Rough Morning

We finished up the paperwork at the Civil Affairs Office and paid the fees so officially the China side of things for Jill's adoption are finished. WOOOHOOO!! It was a difficult morning though as Jill only likes being in the room on the bed. Anytime we leave or we have to pick her up she is very uneasy and cries uncontrollably. In the room, she is doing well. Allowing us to cuddle her while she sleeps and rub her little body. She is quiet as mouse though and while I feel like she has the strength to walk, she hasn't shown us that yet. She is so over stimulated though outside of the room. Way too much for her to handle. We tried to eat breakfast this morning and Sean had to bring her back up to the room.

Speaking of breakfast, Jill finally took a bottle about lunch time. I didn't make her take it in my arms because I was so desperate for her to eat something. I sat beside her and held it for her while rubbing her legs. She ate almost the whole thing. She is so small and I don't think she has ever had solid food. She doesn't even know what to do with it in her mouth.

She has an infection in her left ear that is really unpleasant and bothering her a lot. I will be so glad to take her to the doctor in Guanghzou on Saturday. She is also covered with bruises. So much healing that needs to take place.

Love watching Daddy with her. Darling Kiddo even spent some time rubbing her back while she slept today. Jill is such a treasure and one of the hardest parts of the questioning this morning was hearing the official say that she is significantly delayed and do we still want to adopt her. Of course, we do. Brought this momma to tears. Regardless of her delays, God has given her to us to raise up in Him the best that we can. Loving this little girl like crazy tonight and rejoicing that God has brought us together and we don't have to miss her anymore.

New Life

I want so desperately to describe the moment we first saw her with adequate words-there simply are just none! We were in a small in descript government office with a hand full of Asian officials and she came in already crying her eyes out. In three sections or less, she was in my arms and I was her momma. She was filthy, smelly, distressed, and crying BUT it was one of the most beautiful moments of my life. God placed this tiny little, hurting life in my care and instinctively she became mine. Daddy was soon by my side rubbing Jill's back and trying to soothe her, but she was really upset for a good hour or so. She was being ripped out of everything she has ever known and so I knew it would be hard on her. Darling Kiddo was great. She took pictures at the office and is settling in to the big sis role.

Here is what we know about our girl so far..

She sucks her thumb. I mean really sucks her thumb.

She loves to be tickled.

She snorts when she giggles.

She is tiny-barely filling out the 12 months cloths and growing into 18. She is swimming in most of the clothes I brought for her.

She is fascinated with lights-outside,inside and all around!

She hasn't eaten a thing since we got her last night. Please pray about this.

She is really quite mobile and moved from the sitting to standing position on her own. I bet she is walking, but she hasn't shown us yet.

She thinks her daddy is so funny. (Don't we all.) He was the first to really crack her up.

She hated her bath, but loved being massaged with lotion when she was done. She likes touch a lot and is responding well to it..

She has slept through the night so far although it is just now 2:30 AM.

She fits perfectly with us and was created to be ours by God from the beginning.

Please pray for her and us as we care for her. We love you and can't wait for you to meet her. What a blessed Easter indeed!

We Are On Our Way

taking off in less than an hour. plenty of waiting time to consider all that is in store for us in the next two days. so beyond thrilled to be able to be a momma again. pray for us as dear hubby is holding it together while waiting to board the dreaded plane. also pray for a smooth transition at shanghi as we will be navigating alone and cant speak mandarin. good times. quite an adventure.

Welcoming Us Home

Some have asked if we are inviting people to welcome us home when we fly in. We would love to have you there if want to make the trek to Chicago O'Hare.

Here are the details..

We are coming in on Thursday, May 5 on American Flight 154 @ 4:15 PM if all goes as planned.

We Are So Ready!!

Car seat installed.

High chair waiting.

Diapers and books in the livingroom.

Her rocking chair is in place.

Gates installed.

Now all we need is her here. :) Three more days until we meet her. Can you believe it?

What to Say?

After months of waiting, the day is finally here and tomorrow afternoon we will begin the first leg of this journey by checking into a hotel in Chicago. WOW! There is so much on my heart and so much that I am thinking that it is difficult to put into words. I know though that God knows every inch of my heart and my mind and that He is in it all. In it all because with out Him this journey would never be. Blessed beyond measure to know the Lord tonight.

His blessings continue to be poured on through His people. So much encouragement received even today.

A six grade girl and her little sis dropped off $22.50 for our journey to Jillian even tonight. They made duct tape pens and sold them for my girl's sake. Thanks Abbie and Makayla. :) You rock!

A high school senior in youth group praying over us, for safety, for our new daughter. One of our youth (whom we are supposed to lead) praying over us..

A card received in the mail from another youth expressing her heart so beautiful that I can't read it without bawling.

Another wonderful young youth who took time to write me a letter and share her heart. One who is always sure to tell me how much she loves me.

Sweet youth leaders who love our kids and stepped up to teach, preach, and take over while we are gone. A leader who even came right from signing their first mortgage to be there tonight.

Oh Lord as unworthy as we are..You are so good to provide so many who love us and love our little girl who is waiting a half a world away. Blown away continually at the way that you show us your love through the people of God walking alongside us on this journey. You are so good! You are so good!

Packing, Packing, and More Packing

Her sweet dresses, those tiny socks, and even her diapers are waiting to make the journey to her. Her momma is waiting too-ever so anxiously. Only two more days until we start the first leg of our journey. Oh the JOY!!

