I AM NOT TECHNICAL AND IF YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME I WOULD BE DOING ANY OF THIS I WOULD HAVE CALLED YOU CRAZY!!) Well, we've sold only ten this week and I'm down right discouraged.

The rest of the week, I spent time writing, copying, addressing, and mailing out 200+ letters to our friends and family explaining the opportunity Lifesong for orphans has given us to raise funds through them.

I have to tell you that we are oh so lucky because so many of our bloggy friends have to fundraise from the very beginning. They have to experience what we are just beginning to experience as soon as they begin to take this journey. Oh how I pray for these families. We really can't even begin to understand that as we were given a much easier road to travel on when we received an unbelievable donation to our account just a week into this journey. (Remember that? Read about it here.)

I tell you though I know that this money issue is probably the number one thing keeping most people from saying yes to adoption and I just can't help but think how tragic that is. Tragic-but I understand. The uncertainty at times is just overwhelming. Overwhelming, but an incredible opportunity for God to work and oh God is working here friends. I can't forget what He has done to bring our daughter home already...a $15,000 dollar donation from strangers, a $10 donation from a former student, a $100 dollar donation from dear friends, youth spending their own money on t-shirts to help support us, an opportunity to earn extra income here and there, scrimping/saving and having the money you need even when it seems impossible. God is so good and He is providing in His time every-single-step-of-the-way. Without a doubt His hand is all over this journey and I can't believe that we are even walking this road.

We are so blessed to be able to add this little face to our family. It is incredible to me that you can love someone so much that you don't even know. How I love you my beautiful girl and oh how I can't wait to see you, know you, and put hair bows in your hair. LOL! God will get us all we need to get to you baby girl! Momma will not doubt. I will hold tight to the promise of 1 Thessalonians 5:24 The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it!

Too Much in My Heart Today

So many posts and thoughts swirling in my head. I had a tough day without my Jillian to hold yesterday. Some days are just like that for me. I want her here so desperately. Some days I am lost in the grief of waiting and the uncertainty of it all. Then just like God does, He provides just what I need at just the right time. I sat down to type a post and came across the post here called They Didn't Ask For Reassignment. (It is an incredible post. I hope you check it out for yourself!) Now I am faithfully digging deep in God's word for comfort and reassurance just like the post reminded me. Praise the Lord for the encouragement and reminders He provides me through others.

T-Shirts Are READY!!

The T-Shirt design is hot off the presses and ready to order. We have three colors-military green, ice grey, and aqua sky. They are all $20.00 each. YOUTH SIZES ARE NOW AVAILABLE FOR $15.00. If you need shipping,it will be $3.00 more. The design includes over fifty names of children who have been adopted from China and brought into their forever families for good. In the middle is the verse John 14:18, I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. I am so super excited to start sporting this shirt! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, in advance for all of your support! We could not be bringing our girl home without you. You are a huge part of our story and I am blessed by you!

PS I have never set up a store before, nor would I ever have dreamed I would. Hope it works. If you have any suggestions or difficulties, let me know by email slmaster16@hotmail.com!

Reflections from this Side of the Flat Iron

So I resisted as long as I could, but I finally gave in and bought one of these things.



Here's my story..

The tween years have brought about many changes in our house in recent months. It's like riding a roller coaster in the dark that never stops and never gives you a glimpse of where you are going. One of the recent twists of this coaster has been curly hair. Darling kiddo's hair was straight as a board, then bam it slowly started to get curly. The curls are beautiful! If she just wouldn't fight them, her hair would be so easy. Scrunch and go. Easy and oh so cute. One problem-She hates her hair curly. She tries to brush the curls out leaving it a poofy mess. Then she is unhappy and never leaves the house without a pony tail. Sigh..Daddy says with much wisdom, "Is there any teenage girl who likes her hair?" To which I reply, "Well, no."

Then it happened. We went to get a hair cut and the precious hair dresser who has been trimming darling kiddos lovely locks since she was a toddler says.."Do you want me to straighten it?" A look of exuberance comes over darling kiddo and her whole demeanor changes. She was ecstatic and loved it!!

And so into our lives enters the flat iron. I have resisted it as long as I could because I don't want to make her appearance a big deal. I don't want her to base her feelings of worth on whether or not her hair is straight, but it made her so happy that I broke down and bought the thing requiring her to pay only half. So not aloud, but definitely in my mind there is this part of me complaining about the amount of prep time this is going to add to our routine which is already too tight as it is. I begin to get a bad attitude about having to do this and I begin to have second thoughts about the purchase. Then it happened..Day two of flat ironing I realized it. A half an hour of one on one time in the bathroom flat ironing equals thirty more minutes a day I have to connect with and build into my girl. Day three and beyond of this flat iron saga have brought precious conversation about life, faith, marriage, purity, and so much more. I am only sorry that I wasted day one and two with such a lousy attitude. Sometimes you just need a flat iron to encourage a little bit of intentional bonding.

It gives me an idea. Maybe I should write a book of devos for moms and daughters to do while they are flat ironing. Hey take the opportunity whenever you have it. Embrace every moment that you get to spend together as divine time set aside by God to pass your faith along to your children. Will I ever learn this lesson this side of eternity? Doing my best to embrace it and be the best mom I can be..Take sometime to enjoy being a mom this weekend! Hope it's a good one for you.

Making this House Jill's Home

We recently spent an entire weekend moving and painting. You see, we are working to make this house Jill's home. We have made room for her in our hearts and now we are making physical space in our home that she can call her own. We are having so much fun-painting, buying used furniture to revamp, and choosing decor.


It is a family affair around here.


What a double blessing to be preparing for this precious new daughter with my dear husband and darling kiddo by my side.

Jill we are all so excited to be adding you to our family. Know that we are praying over every detail-even paint color. We love you so precious, sweet girl. You are so loved and so wanted. One day when you read this, I hope that you can see God's hand over your entire journey and feel as blessed as we do to have you as a part of this family. What a divine plan God has for your life my dear child! I feel so lucky to be your momma. I pray that you sense that and that someone there is lovin on you until I can get there. Mommy's coming dear one. Counting the Days.

The Long Awaited Has Arrived

Our last piece-yes last piece-of paper for our dossier has arrived. I can't believe it is finally here!! My dh will be headed with the 50+ pieces of paper tomorrow to be notarized by the Sec. of State. Please pray for my dear man as he gets a bit stressed out in new situations and he is having to go it all alone tomorrow because I have meetings at work. Hopefully he will drop off the papers in the morning and pick them up after lunch! Then, this chapter will be over..The before dossier portion of this journey will come to an end. The paperwork load should lighten significantly after this. (I hope so anyway!) China is officially shut down for several weeks in November due to a holiday and some sort of games. Please pray that doesn't slow us down too much. We are one step closer to holding that sweet girl in our arms. Praying so desperately God will expedite the wait and get her to us ASAP!

P.S. I am going to be needing a new use for the filing system that has been storing these papers for the last five months. Anybody out there want to start their own dossier? Did you know China has 2000+ waiting children a month who need a forever family. Could it be yours? My filing system is available.

Still Waiting

Sometimes things just don't go as you have planned. I had planned to have everything sent to China long before now. When I started this process, I thought there was no way it would take 6 months to get our dossier ready..Well, it's been five and I am still waiting on one piece of paper. So much is out of my control and all the while that beautiful face remains alone without a momma to rock her at night half way across the world! I can't help asking God why the waiting. Inside I know that he is in control, but more than anything I want our daughter here. Needing some prayers for that last piece of paper which was resent on Friday, Oct. 29 because it never showed up the first time it was sent. If it's not here by Thursday, I am driving the six hours to the office to get it myself. What is twelve hours in a car if it means I am closer to bringing my girl home? Please pray!!

Fabulous Fall

It can't get any better than this..

Raking...

Posing...

Leaf fight...

I love these two so much that even raking leaves alongside them is a precious blessing! Can't wait for our little toddler to join us..Don't worry Jill your rake is waiting. Hope you have time to enjoy your family and this beautiful fall weather. It seems like the days are going much too fast!

Unexpected Blessings

When I set out to embark on this journey I really had no idea what to expect. All I knew was God had stirred my heart to add to our family and I was drawn to the Asian face. I had met a handful of people who had adopted, but never discussed it with them. Adoption was not part of our plan and so I had never thought too much about it. It caught us off guard for sure!

Then as I researched and saw the orphan crisis with my own eyes through the images of others-my heart was broken and opened up like I have never experienced before. A passion for adoption, orphan ministry, and those who reach the least of these was born in me. One of the unexpected blessings along the way has been that there are sooo many other families who feel the passion we do.

We met the sweet couple whose video I posted above in our adoption training classes. We entered as strangers-left as families connected by our passion for God, for orphans, and for adoption. Our daughters were born a half a world away just a day apart. Praying for these sweet twin girls and dreaming of the day that we can be in play group celebrating the goodness of our God together!

I opened up my daily Bible on Sunday, Oct. 24 to read this...God's Family of Friends That family is the church of the living God, the support and foundation of the truth. 1 Timothy 3:15 God offers you a family of Friends and friends who are family-his church. When you transfer your trust into Christ, he not only pardons you; he places you in his family of friends. So appropriate on this day-Oct. 24-because we headed over to IWU to celebrate one of those dear friend's birthdays who God has so graciously given us to love as family-not of blood, but through the fellowship that we share in Christ.



Lunch.



Cookie Cake.



Gifts.



Family:) (Minus this sweet girl's momma who is taking the picture.)

I am so very thankful for this young woman and her mother. Thankful to God for them and the many more that he has given us over the years who love on us like family because we are all a part of the church together. Praying that you know this love dear ones and that you have experienced the miraculous love of the family of Christ.

Prayer Requests

PLEASE PRAY!

We are waiting on one piece of paper to complete our dossier. The NBC said that they mailed our I800A approval last Thursday and it is still not here. It is coming from Missouri and should be here already! So frustrating..I want to get these papers to China so desperately so that the official wait can begin.

Fundraising is a must in the next three months and we are anxious to see what God will do. We are praying specifically for direction about what, when, where, and how to raise funds to bring Jill home. He has been so faithful to provide over $15,000 already and we know it will come in His time.

The t-shirt design has been submitted to the t-shirt house and we should be able to unveil it next week. I need to learn how to set up our paypal store this weekend. We covet your prayers and thank you so very much for taking this journey along with us!

Oh Be Still My Heart

I will probably struggle with putting this experience into words, but it touched my heart so very deeply I am going to try. It was Sunday morning and I was seated in my back pew sandwiched between those two older, beautiful foster faces living with my friends that have blessed me beyond words. Oh how I love those girls! The four year old was parked in my lap rocking back and forth and doing her best to be still and quiet during church. This is a nearly impossible task most days and last Sunday was no different.

She rocked to the side and grabbed my precious word of God. She fiddled in the front pocket and pulled out the picture of our Jillian that I carry in there. I will carry it until I get her home! When she saw Jill's picture that wonderful little four year old girl on my lap got the most beautiful look on her face-a look of tenderness, love, and compassion like I have never seen. That sweet girl stroked Jill's face in the picture and looked into my eyes and said,"I hope that I am still here when she comes. I want to play with her." Oh Be Still My Heart! I nearly broke down in tears right there in the back pew.