Please pray for..

DH is terrified to fly and has never even considered doing it before this trip. Sixteen hours on a plane should break him in pretty well being it's his first time.

our family's health that we would not get sick and we would be 100% in order to take care of Jill's needs when we are united with her.

for a clear communication of our love to Jill and her heart's healing.

that we will bond securely as a family.

that we will survive this traveling adventure, jet lag, unknowns.

AND ABOVE ALL that God would be glorified through our lives and that others would see Him in us.

Off (and Not Running)

Yesterday was my last day at work! WAHOOOO!!! I am so blessed to get seven weeks paid off and then the summer to bond with Jill. I know we will both need it to get really attached to each other.

So I am off, but not running. Isn't it funny how having less to do makes you feel like you don't have to do anything? Maybe its just me but I run like crazy and plan out every minute when I'm working because with my life-I have to or I won't fit it all in. I have been up 4 hours already and since I'm not working..I have been moving slow. I should enjoy this pace because I think when my precious girl is home and running around-slow may not be in my vocabulary. (Simply can't wait!)

Please pray for the last minute details. I can't believe we are so close now. God continues to provide all that we need and I am in complete awe of His provision.

Awake!

I have been up since 3:30 AM thinking that next week-at this very time-WE WILL HAVE OUR DAUGHTER!!!!!!!! I can hardly stand it!! I could leave tomorrow, but we have to wait. We appreciate your prayers as we travel. :) Have a blessed day of worship.

Her Last Saturday Alone

Dearest Jill,

With daddy and sissy snuggled next to me this morning all warm and cozy...I said, "Today is the last Saturday that we ever have to wake up without Jill home." After all these months sweet girl, there is only one more week until I take you in my arms. To say that I am overwhelmed at the thought that God has allowed me to become your mother is a huge understatement. I love you so dear one and you are beyond precious to me. I dream of the day that you will be walking next to sissy and I through the mall picking out new shoes or trying on clothes as we did last night. I think of all the birthday cakes, Christmases, and many other memories that are ahead of us. Darling child, you are so loved and I long to tell you that. I want you to know how God has such a plan for you and I pray daily already for your salvation. I can't wait to introduce you to the Lord, read Bible stories to you, and teach you to pray. I can't wait to learn who you are..what makes you laugh, hold you when you cry, and see the excitement in your eyes when you learn something new. I wonder... will you love sports like your big sister, will you like to cook with mommy, and will you keep your hair bows on or throw them to the ground? Above everything, I just want to see you smile and know that you feel loved and part of our family. Just seven more days my baby..seven more days until you are placed in your family forever. Praying they fly by and we are to you in the blink of an eye. Until then, know that we are loving you from across the world and buying you tutus that you are going to look sooo cute in.

I love you.

Momma

A Shower for Jill

Oh the goodness of it all. It is just far too much for me to comprehend. A shower for my Jill! Thank you dear friends. You mean the world to me. How I wish I could show you my thanks adequately. How I long for you to understand what a huge part of this journey you are and how I could have never done this without the encouragement, support, and prayers you have so readily offered.

A beautiful cake...


Sweet gifts...


A shower crasher...


Wonderful friends...


God is so good! In ten days, we will meet our little girl. Can you phathom what the Lord has done? I continue to stand in awe of all that He is doing. One amazed and blessed momma I am!!

Our flights Are Booked

We received final confirmation from the US side of things and we bought our plane tickets. We will be heading out for China on the 22nd. Oh the thought of it makes me want to jump out of my skin!!!!!!!!! I can't believe we made it here!! We are really going to see that sweet face and hold her littleness in our arms in just 12 short days. Oh God is so good!!

For Real? On Easter!!

Just received an email late last night that the Ch*nese government has moved our day up. Yes, they have decided we should get Jill sooner. Can you believe it? We will meet Jill in Xi'an on Easter-Sunday, April 24.

The most miraculous thing is that I have a dear, praying friend who has told me since early fall that she had clearly felt God telling her that we would have Jill by Easter. When she said that I continued to say... that is impossible...that would be unheard of super fast..there is no way. Then when we got our intial date-she said well it is still Easter here when you get her. Indeed, it was going to still be Easter here..BUT..God is so much more powerful than halfway because we got an email yesterday evening saying we would indeed have our daughter on Easter. It will be about 3:00 AM here Easter morning when she is placed in our arms for good. What a memorable Easter indeed. What a powerful picture of the blood of Christ and the power of our God to redeem what is broken. Praise God for this gift! An Easter momment that we will never forget.

Sharing this journey with you has been a blessing. If you would, continue to pray as we pack, prepare, and plan. We are so lucky to have so much support. China here we come.

WE ARE GOING TO CHINA!!!! TA IS HERE!!!

April 25 our daughter will be in our arms for good. I will celebrate Mother's Day with her home!!! Our TA arrived just 6 days after our Article 5. Super Fast!! Almost unheard of. My socialworker called today and commented about how fast this has gone and how lucky we are..She is so right. God is so good and He has lead us to Jill at top speed. I really can't believe that this is really happening!!! Please pray as there are a million details to take care of and a little bit more money to square away! God is so good! We are so beyond excited!!!!