I am so praying that God moves mountains and that those three foster girls are still here and in our lives waiting for us to bring our Jill home. Those three girls are so loved in my friends' home where they are being raised in foster care and they are so well cared for. I long to see those girls running in the backyard with my Jill laughing, playing, and shouting with joy. I dream of them clapping off beat, praying too loudly, and dancing together during the praise set in Sunday service while we do our best to keep them quiet. Oh What a Glorious Day that Will BE-when we are all together!! Praying those girls are still here and that my Jill is home soon!!

Paperwork Hurdle Cleared!

So this past week was a flurry of activity on the adoption front! We took off for Naperville on Wednesday for our fingerprinting appointment at the US Dept of Immigration. What an adventure! We headed to the big city the night before because our appointment was at 8:00 AM and we worried about being stuck in traffic and missing it. Good thing we did because the address for the immigration office didn't come up on the GPS and the name of the office was random and didn't at all match the name on our summons to the appointment. Anyway, a nice Asian man working at a local gas station knew exactly where immigration was located and so he gave detailed enough directions to get us there. As we arrived, we realized that they must give everyone an 8:00 AM appointment because every one's summons listed the same time. How neat it was though to sit outside this office with other adoptive families and share our journeys. Throw into the mix quite a diverse crowd of multicultural immigrants waiting as well and you've got some interesting sights and sounds to start your day! The fingerprinting appointment that cost us nearly $1,000 lasted only about ten minutes and we were sent on our way wondering how long it would take for the magic piece of paper to arrive to clear us and send us off and running to the next paperwork hurdle. Well our wait was over extremely quickly, because we received approval the next day!!! This is truly miraculous. So, we notarized about 50 pieces of paper on Friday and sent off our official referral acceptance paperwork to AGCI. Next week, we should have our dossier (the mountains of paperwork china requires) state certified in Springfield and off to China! Then the official waiting for China to invite us to pick up our daughter begins! I have been begging God lately in all my prayers to move mountains and get us to our daughter as quickly as possible. I am dreaming that we will hold her before May-a girl's got to dream. Right? Can't wait to see her. Hold her. Smell her. Kiss her. See her with her sissy. Just can't wait!!!

Staring Sin in the Face

Seems like our weekends are never dull here. Last Saturday was no different. We woke early and headed to U of I with a stop at ISU along the way. Our purpose-to catch a day with two more of our sheep who have left us to join the college ranks. Spending so much time on college campuses has certainly left me with an urgent feeling of conviction that I don't spend near enough time on my knees praying for these students. In case you didn't know, sin is alive and well on these campuses. And to be honest I have to tell you as I live my life in this safe, predictable christian environment of mine, it is easy for me to forget just how ugly and evil it is out there. I also forget that this is exactly where I am preparing my daughter and all the students we are lucky enough to have in ministry to be. Walking on the U of I campus and even near the apartments at ISU, it was clearer to me than ever that most of the students living around these precious girls are not believers. In fact, they come face to face with evil and sin on a regular basis. Let's face it-I just don't get that. I don't have to deal with sin in my face every minute and my environment is much more conducive to growing my relationship with Christ. Man, they need our prayers. Our kids are in deeper than we can ever imagine! I need to open my eyes, recognize that, and pray like crazy that God will protect their hearts! Despite this sin and evil so many of our students are thriving and answering God's call to live a life of holiness-to be in this world but not of it. That is exactly my daily prayer for them-to live in this world and not be of it.

Despite coming face to face with this reality fun did abound!


We visited an Asian grocery store to pick up some unusual ingredients for a dish our Jill eats in the orphanage,


had lunch at a yummy Italian restaurant that's use of garlic was so liberal no one wanted to sit next to me,


bought frozen yogurt by the ounce in buckets as big as my head,


and took in the marching band competition where our PCHS dragons took 6th place! My band kids rule!! Hope your weekend is great too!

Yummy Cinnamon Goodness

So, I was lucky enough to spend the night in the church kitchen with my kids (and some even more incredible parent volunteers!!) cookin' up some yummy cinnamon goodness tonight. Delicious rolls good to eat any time of day! Especially good to sell for raising money for our mission trip. Love me some teenagers! I wish I had their enthusiasm and energy. If you want to bake up some delicious cinnamon treats of your own, it's easy.


Mix.


Roll.


Butter, cinnamon and Sugar-need I say more.

Bake, Eat, and Enjoy!!:) Hope you have a great Thursday.

Letting Myself Do It

I'm letting myself do it. In the early morning hours with my cup of hot tea and that precious picture of my daughter, I'm imagining her here. Letting myself hear her little footsteps trotting down the stairs. Letting myself see her chubby hands clinging to mine. Letting myself hear her voice calling momma. Imagining singing hymns to her while I rock her in the darkness and quiet. Imagining sitting around that tea party table, waiting in her room, having tea parties with stuffed animals. Letting myself hear her giggle and say I love you momma. Oh to hear that sound for real and to see those sights, not in my mind's eye, but in the here and now. So many days it seems like the waiting will just destroy me and yet I know that God is using this time to grow this love that I have for that sweet face even more. I just can't believe that I am lucky enough to be bringing this precious face home as my daughter. With everything in me, I pray for this child throughout the day. Please Lord..take care of my girl and prepare her heart to love me as much as I love her. Help me to be a picture of your love to her. Help me to teach her your ways and bring her to the path that you have for her life. I am truly grateful to know you as Savior and feel so unworthy of this blessing..Thank you Jesus that you love us so much and that you made this little girl a half a world away to be mine.

Calling All Families of Chinese Children

We are designing a super cool t-shirt for fundraising purposes. On the front, we want to put the American names of as many children as we can who have been adopted from China. The names will be inside the outline of China with John 14:18 over it. I can't wait to reveal it to you all out there. If you have adopted from China and don't mind having your child's name included on the shirt, leave their American first name only in the comment section for me and I will let you know when the shirts go on sale. Super excited to see how God will work through you to help us bring our girl home!

Our PA IS Here!!

When I started this journey and I would check in on blogs of families going through the phases of their adoption, I was amazed at all the acronyms-PA, TA, LOA, CCAA, NBC??? It all is really a foreign language familiar only to those who have taken this plunge for themselves. Trust me PA is a big deal. It the magic piece of paper from the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs that says we are suitable parents for our Wei Ren Ying. She is one step closer to being ours forever. The best news is that now we can request updates from the orphanage and send her care packages. No guarantee that we will receive any or that she will get our packages we send, but oh is this momma gonna give it a try in hopes that we can catch another glimpse of that sweet face through a shared picture or gain more info through a letter from her orphanage. Praying that God allows us to see her just a bit more clearly through updates in the coming months and that God would prepare that sweet girl's heart for this crazy family.:) Still can hardly believe this baby is mine!! Thanks for your prayers.

The Power of a Praying Momma

So as a momma of an only child who has difficulty connecting with people and forming relationships, one thing that I pray for all the time is that God will bless my darling kiddo with role models who will reach out to her and pursue her even when it is difficult. I pray specifically for young ladies with strong faith who will walk alongside her, try to speak her language, and be an example of Christ. Oh how my prayers have been answered again and again! God is so faithful to provide so many wonderful young ladies to build into my darling kiddo's life. This beautiful face below is off at college now and her weekly meetings with my girl are deeply missed by darling kiddo and by this momma. They usually met for Starbucks once a week and because of these, darling kiddo was turned on to vanilla bean frappuccino.I'm not sure this is a good habit that was passed on to my girl, but you can't have it all!! LOL!



Darling Kiddo is missing her so much that she and my DH decided to head over to IWU for a visit and lunch. They visited Daddy's ole stomping grounds at Wesleyan too. Then headed to Carl's for their famous ice cream!!


The only thing I hated about this trip was that I had to miss it! Praying for this wonderful young lady regardless and love seein God at work in her life. What a precious role model and answer to this momma's prayer she has turned out to be!

Need A Good Cry?

I was reading this week that if just 1 in17 born again christian families would adopt, there would be no orphans in the world. 1 in 17? No orphans left! Every child would have a family! How is it that this born again family has missed this all along? Praying that God would continue to break the heart of our family for what breaks His and that we may truly know His way!

Here is one of those 1 in 17's! They just brought a precious boy home from Ethiopia. If you don't cry watching this, you are made of steel!



Blessings to you!

College Tour Continues

Last weekend we had the joy of visiting two more of the gorgeous girls who are part of our college ministry in their new surroundings (aka Olivet Nazarene University). What a huge blessing it is to see our lovely college kiddos growing in their faith and embracing the new lives God is placing before them. Exciting, scary, and sad all rolled into one..

We were greeted by this sign as we approached the girls' new home. This momma can't help but loving that this new home holds to high Biblical standards for these girls-no boys allowed in their building..period!! DH couldn't even go in for long and I love it!!



We had a wonderful day. We attended a football game, visited their campus bookstore (DH needed to get a hat of course), and took them to a yummy local pizza joint. The pizza was delish and the campus was beautiful. The game however was really cold and the team was really bad, but hey you can't have it all.

So Darling Kiddo and I decided to escape the cold, long, boring game and find a quaint coffee shop for warmth, hot tea, and conversation. Just when you least expect it..I got me some precious time to connect with my girl! What a pleasant surprise this was for me. I actually had my new book, Keeping the Little in Your Girl by Dannah Gresh and we discussed some of the checklists I'd done. She was a goofball as only she can be, but oh what a terrific afternoon. She just doesn't do serious very well!


Visiting two of our sweet college students + one very cold day for a football game = two hot cups of tea and one great opportunity for some intentional mother/daughter bonding. Not exactly the formula my new book laid out for mother daughter bonding, but spontaneity can provide too! Hope you have time to connect with the precious kiddos God has given you this weekend!

Why Adoption?

Here's our story...

My dh and I were married for three years when we decided to add a child to our family. We always knew that we wanted to be parents and with relative ease we had our first child as planned. As she has grown, she has been the most amazing blessing and parenting her has been a true joy for us. We have poured ourselves into her-making certain that she feels safe, secure, and loved. When I entered into parenthood, I really had no idea just how much you could love another person. How your heart could literally overflow with joy when you saw your child! We have been so happy to have our darling kiddo. So often, my feelings for her have given me a whole new perspective on just how much God, our Father, loves us.

We were happy and we were done. That was our plan. We had our darling kiddo when we were in our early twenties. We would be young parents, raise her, and be done early enough that we would still be young enough to walk alongside her when she had children of her own. So here we were well on the way to our plan. We have a beautiful family. A family who loves the Lord, loves each other, and loves spending our time together. We vacationed, spent late nights playing games and talking, read our Bible and worshiped together regularly, prayed daily, and smiled a lot. The perfect picture of family-done!

Then we let God enter in..

Last spring, our good friends opened up their hearts and home to these gorgeous feet! They added three foster girls to their family! (I wish I could show you their faces! They are so precious.) Suddenly, all those verses about the fatherless and orphans-that I have read a million times and passed over-had a face. I had seen the fatherless in these girls and I loved them so much! The verses became personal. I watched these precious, sweet parentless children shown God's love through my friends. I watched their lives transform as they were introduced to the reality of living in a home with parents who were able to take care of them. I listened as they learned to pray, sing praise songs, and were introduced to Jesus. I saw my darling kiddo fall in love with them herself and gain so much by building into their lives too. I experienced for myself first hand-through the loving example of our friends-the huge difference a God loving home can make in the lives of children who are fatherless. Truly these children are the least of these that the Bible talks about in Matthew! Walking alongside these children gave me a glimpse into God's heart that I had never allowed myself to see before.