Blessings Abound

We were sharing this week with friends during our sale set up about the adoption process. The paperwork, the ups and the downs, and the cost. DH said that he knew the cost was an issue for most people and that he wished it didn't cost so much. I said..BUT if it didn't cost so much God wouldn't have had to show up in such a miraculous way. God has provided us with as much money as my DH makes in a year already to bring this precious girl home. He has done it! With man this is impossible BUT with God all things are possible! I am forever changed by this journey and all that God has done.

Here are a few of the most miraculous ways that God has shown up in the last week...

Sweet girls (ages 9-12) working by my side day after day..cleaning things to be sold, moving things around, painting signs, making posters...to help get Jill home.

Generous friends and fellow believers making donations to our paypal account all week-$1,000, $250, $300, $500, $100, $150-in tears and humbled each time I see just how many people are willing to partner with us to get Jill home.

So many who parted with stuff-some of their best stuff-to sell for my girl's sake. There were more than 30 families that donated stuff to us.


My incredible, amazing friends-who have faithfully prayed and walked this journey right alongside me-waking up and coming to work the day of the sale at 6:50 AM and staying until after 3:00 PM. They took money all day, packed up, and helped in a thousand ways!!! I am blessed beyond words by your friendship!


Two sweet girls and their grandma making cupcakes to sell.


A precious sister, and adoptive momma, selling lunch for us. A friend of hers, that I had never even met, coming along and donating too-all to get Jill home!!


A wonderful ministry in town offering the use of their building, handing us keys, and asking for nothing in return so that we could have a great facility to have our sale in.


So many people who turned out for the sale. Many who came because they know and love us and wanted to support us. Thank you! Many others who were adoptive families themselves. Blessed by the many who shared with me glimpses of their own journeys and how God has used them. Sweet to see the little hands putting a dollar in the buckets for the orphanage donation and music to my ears to talk to the seven year old whose foster mother has adopted her.


Seriously bent over in awe of God's grace and goodness this week!!!! He has provided over $8,000 in just one week-seven days..I wish there were words to adequately describe my God and how I love Him. Speechless..I am speechless..Thinking of the words of David as he is speaking with God in 2 Samuel "Who am I and what is my family that you have brought us this far?" Oh Lord that all could experience you in their lives this way!! How blessed I am to know you and how excited I am to see what you have in store for my girl's life. I Praise You Jesus with all that I am!!

Drum Roll Please...

The totals are in and while I know God is beyond powerful, amazing, miraculous, and incredible..HE CONTINUES TO BLOW ME AWAY!!! Our total from this week's fundraising sale is... That is right-$8,011!! Can you stand the goodness of God? I simply must take time this week to revisit the hundreds of blessings that God poured on through His people as a result of this sale. We are almost there. Almost to our daughter my friends and without each and every one of you it simply wouldn't be possible. From the bottom of our heart..THANK YOU for your willingness to be used by God to get our girl home.

Please Pray

Tomorrow is our Sale.

7:30-3:00 @ Camp of Champions Building

3009 Broadway Pekin, IL

Serving Lunch Gondolas, chips, dessert for $5.00

We have soooo much to sell! Lots of everything 40+ tables. Please come out and check it out!

It has been so busy and let me tell you my body is physically exhausted. We have been going, going, going...

All this business is making my quiet time to sit, pray, and read the Bible even more cherished because it is the only time I get to sit down. I had some sweet time alone at Camp yesterday morning with my Bible and the Lord. I prayed specifically for so many things, gave praise for so many people, and asked God to stay present in that place-to change lives, meet our needs.... You name it-I prayed it. Love that I can do that. Love that God invites us to do that.

Could I ask you to stop and pray?

Pray for our Jill. Pray that she is being cared for until we get to her. Pray that her heart is being readied to join our family. Pray that she will grow to accept Christ as her Savior.

Pray for Darling Kiddo. Pray that she will be a loving big sister. Pray that she will feel our love and just how special she is as her world is turned upside down in the next few weeks.

Pray for DH and myself. Pray that will be the parents God intends for us to be. Pray for renewed strength as working this week on our feet has us exhausted. Pray that we continue to grow in God's word and that we would pass that along to our children.

Pray for those who attend the sale. Pray that God might open their eyes and hearts to the orphan and that they might respond by getting involved to serve the least of these.

Praise Him for the way He is providing for the our family and how He is bringing Jill home!

We are blessed by you! Thank you dear ones for your prayers.

Can't You See Her There?

Can't you just see her there? Snuggled up in her bed-her very own bed-with momma, daddy, and her big sissy on Saturday morning before our doughnuts.

Can't you just see her there? Sitting at her big sissy's old tea party table with those big stuffed animals "pouring" tea into their glasses.

Can't you see just see her there? Making her daddy dinner with her plastic dishes and serving it up to him. Making her big sissy "eat" next to her baby dolls.

Can't you just see her there? Digging in her toy box looking for that particular little people toy with those fat, chubby toddler hands.

Can't you just see her there? Looking through those mountains of books on her shelf so her momma can read her just the right one before bed.

Can't you just see her there? Rocking with her momma each night before bed and listening to her momma try to sing the same songs (be it ever so off key) she used to sing to big sis.