I will not leave you as orphans. I will come to you. John 14:18

Religion that God our father accepts as pure and undefiled is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27

So, here we are on this journey ourselves. I never would have believed it. I never planned for it. I never knew to hope for it. But wow what a huge blessing it is to be a part of it! Oh, how I feel so closely connected to the heart of God! What a true privilege that God has done this for our family. I praise Him for introducing us to those precious faces that changed our hearts so dramatically and led us to obediently follow His plan for our family.

Orphan No Longer

It is really late and here I am just staring at that face. Oh that face! Her Chinese name is Wei. Wei means valuable and brilliant. I just can't shake the fact that this morning this valuable, brilliant young face with those beautiful brown eyes woke up an orphan. She lives in an orphanage-most likely has many crib mates and gets little attention from caregivers. AN Orphan..She had no momma who called her daughter. Now those same eyes are closing tonight and they are orphaned no more. One less orphan is in this world tonight and this momma's heart is soo full and soo overflowing. I just can't wait to look in those eyes and show her what it means to be accepted into a family. Oh how is it that I am so lucky to be experiencing this? How is it that God has chosen to give this to me? My God is sooo good and soo loving. He continues to just blow me away! To think that if I had disobeyed His call for my life-I could have missed this joy! One less orphan..one less..mine..adopted into our family..my daughter.

Praise the LORD! Praise the LORD! Praise the LORD, O my soul! I will praise the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being. Psalm 146:1

THE BIG ONE!!!

It is with shaking hands, sobbing eyes, and a FULL heart that I ask you to rejoice with our family as we received our referral today!

I got a call at school this morning at 9:15 from my dear hubby calmly explaining that our social worker at AGCI had matched us with a child (WHAT!) and she was emailing her medical file and info to me in 5 minutes. I was anything but calm. Those poor third graders in Mrs. M's class were wondering what I was so excited about and why I was crying! I told my dh to get out to school stat because I didn't want to see her without him. Waiting the ten minutes for him to get there were the longest ten minutes of my life. There on my computer was her file waiting for us to open. OUT OF THE BLUE-the wait to see her face is over! Miraculous that today we laid eyes on our Jillian for the first time!! She is the most beautiful, plump nineteen month old I have ever seen. I wish I could post her picture, but we have to wait until she is officially ours. God is so incredibly good to allow us this tremendous blessing! Oh the love-it is just indescribable!

Where do we go from here? We are taking "her" (Chinese paperwork) to her first pediatrician appointment this afternoon. Her medical file has to be reviewed by a doctor before we officially accept her. We have filled out more paperwork asking for permission to adopt her from the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs. We wait (gotta love that word) for approval. It will probably be six or so months at best until we can get her home, but until then I can see her face and her chubby hands while clinging to the pictures of her everyday.

Thank you so much for walking this journey with us! We are overwhelmed by your love and can't wait to get Jillian home to meet all of you!

Walking This Road For Myself

I have been in youth ministry for about eight years now. I have walked alongside many families who are parenting tweens guiding them into the teen years. I have offered advice, provided an ear, and most importantly prayed for wisdom for parents as they guide their children through this stage. Now, here I walk on this road for myself and the reality that I am having to become accustomed to parenting an almost teenager myself is setting in. I am facing the challenges, realities, and joys first hand nowadays.



That has been apparent this week as we headed to the apple orchard for some intentional family bonding. You see these days, she is tolerant of these trips, but definitely possesses less enthusiasm than in years earlier. She "allows" me to take a few pictures, she picks a few apples, and she smiles off and on through out our time. She even announces with grandeur that she is not interested in going in the playground. (As if I didn't know that!) Still, I know that these are precious times that will all too soon come to an end. What a beautiful gift from God-being able to parent this darling kiddo is!



As we were picking together, I was thinking that just as darling kiddo is examining the apples on the tree and trying to pick the ones best and most suited for our bag-God has picked her to live this life at this time because she is the best and most suited to accomplish His work here and in this generation. Our conversations of this nature never last long, but the seeds of her budding faith are being cultivated. And oh how I treasure every moment and word we spend together with the Lord regardless.

God is at work and I am being as obedient as I can to Deuteronomy 11:19 Teach them (God's words and ways) to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. I understand that she is beginning to go her own way, but I am certain that I have done and am doing all I can to pass my faith along to her. The rest is up to the Lord who is faithful and who loves her even more than I do.

I found a great new resource for parenting tweens. Check out www.secretkeeper.com for Dannah Gresh's new book-Six Ways to Keep the "Little" in Your Girl and a one year devo book for moms and tweens. I am loving these resources. If you know of any others, please pass them along in the comments to this momma-who needs as much help as she can get.

Can't Help Sobbing

Check out this Matthew West video. He was inspired by an adoption story and wrote this new song. The video lets you see into his reason for writing and what the song is all about. Can't help, but sobbing as I feel the words behind this song so deeply. This is definitely the story that our family is walking..One Less Orphan soon enough as God brings our daughter home to us! AMEN!

(Stop the music at the bottom of the page before watching.)

One Less by Matthew West (The Story Behind The Song) from emicmg on Vimeo.

EEEK!!! Another Distraction!

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 26:12

A Mouse that is of whom I shall be afraid!! I spent most of my time at church Tuesday night leading the women's Bible study from on top of a chair. We recently tore down a building in our neighborhood that most likely housed many of these critters and now one has taken up residence in our church building. Well, our little friend decided to make an appearance on Tuesday night while 15 of us ladies were trying to catch a glimpse of David through the study of 1 Chronicles. Keeping our eyes on the word and our minds on David sure was hard with our new little friend darting in and out! Which led me to think about just how many distractions there are in this world. They come at you from all sides and often when you least expect it. We had to fight with all we were to stay focused on the Word for our hour and a half study. We were in church with the intention to study and still there was this distraction.

This is really a picture of my life lately. There have definitely been seasons in my spiritual journey when nothing could keep me from my quiet time and study. I was thirsty for God and desired Him above all else, but there are also seasons when I have to make myself study because I know it's good for me. Now is the one of those have to force myself seasons. I am struggling to keep my study of God's word a priority and each day has been a battle. Despite my less than enthusiastic approach to His Word, God still reveals Himself to me daily through it and I continue to preserve through my studying because I know it is invaluable to my faith. I also understand that it is the primary means through which God speaks to me. The world is full of so much to pull me away from Him and what He wants to tell me. Sometimes I just have to shut the door, turn off the phone, and open up my heart and my trusty blue Bible. I have been fighting with all that's in me to make that choice lately. Praying that you are in a season of your spiritual life when you can't get enough of God and through perseverance, I will join you there again soon! What a treasure we have in our God who loves us despite our own struggles.

(At least, this critter had the opportunity to hear the gospel. LOL!)

Having Patience While Waiting

Have patience..he says. You can't change it..he says. We will go when it tells us..he says. I love my man for his calm, rational call for patience as I am ripping open our letter from the Department of Homeland Security all the while jumping up and down with disgust!! It is true there is absolutely no way for us to control this paper chase and the time that it is taking. He is 100% right when he says that we just have to go when the papers tell us, but I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT! We did finally receive our fingerprint appointment and it is not until October 20..A Whole Month From Now! This process was only "supposed" to take a month to complete. Our paperwork has been there a month already and we can't go for fingerprinting for another month. UGH!! I know that screaming and shouting (or writing in all capital letters for that matter) won't change a thing, but somehow it helps me feel better to let God know that I think this wait stinks. I know He loves me and He knows what is best. I know that He has all of this laid out for His purpose and in His time we will finally hold our daughter, but gosh it's hard. Hoping the days until Oct. 20 fly by and God gives me a good dose of patience to carry me through to the end of this journey.

A Confession to Make

Last week was homecoming week at my darling kiddo's school. Homecoming week means lots of activities. Dressing up for theme days, volleyball games, the school carnival, and the bike parade are just a few of the most fun things they participate in. For darling kiddo this week is fun-filled excitement. For this momma it is a week full of a lot of extra work..buying/making costumes for each day, attending the carnival, and making the decorations for the bike parade.

Fitting all this extra into an already full week is not easy. This is my darling kiddo's last year to participate in the bike parade because she will be in jr. high next year. She really wanted to win. She came up with a theme for her scooter..FBCS (her school name) LAND ON THE EAGLES. She wanted to make an airplane to wear around the scooter so she could be the FBCS pilot landing on the Eagles (our opponent for the big homecoming game). This was all cute and good until I realized how much work, time, and effort this idea would add to my week. I entered into this project with a less than ideal attitude.

About half way through this bike decorating adventure, God spoke to my heart. As my darling kiddo gets older, she needs me less and less. She spends less and less time just hanging out beside me crafting and playing. She has her own agenda, her own independence, and is gaining her own life. My point is..I should have embraced this bike project because she needed me to be in it. It gave me a chance to spend two days alongside her creating her scooter masterpiece. She desperately wanted my advice, needed my help with the spray paint can, and wanted me to be next her the entire time. This is exactly what I say I want the opportunity to do as she grows older. Why was my heart so harden and why was I spending so much time complaining and wishing this event away? WOW..did I get hit right between the eyes. As we were just finishing up and running to Hobby Lobby for some last minute supplies, I said to her as we were walking in..Thank you for letting me help you with this project. I love being your momma and spending this time with you has been precious! She smirked and rolled her eyes a bit, but I couldn't leave it unsaid. Taking time to be a momma should never be a nuisance or a chore. I should embrace every chance that I get to build into her life. I had so many opportunities to talk with her and share my faith with her as we built this plane, but my attitude was so lousy..I almost missed it!!

Lesson Learned (AGAIN) Embrace being a mom and don't let the business of the world steal every moment you have to spend with the precious children God has given you.
P.S. Did you notice the blue ribbon in the picture? We won the bike parade!!

Please Pray

So as minor as waiting on paperwork seems in the scheme of all that is happening in the lives of many around me..it is really getting me down. I had this idealized perception that since this process had been moving along at such a quick pace that would continue. I even let myself think that we could be bringing our daughter home before summer. Well, this week has given me a good dose of reality and reminded me once again (needed this a lot lately) that God is ultimately in control of this wait and I can't do a thing about it!! Our paperwork has been at the NBC for twenty days already and we still don't have our fingerprinting appointment. The entire NBC process was only supposed to take thirty days.. OH THE WAITING!!! Please pray for patience for our family as we keep on waiting.

Amazing Way to Start the Day!

Today is one of my favorite days of the whole year-See you at the Pole. SYATP is an annual event that takes place this time in September around school flagpoles across the country. Students gather before school near their flags to pray. What a tremendous privilege to begin our day in prayer with the students we love so much!! I was at Broadmoor this morning with some of my favorite young ladies and a few others who joined.



As classmates walked by, there we stood-around the flagpole-hand in hand praying aloud for those who don't know Jesus, the teachers, the administrators, our country, and anything else God laid on our hearts. There I was surrounded by my twelve and thirteen year old girls whose faith is so beautiful and so inspiring doing exactly what God calls us to do and that is live out our faith by being a light to all around us.



What a HUGE and BEAUTIFUL blessing it is to live life alongside these girls. They are amazing! The Lord is written Himself all over them and I am so lucky to be able to help bring them along in their faith. Love you Ladies!!!

I, I, I!!!