Can't you just see her here with us? Orphan no more. Belonging to a family. Our family. Her family. Having a momma, daddy, big sis, and so many others who love her so much. I can see it. I dream of her here. I just said to daddy today..In six weeks, we could have our daughter home. After all the waiting-IT. WILL. REALLY. BE!!! My heart is exploding tonight. What a blessed day. So blessed that it deserves a post of its own. Maybe tomorrow. Until then, this momma is pondering the wonders and blessings of the Lord in her heart. Oh He is so good and I love Him so! Pinch me-I don't deserve this journey. Blessed beyond words!!

Oh-My-Word!

Oh-My-Word we have a lot of stuff for the sale on Saturday. The trailer is full from floor to ceiling and this is only the first load. I am sure there will 4 times more than this initial load. :) Here are the sale details..

Huge Indoor Sale

to Benefit Masterson Family Adoption

Saturday, April 2--

7:30 AM to 3:00 PM

@Camp of Champions Building

3009 Broadway Rd. Pekin, IL

Serving Lunch for $5.00 Gondola, chips, and dessert

We have antiques galore: glassware, china, quilts, furniture, longaberger baskets, baby items, designer purses (some brand new), dressers, oak desk, oak entertainment centers, glass end tables, antique trunk, antique rocker, white wooden storage cabinet with doors, little tykes vanity and nursery, battery powered 4 wheeler and cart, girls clothes, puppet theatre, ipod doc, tv, VCRs, miter saw, router, tools galore, SO MUCH MORE!!! Please pray for a crowd to come and buy all our stuff.....

If you are from this area, could you please help us pass the word by posting this on your blog or facebook? We still need a lot of money to travel in 6-7 weeks because the airfare has skyrocketed BUT God is bigger than the gasoline crisis and He desires that we get our girl home.. HE WILL PROVIDE. Can you be His hands and feet by spreading the word for us? We are blessed by you!! Absolutely blessed. Thank you so much for your willingness to help us get our little one home and into our family!

P.S. Her room is done and thanks to so many people's gifts it is soooo cute. I will post it next. Can't wait to see her little face in her kitchen, building with her mega blocks, and having tea parties with her stuffed animals. I am covered in goosebumps at the thought. Never thought this little girl would ever be part of my story, but my God is bigger than I ever imagined and this journey belongs to him. Praise Him! Praise Him!

We Are Comin'

The visas arrived....

The new luggage is purchased....

( Upside down! UGh! Just turn your head.)

Thanks to grandma and grandpa who provided this cool new zebra print luggage to darling kiddo. She thinks it will be easy to spot on the baggage claim. I agree!

WE ARE REALLY GOING TO CHINA in the next 6-7 weeks!!! For real, we are coming and Jill will be ours. Can you stand it? Can you really stand the goodness of God? I am bent over in awe of all that He is done and is doing. He just keeps heaping His blessings on us. Jill-we're a comin' baby. We're a comin'.

Moving On (TA to Come)

The issue with the paperwork has been resolved. The LOC was resent using a different overnight carrier to Guanghzou and we are moving on.. On track just about where we thought we would be before this bump. We should be traveling in May!!! This is fabulous news and I am thrilled beyond measure. Please pray that we get to our baby girl ASAP. I miss her so and want her to be with us.

Catching Up

It seems like weeks since I posted last Tuesday about our delay. We have had a full week and are still waiting for news. Please continue to pray that God will move mountains and bring us quickly to our baby girl.


In the meantime, we have the joy of the Lord that is present in our hearts in spite of our circumstances. The rest of week looked like this......

National Pie Day was on Monday! Darling Kiddo made a chocolate cream pie (her favorite) to take to school for extra credit. Delicious extra credit!!!!

Off to Chicago to go to the.....

This was truly an adventure. So many beautiful Chinese faces all around us. We were definitely the minority. We waited two hours (heard it was a six hour wait the day before) for our chance to get to the window to apply for our visas. The woman at the window was kind though and even asked us about our Jill.

Then off to the new American Girl store. This would have been the highlight of our trip when darling kiddo was younger. These days, its just a chance to "remember when" as she is way too grown up to buy dolls now. We did buy the Chinese New Year outfit for our Ivy doll though. We also awed over the sweet matching clothes for the Asian Bitty twins. Hope those are coming to my house to play with soon!!!! So precious. Simply can't wait!


Darling Kiddo also had Civil War day at school. She dressed as a nurse and even took her lunch in a metal pail just like during civil war times. She loved it as history is her favorite subject.

Hope your week was as full as ours. Happy Sunday to you!

New Mercies

Even though it is not well with my circumstances, it is well with my soul. Well because I know the love of a heavenly Father who has gone ahead of me and who has this adoption journey planned out from beginning to the end. A Father who loves Jill even more than I do. Who cares about her being placed in this family even more than I do.

Don't stop praying. I am feeling them and the new mercies of my heavenly Father that are new each morning. Looking forward to morning, but for now- I am camping in His Word for some much need reassurance.

Here is what the LORD is speaking...

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion, " says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD. Lamentations 3: 22:26

Some Bad News

We got a call from our agency today to tell us that-while we sent our LOC nearly two and half months ago-it was never received by the CCAA. We are not sure how this is all going to play out. They may wait for the original which they tracked down through UPS to arrive from Beijing (where it has been sitting for the last two and a half months) or they may issue us a new one to sign and return. Regardless, we are waiting and stuck. One thing we are sure of, this will delay our travel significantly. The thought of it is more than my heart can bare tonight. I REALLY WANT HER HOME!!! Just keep thinking.... Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord. Please pray for Jill and pray for peace for me as I wait to be united with her.