So last night the shared list of children eligible for adoption was released by the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs and while it would have been truly miraculous that we would have received a match so quickly..I still dreamed we would. With everything in me, I want to know this child! I want to see her face and etch it into my heart. I want to know who she is and I want to be able to put a timeline on this journey. I so desperately want to call her daughter and hear her say momma. I want to know that she is fed, cared for, and loved. I want her to know how much we love her. I want to know her needs so that I can begin to prepare. I want..I want..I want..Instead, I am still filled with so much that is uncertain and so many questions. There is an awful lot of I in my heart today and while there are times that all I want is all Jesus wants-it doesn't happen very often. Usually, I am very busy watching out for me and keeping my eyes and heart on what I want and desire-not on God's plan for me. While I know that this waiting is God's plan and He is in control, some days it just plain hurts to not have Jill here. Today is one of those days... When that is the case, I need to focus more on the Lord and less on me- trusting that He knows Jill by name already and He has ordained this road for us.

For I know the plans I have for you" says the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Without Words

This is one of those times that I am so overwhelmed by what God is speaking through a book that I just finished that I am without words. I just finished reading The Hole in Our Gospel by Rich Stearns. To say that this book challenged me to see Jesus' heart more clearly and live out the gospel differently would be an understatement. I can't recommend this book enough.. Check out this interview with Rich..Worth the ten minutes.



How will I respond to this challenge? God is doing some radical, scary stuff in our hearts at my house. Exciting but whoa what an adventure this is...Praying that God continues to keep my eyes open to His heart and that I will begin to answer His call to reach the poor and least of these.

Hot Potatoes

So last weekend our youth ministry had the opportunity to serve at the Marigold Festival in the beautiful town in which we live. The booth that our church sponsors serves baked potatoes complete with cheese, chili, onion, butter, sourcream..YUM! We bake 'em and serve 'em up all weekend to the masses.



The money that we make is used for our youth mission fund. Because it supports our youth trip, we had lots of our great kids out helping this weekend!!


(LOVE THEM!!)

The greatest thing about this weekend was some of the hardest workers weren't our youth at all. These three young ladies (including my darling kiddo)don't benefit at all from the funds raised because they are too young to go on the youth mission trip, but that didn't keep them from serving.


They were working hard to be the hands and feet of Jesus all weekend. You girls rock! We appreciate you sooo much! Can't wait to have you in youth group!

Closer

We are one piece of paper closer to our daughter. We got our confirmation letter from the NBC today. The next piece of paper to arrive will give us a date with the fingerprinting peeps-probably in Naperville..which means another trip to the city! Wahooo!! Then, we wait for the background check via the fingerprints and clearance from the US government. We are closer yet we still have many more pieces of paper to go until we hold Jillian in our arms. Getting her home is all we are talking about in our family. We are all getting very excited!! (Even darling kiddo-who shows little to no emotion about most things has been smiling at the thought!) Can't help, but smile when I think about chubby toddler hands in mine!! As much as I adore being a momma to an almost teenager-Oh how I look forward to be a momma to a little girl again! We are sooo very blessed that God is allowing us to live out this adventure! Please pray that all continues to go along as God has planned for us and that we will be accepting of and patient in His plan.

JOY

Do you have people in your life that you love so much you just can't help feeling JOY when you get to spend time with them? My darling kiddo is one of those people in my life. We spent the last two days together, just she and I, at a volleyball tournament in Chicago. We didn't go to Disney World, spend lots of money, or visit any high tech thrilling destinations. We just mostly sat side by side in a gym surrounded by her teammates watching volleyball games, talking, and eating fast food. BUT what a wonderful two days it was because she was next to me. Kiddo + me + a crew of her giggling, sweet friends = pure joy to this momma!

I can't imagine my life without her and I can't imagine not having her as my daughter. I can't imagine not being able to sit by her, talk with her, and hug her. I can't imagine not being there to share her struggles, joys, and my faith with her each and every day! I can't imagine living out circumstances in which I would be forced to give her up. I can't imagine it, but that is exactly what my adoptive daughter's birth mother is going to have to live out. These are the exact circumstances that she is going to be walking. These are the circumstances that God is going to allow her birth mother to face in order to bring her to me. Adoption is a process that involves a good dose of loss-especially for Jillian's birth mother. Jill's birth mother is not going to know the joy of sitting with her in a gym for two days watching volleyball. She is not going to have the chance to share her struggles or victories as she lives out this life. While I don't now know, or may never know, the circumstances surrounding Jillian's birth mother's decision to let her go so that she might have hope for a better life-I know for sure it couldn't have been an easy one to make. I have been praying for this sweet mother a lot lately as I can't imagine the emotion she is experiencing. As I think about this woman and all that she is going through, I am praying that she has some people in her life that can pass along the greatest Joy I know-that is a relationship with my Savior. I am praying specifically that God will put people in her life to lead her to Him, to give her healing, and to ease her own pain. I love her with a love that I don't even understand because she has embraced so much loss so that her sweet girl could become mine. I pray that God's hand will be all over this story and that Jill will feel the incredible, sacrificial love of God because of her birth mother's sacrificing love for her.

A Wonderful Wednesday!

So on Wednesday, I had the pleasure of watching a friend's little girl. She is absolutely adorable, active, and full out toddler! My house looked like a toy store exploded in it and I LOVED IT!!! This evening just reminded me of the adventure we are in for.. Oh How I have forgotten..Everything full must be emptied, everything high must be climbed, and everything new must be explored. She must have asked why a hundred times and it was out right precious!!!!

The most wonderful thing about Wednesday was watching my darling kiddo love on this little girl. She was so worried about her falling and keeping her safe that she followed this little girl around all night as if she were the great protector. She tried to entertain her, play games with her, and even tried to teach her to play the piano. One of the things that I most look forward to when Jill gets here is seeing my darling preteen girl become a big sis. I love watching her lovin' on other little kiddos! It is worth so much to this momma's heart..PRICELESS!! I know that God is gonna use my girl in the life of her little sis! I can't wait to see it! What a wonderful role model she will be.