Two Years Ago Today...

Today is the day two years ago-March 16- that Jill was found. She was found in a busy town square alone-her cleft deformity very visible-and taken to a hospital. Tonight is the first night of many that she would go to sleep without her mother.




Her mother. I pray for her all the time. I pray that God continues to give her comfort and peace as I can't imagine the pain that she has felt since choosing to let Jill go. Choosing to let her go so that she could have access to life saving surgery, food, and opportunities. Opportunities that for whatever reason she was not able to give her. What a beautiful selfless act it was to surrender her precious child so that she might have a chance at life. Praying for her birth mother today. Praying that someday we might find each other and I might be able to look her in the eye and thank her for the precious gift of her girl. Thank her for allowing me to give her sweet daughter the chance to live that she wasn't able to. Praying that her heart is not hurting beyond what she can bare and that the sweet memories of the first five days that she and Jill were able to spend together are cherished in her heart as fond moments given by God. I love this woman with a love I can't really explain. She is such a vital part of this journey. She chose life for Jill and for that we are forever grateful.

One of Those Days When...

One of those days when you can't help sobbing at all the Lord has done and continues to do..

Didn't sleep much last night because frankly we have a lot of money to come up with still and there is a lot left to do to be ready to leave in 6-7 weeks. Restless. Not worried, but more excited about what the Lord is going to do. Racing mind full of so much.

Then I wake up to...

an email from a friend and her husband who want to donate all the food so that we can sell lunch at our garage sale. She is even bringing along two friends to help sell-who don't even know me because they care so much about the fatherless that they want ever child to have a home.

a check (second donation) for $150 from some precious friends who really don't have much extra spare.

another email from a friend who says she will be there to do whatever I need her to do on the day of the sale.

a man at the CVS who doesn't even charge me for the passport photos I had to get for my visa today because he cares about what we are doing.

a text from my little sister that says she will come the day of the sale and sell her Scentsy and donate to our fund.

an email from my mom who says she will be there to work that day too.

(And so many more!!!)

God is so good and you know I just keep thinking that if I had said no to this adoption thing, if I had been too scared to step out in faith, I would have missed all that God has done in our lives. This is not the first day in our journey that has been abundant with the blessings of God-these posts keep coming up again and again. $15,000 dollars donated, $5,000 donated, our family vacation paid for, friends who give-not once but- again and again..... It occurs to me all the time that-I could have missed this. If I had rationalized this thing, thought about money, let my fear take over-I would have said no-and missed being Jill's mom. I could have missed this glimpse God has given me into His heart and how He continues to show me through His word He loves the orphan. I could have missed the abundant blessings that just keep being poured on by my Father as I walk this road to our girl! Man-I am so glad I didn't miss this!! So glad today that God was persistent in us and that we said YES to this journey when He was calling.

I so wish that I could wrap my arms around each and every one of you who have been such an incredible blessing as we work to bring Jill home. You know who you are and we dearly love each and everyone of you. Can't wait for you to meet Jill. Can't wait to tell her the stories of this journey and all that God has done to bring her to us. To God Be the Glory!!!

We are coming sweet girl. We are coming..

Come On In

The only time in the world that it is ok to enter into the men's room when you are a woman is when.....

You are at a conference of 5,000 moms at ISU and all the bathrooms are turned into ladies' rooms for the day. So funny that there are always flowers in the urinals..Really there are!! :)

Hearts at Home was phenomenal. I was blessed to be taught from God's word by some seasoned moms and two professional dads who have been walking this road of parenthood a bit longer than I. Also blessed to spend the day with a wonderful friend. Oh, we need that!

Especially excited to share about our adoption journey with a couple of women before my last session started. Praying for your family, my dear friend from Iowa. Praying that God continues to open your heart for the orphan. If you stop by, I hope you'll leave a comment. Would love to get your name. For my friend near the St. Louis area-you were such an encouragement.

She Really Needs Her Momma

This baby girl needs her momma. I'm coming sweet girl. I'm coming.

I long to see her smile in the worst way. Won't it be precious to see those chubby cheeks all scrunched up in a smile? Your joy will be restored soon enough and you will be with us forever.

Counting the Days...

Looking good to be traveling in 6-7 weeks if we get all our funds in order. Oh the thought of it makes me giddy with joy.

Happy 2nd Birthday Jill!

Happy Second Birthday Baby Girl! If only we could have had you here for your party. So many love you so much already and I simply can't wait for you to meet them. Missing you so much the last two days. This momma simply can't wait to be with you dear one. Can't wait to hug you, kiss you, and tell you I love you for the first time. Soon. Very Soon.

All My Love,

Mommy

So Many to Love

Thinking so much lately about how God has blessed me in this life with so many people who I love so very much! We have been doing life with this family since darling kiddo was born and they have been such a tremendous blessing to us that it is difficult to put into words what they mean to us. They were such a big part of raising darling kiddo up. Anyway, we don't always get to see each other much these days and it was so amazing to have these two young ladies in my house last night-playing games, eating food, and just spending time together. I had to snap a photo to share with you.

My-how they have grown into fine young women of God. My-how I miss being able to be a part of their lives more often. Still so very blessed by our time together last night.

Just for fun..here are these same three girls ten years ago at my house.

Gotta love looking back and you gotta love those blue and pink curtains in the background. (They really were fashionable then.) Hope you know the joy of so many to love. God is so good to allow us the blessing of relationships here on Earth. Praise Him!!

PS Thanks for praying..Letter arrived on Monday and is on its way to Guanghzou. I am one happy momma!! One step closer to getting our girl home.

Flowers for Jill

This morning at worship..I noticed the bulletin announcement: The altar flowers were given by (insert our names) in honor of their adopted daughter Jillian's second birthday. My dear man did this and didn't mention it to me. Tears welled up in my eyes. Tears because her daddy loves her so already and he thinks of her all the time. Tears because I really don't want to miss her second birthday. I want to be with her on Wednesday. I WANT HER HOME!! I WANT HER TO FEEL OUR LOVE AND IT STINKS THAT WE ARE STILL WAITING!! REALLY STINKS.. We are still waiting on the government to deliver the letter sent two weeks ago. It's holding us up considerably and it probably means that we won't be with her by Easter. God is sovereign. God has a plan, but right now it just hurts to miss her so much. Trusting God and the knowledge that He is planning for her to be united with us in just the right time. Though this momma is really wishing that the time was now!!

Please pray that the letter will arrive tomorrow. We need it to submit to the consulate in Guangzhou before we can begin the wait for travel approval. OH the waiting...

She's Growing Up

We finally did it. We shopped in the junior department because frankly darling kiddo is just too big for girls' sizes anymore. How did this happen? She is growing up-way too fast.


Here is her outfit of choice.....


She wore it to the athletic banquet at her school last night. Hard to believe that another year of sports is coming to an end. She will never play sixth grade basketball or volleyball ever again. Sad. But so happy that she is growing into the young woman that God has planned for her to be from the beginning of time. Resting in His sovereignty and grace as we prepare to enter the teenage years! YIKES!

Taking Her Hurt Away

I have to admit that my focus lately has been on Jill. I think about her all the time, miss her, read books to prepare to be her momma, watch every documentary I can get my hands, continue to set up her room, visit sites of other adoptive parents for advice, learn as much mandarin as I can.... You get the idea.

Sometimes I forget that my darling kiddo's life is about to be turned upside down. She is not an overly compassionate child by nature. She never played mommy and she does not enjoy hugs from many people other than me. She is almost as uncomfortable around babies as her daddy. Babies (classified by her as children under three) scare the living daylights out of her. They are unpredictable and she may loose herself to them as they have a way of capturing your heart. So because of this, she guards herself heavily around them. All of this said, bringing a new baby into our house where she has been the one and only is not going to be easy for her.

I have to admit..I worry. I worry that she will have difficulty finding her new place and embracing her new role once Jill gets here. Yesterday was a rough day for her as she had to sacrifice something that is really important to her because we will most likely be picking up her sister in China and miss out on the event. This was a realization for her that this is really happening and somethings in her life are never going to be the same. She was hurting and as she cried this momma just held her girl, who is almost bigger than I am by now, and prayed over her crying myself.

Why is it so painful to see your children hurt? I would give anything to take this pain from her..to make her experience of becoming a big sis-smooth, easy, pleasant, BUT it may not be. It may be hard, frustrating, and confusing. It may be that she will be hurt and have to readjust to a new kind of normal. I came across a verse in my Bible study this week that reminded me..though many things may not be easy-they will not harm you. This time in our lives is probably not going to be easy..BUT God promises to never leave us or forsake us AND that, my friends, is a promise that I am praying over my big girl as she walks this adventure alongside mommy and daddy into the unknown. Praying that my darling kiddo gets that today. Praying that she continues to learn to lean on Him through the hurting.

Sharing the Good News

So blessed to be able to attend the Camp of Champions USA chili supper last night with one of my favorite families. Blessed to hear all that God is doing through this ministry that provides Christ centered day camp to children in our area all summer long. I can't help but sob each year at this supper when I hear the stories of these children as they are told by staffers who faithfully serve in this ministry. So many hard to reach children, more than 40% from single family homes, loved on and shown Christ each and every week of the summer because of the sacrifice of so many working in this ministry. Many children each summer accept Christ and come to know him because God is using this day camp. I truly love this place. Love it so much that I send my own darling kiddo there a couple of times each summer. Love it even more because it provides a godly, Christ centered work environment in which many of our ministry youth can serve Christ while serving these children. We are blessed to have this ministry working right here in our community- reaching our kids with the gospel through the miraculous power of a God who is mighty to save the least of these. If you are looking for a place for your precious treasures to grow in the Lord while having fun this summer check out their website to find out more about COCUSA. (I know summer seems a long way off, but it will be here before we know it. I am especially hoping for that this year as Jill will be in our arms.) Happy Monday. :)

Those Eyes Say So Much

There is so much that God is working in my heart this weekend and so much that I am thinking and feeling.

As I stare into the eyes of my baby girl, waiting a half a world away, my heart is shattered at the emptiness there. The lack of joy, the absence of relationship, the numbness that I see in her eyes brings me more sadness than I think I can bare. How I long to see her smile and for her to experience the relationships that come from being in a family. How I want more than anything for her to experience the depth of love that comes from a mother and father. How I want her to know the love of the only Father who has been with her since the beginning-God. How I want her to know the happiness and Joy that come from Him.