One thing is for sure..there is some baby proofing that is gonna need to be done around here! Don't worry Jill we are working on getting this grown up environment all set for you. We'll have it ready in time for you to come home! (Just can't wait for that moment!!)

Stillness

Darling Kiddo and DH are at a volleyball game in Rockford tonight and our house is very still. This just doesn't happen. The quiet is overpowering and while I enjoy being alone in the quiet on rare occasions-it is not a place I choose to hang out. This summer on our youth mission trip one of the devo days was titled:More Be. Less Do. This is a tough concept for me as I am very much a doer. My grandma always says I am going to run myself to death. To which I often respond-Well then, I can rest when I'm dead. While most of what I do is good-there is something really useful about that devo lesson. When I am free to simply be-He is more easily found. God is just found in stillness and the quiet..It's all over scripture. I think of the story of Elijah who found God in the gentle whisper and the Psalm that reminds us BE STILL and know that I am God. I know that there are a good lot of times that I am simply too busy doing that I miss God altogether. So instead of loathing the stillness and wishing it away, I am choosing to open my Bible and dig deep. I am going to choose to be still and listen for God.. I know that when I have a toddler in foot-these times of stillness are going to be even rarer than they are now...Can't wait! Until then, I wil embrace the stillness..:)

Inspired

We were able to spend an amazing day with two of our college girls in their new surroundings in Chicago yesterday. To say that I am inspired by the faith, strength, and steadiness of these two wonderful young ladies would be an understatement.

They both left our small area and headed to the big city for school this year. With the Lord anchored securly in their hearts, they have set out into this world intending to walk strongly and tirelessly for our Lord! They each have moved and amist new surroundings and people-they haven't missed one Sunday in worship. They haven't missed a beat. They are working hard to stay connected to God and the church.

We were able to visit Willowcreek Community Church which is the new home church for one of our girls. We walked in with thousands of other people and to say that I was intimidated would be a gross under exageration of how I was feeling. I had no idea where to park, sit, go..nothing. And to think one of my sweet girls walked in alone two Sundays ago-sought out the twenty something ministry-and activly pursued a chance to worship God when she had only been in the city a few days is soooo encouraging. What an awesome faith..


The other fingured out the complicated train system..took it into the city..and met up with the only other soul she knows in the area to go on another train to worship!! What an example these young people are to me sometimes. Would I seek out worship so immediatly and go to such uncomfortable lengths to get there or would I have put it off a few Sundays while I settled in? I am inspired by these girls and praying them on each and every step of the way!!

The Check IS in the Mail

Addressing the envelope, signing the forms, and wrapping it all up!WOW!! Paperwork is ready and off to the NBC.



The check is in the mail!! All that is left to do is wait for them to approve our paperwork so that we can send it on. This is the last stop for our paperwork in the US. After the NBC, we are officially ready to send our paperwork to China. WOOOHOOOO!! If all continues at this rate, we may see her face around the first of the year and be bringing her home this spring! God has sure moved this along and I am grateful!! We are coming Jill! You have no idea how much we love and want you here baby girl! Hold on...We'll be there soon!

It's Here!!!

So, my husband has known since sometime this afternoon that our home study approval(the one piece of paper we have been waiting for that has been keeping us from moving on to the next step)was here and he just casually mentions it tonight about 7:00 PM!! Can you believe him?? We were with the teens in youth group when he told us and to say I shouted with joy would be an understatement.



The most amazing thing about this journey so far is how God's hand is all over it. You see I filled out most of the paperwork months ago. Got it all done in one shot. All the letters, forms, everything we needed for every step. I figured that I might as well do it instead of waiting for the paperwork to be needed. That way, the papers are just waiting nicely in my filing system to be sent off. The only tricky thing about this is that you have to date everything. Well back in July when I wrote the letters to the National Benefits Center (that is the next place our paper work is headed), I wrote September 1, 2010 on the top..hoping and praying that by Sept. 1 we would be ready to send it off. Well today is Sept. 1 and I thought my "deadline" was passing by without notice. BUT we received our paper today from our Home Study Agency. We are indeed ready to mail off the next round on Sept. 1st as I had hoped!! God is so good and this is just another example of how His hand is all over this. To think, I spent a good fifteen minutes this afternoon in tears over this wait and sulking that my Sept. 1 deadline was about to pass while all along..He was waiting for me to discover that He had indeed opened the door for us again! Why is it that I doubt and become discouraged so easily? The waiting and trusting is so hard, but oh so worth it!





We headed to Starbucks, as a family of three, for a coffee treat at 9:30 tonight to celebrate. Hope our trips as three will soon end and we will have an Asian toddler in toe sipping right along side us sooner than later!!

Crowded on the Couch

So we were all jammed on the couch last night wrestling around and I thought (and said out loud) soon we'll have one more to fit on this couch!! (Soon is a relative term as the waiting at this point is taking forever it seems.) Then my darling kiddo switched my cell phone to international time mode and we checked the time in China. We were getting ready to go to bed but half a world away it was almost lunch time. Which leads my mind off and running in a million different directions..Is Jillian born yet? Has she been abandoned? Does she have someone to feed her lunch? Who is holding her? Does she have any surgeries or medical procedures that she is facing without her momma by her side? And then the tears start to flow. There are days that the waiting is bareable and then there are others that just rip me to shreds. My heart is broken that my beautiful girl is living this part of her life without me while I wait for government agencies to shuffle paperwork!

I can only rest in knowing that God has ordained all this for us and that His plan is perfect. Until my time comes, I find peace in knowing that there are so many other families walking the same road that I am on. I love being a part of their journey and sharing in their joy as they are united with the children. This is an awesome new gotcha day video from a family that has been home just about a month. Sweeeet!

Our Journey to Elijah Mihretu - Ethiopia Adoption from Amy @ Filled With Praise on Vimeo.