Dreaming of Jill so much lately and praying that her little heart is ready for the healing that can come from our God who is bigger than all the trauma she has faced in her little life. Praying that God will use our family to bring her hope and joy. Praying that I can be the kind of momma that she needs to love her with the love of Christ because He first loved me.

Loving and Missing her so much today. Turning it over to the Lord and resting in His plan to bring her home in His time. Knowing that this journey is ordained by Him and finding rest in His peace and perfect plan.

The Letter Is In the Mail

Our I-800 approval is in the mail. This is the official piece of paper that says Jill can enter into the US and will be granted citizenship. This is it!!! The final leg of the journey. We should be traveling in about 8-9 weeks. That puts us at Easter..just like my praying friend said all along. :)

While I am thrilled there is so much left to do and so much more money to generate. Pray for us. I simply can't wait to have my baby home!

We May Have Some Trouble

We were blessed to be able to spend our free afternoon (thank you President's Day) with two sweet sheep in our college flock. Love em.

Yummy noodles with Chopsticks!! Too fun!

More Chopstick Cheer!!

Don't leave us out! We're in on the chopstick thing!

We may have some trouble though because at lunch we ate at a noodle joint that offered us chopsticks (as you can see). So. Much. Fun. BUT Daddy refused to even give them a try! So.. I'm thinking he is gonna have some trouble eating in China. Jill may have to be feeding her daddy. LOL :)

I Pray That..

I am blessed with one sweet friend that has been praying faithfully for my baby girl and for this adoption. Today she wrote..

I have been praying that she will laugh today.

My response...

Beautiful.

Precious.

Ministering to this momma's heart oh so much.

Momma's praying that you laugh today too baby girl. Momma's praying that the empty, numb look that I see in your eyes will soon be replaced by pure joy because you are in our family. Love you oh so very much my baby. Praying that you laugh.

You Know It's Going to Be a Good Day When..

Blessed beyond words to have attended the Connecting Hearts to the Forgotten Conference held at East White Oak Bible Church. It was an amazing day focused on raising awareness about adoption and orphan ministry. People from churches everywhere gathered for the orphan's sake. OH. BE. STILL. MY. HEART.

You know it's going to be a good day when...

the first session opens with an introductory video containing priceless images of children and half the women watching are sobbing.

the prayer warriors for the conference are praying over the church and rejoicing that some children are being "born" in their adoptive parents' heart this very day.

you see 147 million gear for sale when you enter the ministry fair. (See it for yourself here.)

there are women in every nook and cranny speaking about bloggers as if they are personal friends.

there are more books about adoption on the display tables than you can even count.

all those sitting around you are signed with AGCI and adopting orphans just like you.

you see a grown man cry when he speaks of his adoption experience.

you are holding a Bible in your lap and the sweet referral picture of your daughter in your hands with tears of praise streaming down your face. Thank you sweet Jesus!!

What a blessed day. Still can hardly believe that I am really walking this road. Still pinching myself and asking God are you sure you have chosen to bless me with this? If you missed it, Kelly Putty from Ordinary Hero is coming to speak, in person, on April 9 at Cornerstone Baptist Church outside of Morton, IL. I wouldn't miss it for the world. Will you join me?

What About James?

My dear husband had the chance to share from the pulpit on Sunday. His sermon was titled..What About James? He gave us just a glimpse into Jesus earthly family and we dug into scripture to see what we could learn about James (Jesus earthly half brother). Check it out HERE.

So very lucky to have such a Godly man leading our family.

Got Junk?

Bringing our girl home costs money. While we have seen God move in miraculous ways, there is still a long way to go in order for us to say..We are fully funded. (Oh those would be precious words!) We still need about $13000 toward the orphanage donation and our travel expenses. SO...We are planning a huge indoor garage/bake sale. We would love your junk (aka treasures) and/or bake goods to sell in order to help us get our girl home. We are having the sale the first Saturday in April and would be happy to pick up any donations you have for the sale as soon as you have them ready. Just give us a call and we will be happy to accept anything you have laying around to donate for Jill's sake. Praying over all the details and so appreciate each and everyone of you who will be considering getting involved in some way.

No junk? We need volunteers to help us set up, man the stations, take cash, and tear down that day too. Keep watching the blog for more information and spread the word for us. Getting so close to actually having her here. Can you believe it?

Gotta Read His Story

Tears streaming down after I saw this handsome little man and read his mamma's post! (Hard to believe coming from me I know. :) Can you even imagine that sweet face starving in an orphanage with no mommy and daddy? Alone. Rejected. Orphaned. Rejoicing that he is home, but my heart is breaking for soooo many like him who are still there. WAITING. What was I waiting for all this time ignoring these children? God forgive me.

Go here to read his sweet mamma's post about an wonderful weekend he recently spent-orphaned no more.

Too Much Cuteness

Jill's closet went from this....

to this.....



And her dresser from this...


To this....

(All four drawers are full!!)
because of a gift from some super friends. Can you even believe how wonderful our friends have been? So very blessed to walk alongside so many people who care so much about our baby girl!! Let me just say there is way too much cuteness here!!!! How will I decide what to put on her? So sweet to purchase the baby laundry soap and wash these small, very pink clothes. I can't wait to try these dresses on her. I am dress kind of momma! She has quite the wardrobe and so now all we need at our house is her sweet face. Stay tuned..her room is almost done and it is sooooo cute!!

Miraculous Provision

He's done it again! God has provided in such a miraculous way that I am left standing in the middle of the room with my jaw dropping to the ground and tears streaming down my face. There are things, that as a family, we willingly laid at the foot of the cross-gave up for a time- so that financially this adoption would be possible. We were given an incredible gift this week, by some very precious people, that has given back to our family something we would have had to go without this summer. This thing that we were going without has been a huge part of our family's best memories over the last three years. It has been a huge part of the Lord challenging us and growing us in our faith together as a family, but it comes at a price. A price we weren't going to be able to pay because of the adoption. That now is paid in full because of this gift! The best part is..Jill will be with us when we are able to experience it. WE WILL BE TOGETHER AS A FAMILY IN THIS SPECIAL PLACE EXPERIENCING IT TOGETHER AS A FAMILY BECAUSE GOD CONTINUES TO MEET OUR NEEDS ABOVE AND BEYOND ALL THAT WE DREAM AS WE STRIVE TO SERVE HIM!!! TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!

Feeling a lot like David in 2 Samuel 7:18.. "O Sovereign Lord, Who Am I and what is my family that you have brought me this far?".. lately as He continues to blow my mind with his goodness.

Should Have Known Better

What an incredible day on Sunday we had spending some precious time with our ministry students. To say that I love, love, love them would be a gross understatement. They make me cry, laugh, inspire me, give the best hugs, and they are just so much fun. We had a super sub fundraiser at the church in the AM to help support our children's outreach ministry in the public housing this summer...... way to go..working oh so hard!

When we finished, we needed to get the extra supplies back to our house next door to our church. So..the high school boys (and one precious girl) volunteer to carry the stuff home for us. So sweet, so helpful, so like Jesus..Right? My husband gives them the go ahead and they head off to our house while we stay and continue cleaning up the kitchen in the church basement. What great kids.. So sacrificial to offer their weary muscles up to us...to serve us..

Then...we come home to find this...

soda cans hidden all around the house like Easter eggs. The soda cans were among the supplies they had so kindly carried over from the church. We have been in youth ministry for almost ten years now and my dh should have known better than to let the high school boys in the house alone. LOL.. Seriously though.. these kids are so much stinkin' fun. They leave me in stitches so much and so much creativity. They are truly the best kids in the world! So blessed to have them in my life. Especially thankful that the girl with them had enough sense to tell them not to put any in the stove. I probably would have preheated without looking inside and blown up a soda can..YUCK!

Praying that my house is always overflowing with teens. Thanks to Jesus for putting such great kids in my life!

Celebrating Chinese New Year

We were out of place indeed, darling kiddo and I, at Saturday's celebration observing Chinese New Year in our area without our Chinese daughter. Oh I wish she was here to experience it with us. Still, darling kiddo and I enjoyed ourselves making crafts, learning about cultural practices, and eating yummy (American) Chinese food. The Chinese daughters were oh so beautiful in their traditional dresses. I couldn't help but dream of our Jillian here wearing a little silk dress next year right alongside mommy, daddy, and sissy.

Waiting for you here my sweet one. Praying for the days to move quickly until you are in our arms. God has so much in store for your little life already and we are beyond blessed to be preparing to add you to our family. Love you, Love you, Love you little one.

5:30 AM..Really Lord?

God is laying something pretty exciting on my heart. He began to reveal it to me yesterday and it involves my teen girls which always excites me. It is going to take a lot of time though and despite my reasoning with God that I am adopting (remember LORD?), traveling in the next twelve weeks to China, still need to come up with $10,000, planning fundraisers, running my house, trying to stay sane..He is not giving up on me. This idea just won't leave my mind and so just as God does...this thing is coming together pretty fast. Please pray that I am obedient to God's leading despite the thousand excuses that I sometimes use to excuse my self from following his will. So excited to see what God does with this. Just wish he would not wake me at 5:30 on Saturday morning to "talk" about it...Praise Him for His involvement in my life and the life of my girls. Praise Him that He loves them so much..He demands my time and attention! What a thrilling adventure indeed to serve Him!

It's Arrived

That's right..twenty inches of snow across the entire middle section of the country can't stop the USPS from delivering my immigration papers to Texas. They arrived in two days (instead of one because of the snow) and are now in the hands of the US govt. Please, please pray that our Jill's visa paperwork is processed quickly. It is all up to the US now..as they are in charge of the rest of the process. It could take them three more months, but I am hoping they will pass us along sooner than that! As soon as they approve, WE ARE CHINA BOUND!!! I can hardly keep from crying at the thought. What will it be like to finally hold my daughter in my arms? PRAISE HIM THAT HE HAS ALLOWED THIS TREMENDOUS BLESSING!!!

My She's Grown

The team from Parental Care Ministries is back in the US safe and sound after taking a mission team to Uganda to serve in the schools they support there. They were able to deliver a small package to the nine year old girl we sponsor there. They just sent us this new picture of her..She looks so well and so much bigger than the last picture we received. She is wearing her school uniform and has on shoes. God is so good for providing for these orphaned children through this ministry. What a blessing to be a small part of what God is doing to meet the needs of these children who desperately need Him. What an amazing journey it was for the team from PCM last week. You can read about it on their blog. If your snowed in like I am, it will bless you!